


Smoke and Snapbacks

by Starr_Reborn



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Because it's funny that's why, Bella is a stoner, Bella is kinda a hippy, Bella makes errbody gay, Bromance with all dudes, Charlie is da real MVP, DRUGS DAMNIT, Did somebody say Pop Culture references?, Does this count as crack yet, Drugs, F/F, Gay, Holy shit is that a plot taking form??, She does them, She is a bro, The author is a forgetful tease, This is trash, Who the fuck sprinkled serious in this soup!?, don't read it, no?, the bro-est of bros, unnecessarily amounts of gay, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2018-09-23 01:19:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 48,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9634106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starr_Reborn/pseuds/Starr_Reborn
Summary: Give a wilting wallflower some TLC and you'll watch it bloom.





	1. What the Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Do you know what I love about twilight? All the beautiful women portraying all the beautiful women. And Kristen Stewart's face. Luff me some of that...
> 
> No but for serious, I actually love what the fandom does. I love that Stephanie Meyer made a girl main character that's such a blank slate that literally anyone and everyone can read something different from her. I love seeing how people see her, portray her. What they have her say what they have her do who they have her love and why and HOW! I've always admired that about this series.
> 
> So I'll toss my hat in the ring. Well, considering I gave it to her, Bella's hat hehe. ALL HAIL SNAPBACKS!

"Charles!" It was his name. But not a God damn person he knew called him that. The last time he'd heard that name, in fact, had been at his mother's bedside in the hospital, gripping one of her frail shaking hands between both of his as she smiled up at him. None of his friends called him that jokingly. None of his co-workers. No-one.

"Charles, hey, hey Charles!"

Really whoever this Charles fellow was, he should speak up, allow the young girl to stop screaming her heart out in public. It was embarrassing, really. Didn't she feel embarrassed making a scene like that? And in an airport, no less! Really, Charles was just being a twat to leave her hanging like this.

"SIR CHARLES!" He flinched forward, clapping a hand over the ear he was certain would start bleeding after such an unnecessary assault of sound. Really he should have known. With his brows touching his hairline, he turns on his heel to face the young gal that hadn't stopped yelling his formal name for the past minute. Cheeks hot from the attention everyone was giving them, but steadfastly ignoring those people.

He doesn't expect what he's met with.

His daughter is a sweet girl. Bit of a loner, shy, but smart. Quick witted. If one got the chance to insert themselves into her life as a person to be friendly with, they might find she's a delightful girl, mild and kind. With a tendency to be _overly_ selfless, strange as that seems. That's what he remembered of her. He'd expected his sweet, shy young thing to be all hesitant smiles and awkward conversations.

But she's beaming. A smile so wide it squints her shining brown eyes, so similar to his own. A tattered backpack hangs, no, droops from one shoulder, and she's got the only other bag on her person against her hip opposite the wilting backpacking. It's secured by a strap slung across her body. Both bags, though sad and worn nearly threadbare, are bursting at the seams and he's terrified all her, err, unmentionables, will pop out at any second.

"Pops, ya shoulda acknowledged me when I was yelling all over the place!" She positively crows once she's allowed him the chance to take her in, bounding forward to jostle her father with the biggest bear hug possible around her bulging bags. He's taken aback, but returns the hearty squeeze as well he can. "That was probably embarrassing for you, sorry 'bout that! Mum always says I get way too excitable for my own good, especially in public!"

Since when!? Why was he not informed, warned or anything?! Clearly this was his daughter, just. Also not.

"Who are you and what have you done with my precious Wallflower?" It comes tumbling out of his mouth as she draws back from their embrace. She's gripped by the briefest moment of confusion, a moment that furrows her brows, but her wide smile returns remarkably quick.

"Aww dad, you should know that your Wallflower is still here, she's just bloomed! Anything can bloom in the right environment, with the proper care and attention," she chuckled, reaching up one hand to adjust the baseball cap balanced precariously upon her head. It's facing backwards, titled in such a way that shifting her head to look up causes it's flat bill to touch the top of her spine.

Oh God please don't let her be a wannabe thug. He's seen those flat bill caps, he knows all the punks like to wear them.

"Anyway, come'on! Let's get on the road I'm starving," she loops an arm with his to lead him in a direction, but he resists.

"Ah, car's this way, Bells." She shrugs and grins, turning them around and pulling him that way instead.

"Cool!" He chuckles, smiling fondly at the humming brunette latched to his side. Ok so maybe she wasn't the same delicate wilting flower he remembered, but you know? This boisterous ball of fun wasn't so bad. Not yet at least. She made people happy, at least, those people around them kept directing huge smiles their way...

Well, he could actually do with less people directing smiles their way, to be absolutely certain. In fact all the young males could go ahead and stop mooning over his beautiful baby. Before he had to become Officer Dad on their butts.

"So do you have a girlfriend yet? An affair partner? A buddy whom to call at night for the booty?" She wore this sweet, innocent grin. Even as he gasped and gaped at her, very much a fish-out-of-water.

"Wha- I don't- why would- _what_!?"

"Yah, me neither. Not for lack of trying, mind you. Oh wait, wait no yes definitely from lack of trying." What the Hell. "But that's also intentional, see, 'cause like, everyone says there are plenty of fish in the sea, but I don't even own a boat! So why poke around the coastline when I could invest my time in greater catches, amiright?"

"Uhh, yea?"

"Really the fish should come crawling to us," there was no polite way to request she leave him out of this fantasy world she was creating. He was fine being single, thank you very much. "Look at us! We're beautiful!"

"Uh-huh. Right."

"Ya know, dad, the fish come crawling quicker when you believe in your own hot-ness."

"Bells I want to ask you something, and please hear me out," he pauses to glance around as they finally exit the airport, waiting and walking until there are significantly less people staring and listening. Seriously, what was up with that! "Are you on drugs?"

She actually stops. Like, stops dead in her tracks. And tangled as their arms are, it yanks him to an abrupt halt. He glances round nervously, making sure no cars are coming. They ARE in the middle of the main thoroughfare right now, pick ups and drop offs. He can see his cruiser from here; he craves the safety (and more important, the privacy) of its innards in a way he's never quite wanted anything before.

She's staring at him. Wide eyed. Open mouthed. Now she's the fish-out-of-water. And then her mouth shuts, her eyes narrow. Her hands curl into loose fists that she plants on either of her hips. An instinct creeps up his back, tickling into his awareness, raising the fine hairs on the back of his neck. He knows this pose, as all men do. This is fierce, righteous woman pose.

"Dad!" Here it comes. He's tense, waiting for his lumps, and she continues, "I can't believe you! Marijuana is not a drug, it is a naturally occurring herb that requires no manufacturing in order to be useable. And it's perfectly legal in Washington!"

"I... wh-what?"

"You know I've struggled with crippling anxiety my whole life, dad. Not to mention my chronic insomnia, and my ongoing battle with severe depression," she'd been smiling while she reprimanded him, but she was startlingly serious now, somber. She wasn't quite frowning or scowling, but her expression was. Aching.

So maybe there was a bit more to her shyness, maybe he didn't like to think about it, because then he'd think only that it was his fault. It was his fault the marriage failed. He'd never done or been enough. He'd never fought hard enough. Not for Renée. Not for Bella. And she'd never blamed him, not to his face at least, but that didn't excuse him. That didn't mean it wasn't all his doing.

"It got really bad a few years back, I mean, _really_ bad. Bad enough that even mum noticed, scatter-brained as she is," Bella's smile was slowly fighting it's way back onto her face, at least for a moment. It was a bit hollow, though. "Ahh, well I got prescribed and here I am now! I mean, ah, sometimes I feel kinda pathetic, ya know? I gotta depend on this stuff to keep me sane and like, I dunno. Just. Makes me feel..." Her expression soured. Face pinched.

She laughed then, reaching up to adjust her hat again. Even if both actions seemed rather forced ways to break the tension.

"Well anyway, I swear I'm not a lazy stoner or anything! Actually it makes me very dedicated. I like to clean on it, and like, work out, do homework and stuff. Uhh. I'm not supposed to do it in public, though. Private residence is generally the rule, but you're also the Big Kahuna Police Chief so I know you probably don't want that in your house. I actually wanted to discuss with you the alternatives to taking my medicine, if that's alright."

"Uhh, y-yeah! No that's fine, here let's uh, get in the car to finish this conversation," he hopped back into action, taking one of her arms in his to continue leading her towards the car. Waving apologetically at the elderly man sitting patiently in his own car, wondering how long the man had been sitting there for them to move.

* * *

"So I started up meditation and I really think, along with my regular medication, that it's helped balance me out. I'm more in tune with myself, and the universe, and the innate forces which attract and repel people and things unto me." A bunch of hippy dippy bull shit, sounded like. Not that he was saying she was a hippy. He was almost entirely certain all hippies were vegans and the fat dripping from the third pound of messy, meaty goodness that was her burger was anything but vegan.

And that made him oddly proud. Not that there was anything wrong with vegans just that he truly did not understand them in any way shape or form, so he was glad he wouldn't be living with and feeding one. Not that he would have minded, he loved his daughter no matter what!

"Meditation, eh?"

"I know," she paused in between bites to take a few healthy swallows of water. "I know, sounds like a load of hogwash. I thought it'd be useless but I'm telling you, it helped! Still does." She doesn't elaborate beyond that, busy diving back into her rather ridiculous burger. He's trying not to watch her eat, really he is. It's just.

"Why are you doing that?" Her eyes pan up to meet his and she hums, but doesn't answer yet. Polite enough to finish her mouthful.

"What's that?"

"Why are you, err, wiggling in your seat?"

"Hmmmm," she takes a thoughtful - messy, slightly aggressive - bite of her burger. Closes her eyes to wriggle around. Swallows. "Ever have food so good it makes you want to dance?" He doesn't know quite what to say to that. So he hands her a napkin.

"You're a sloppy eater."

"You don't enjoy food enough." She accuses behind the napkin, sticking her tongue out when she's cleaned her face free of food smears.

"Definitely not as much as you," that's for sure. "So uh..." She grunted. "Do I need to leave you alone with that?" He meant the remains of her burger, but even as he asked she was shoveling the rest of it into her mouth. Lord help him.

"Nash'fine!" Right. He threw the napkin at her this time. "I'm beginning to feel offended by your napkin tossing."

"Good. Feel offended. Feel offended and learn manners." She stuck her tongue out again. He returned the gesture.

"Aren't you supposed to be a bachelor? Since when does your average everyday manly man care about manners?"

"Aren't you supposed to be a lady?"

"Um no, nobody said anything about lady, m'kay? I'm what the laymen call a bro."

"Uh-huh, and what exactly does that entail?"

"That I conduct myself and my business always with an air of excellence."

"Oh right, sure." Well that could be worse; she wasn't a wannabe gang-banger thug, just a, err, 'bro'. So the whole, hat-tilted-backwards thing was ok. He had a few worn caps he'd be willing to part with, in fact. Though, and as he thought this he considered her hat where it lay on the table - she had only manners enough to manage to remove her hat indoors - none of them sported quite the radical design as hers. Or that nifty flat bill.

"Like my hat?"

"Oh," she looked pleased as punch, and he couldn't help smiling in return. "Yeah it's pretty neat."

"I like to think so."

"It's got the, err, pokemon on it?" Bella smiled even as he was certain he fucked the name up, nodding and giving him an extravagant thumbs up.

"That's the one! And the pokeball on the front just pops, right?" He nodded, lost. Not that that stopped her. She went on to tell him all about the game she was currently playing while he worked his way through his meal. He didn't know what a 'nuzlocke' was but it sounded unnecessarily emotional. Or maybe that was just Bella acting it up. That was also entirely possible.

"Remind me to go grocery shopping," he remarks after paying for their meal. Diner food never gets old, not when it's as good as it is here - even if he doesn't enjoy it to the, ah, extent that Bella does - but there's something more intimate about a home cooked meal. And sure, he's not exactly a chef but even he can manage spaghetti for his daughter!

...probably.

Hopefully she can cook, though.

"Oh you cook? Cool, I happen to dabble in the kitchen myself, I'll definitely make dinner next time!"

Excellence indeed.

* * *

Her father is kinda the greatest person ever. And he's not heard that enough, it's clear in the way he flushes and fidgets when she praises him for all that he does. He might not have remembered to pick up groceries before her arrival, but he'd managed to upgrade her old childhood bedroom with some big girl furniture and just a few modern amenities, like a brand-spanking-new desktop and a modest television she'd probably never use.

She was almost sad he'd gotten rid of Old Moana, the dial-up computer box of her youth, but that desktop was pretty wicked. And it probably worked better and quieter and quicker but Moana had personality! BUT, and on the brightest side, he'd covered her walls in a fresh coat of paint. It was a delightful shade of purple that was simply begging her to tack up her tapestry and tea lights.

He stood in her doorway only long enough for her to oooh and aaah and wrap him up in a pretty bone popping hug for all that he did - it was then that he was hemming and blushing and studying the toes of his boots, even as he admitted there was another surprise yet to come - and then he scuttled away to let her fall into her hu-YUGE bed and maybe nap.

She tossed back a few choice gummies, not particularly potent in their THC content but enough to get her going, and set to work unpacking her two favorite bags. Charlie had already agreed that, yes, smoking in the house made him uncomfortable, and she totally understood. So she'd settled on consumables and vaping. Even if it made her look like a hipster garbage can. She wasn't even entirely certain he knew what a hipster was so he wouldn't judge, not really.

At least he'd only judge a little, and hey! She was a tough cookie, she could handle it!

She could handle anything. That is to say, she'd have to. She had little choice in the matter. She'd uprooted herself to come here and that was fine, she'd decided it would be and so it was. It just. It would take some time to get used to the rain. To a morning without mum burning bacon in the kitchen while she sang terribly off-key jazz tunes. The sheer overwhelming amount of green everywhere.

This was good in its own way. She knew it was. She was making it good, damnit!

"I need music," she declared to the, uh, bedspread. She pushed herself up from comforter, rolling off the bed onto her feet and making her way over to the desktop. At least the old rolling chair was still there. Creaky and stiff as she remembered. It made her smile. And once she had the air filling with tunes did she truly, finally fully relax.

And she could like, actively put her clothes away. Search out stuff to hang her tea lights and tapestry up with...

"DAAAAD!" She could hear him somewhere in the house. A heavy thump, cursing. Heavier thumps. The creaking of the stairs. He pops into her doorway, red-faced and hair ruffled. Whoops. "Heeey, so. I wanted to hang some stuff up..." He looks positively put out but nods, disappearing for a few minutes. In that time she unpacked both bags, not that there was terribly much she had to unpack.

Some amount of underwear, jeans, too many pairs of shorts, and various tees. She needs more clothing, given the only new articles of clothing among the meager, worn stack are the rain jacket and rain boots her step-dad had insisted she'd need for her relocation. Blessed man, really.

"Is that all?" Even Charlie sounded unimpressed as he ambled back into the room, peering over her shoulder. She spins on her heel to confront him, poking in the chest,

"Oi, I'm a simple lady-"

"Thought you weren't a lady?" The look she shoots him is supposed to be nasty, but it's really only proud as fuck.

"You right though," she agrees with a nod. "I digress, I really don't have much. So yeah."

"Hmm, fair 'nough. So what're you hanging?"

"Tea lights and a tapestry," there's the oddest expression that crosses his features - in this moment he thinks only, _Dear God she IS a hippy!_ \- that she can't quite identify. He seems to shake himself though, nodding, muttering,

"Yes of course," and then, being the kind gent that he is, he puts up all her shit for her. Even despite her protests. So she settles for instructing since he won't hear of her handling tools. And she gets it, you know, she understood. She had been clumsy in her youth, she wouldn't trust her with a hammer either. Well, she might. But she had more faith in herself these days.

Meditation yo. Shit was amazing for her mental health and personal growth. Charlie would just have to learn how capable she had become. Then he'd trust her with, ah, hammers...

Ok but there WAS a greater, overarching reason for him to know she was well and capable. She'd dropped all her problems on him today and practically owed it to him to prove that he needn't worry endlessly after her. And those problems, they were still things she struggled with, but she was getting there! She was struggling, but she wasn't slowly being crushed to death by her stresses... And it'd been really touch-and-go with that crushing bit for a while there. But she was ok. Maybe she wasn't great but she was trying.

"Ah, Bells?" He'd kicked off his shoes to stand on her bed, but the way he was leaning against the wall stretching on his tippy toes had his arms shaking.

"Oh shit! Yeah that's perfect I'm so sorry I totally spaced out there!" He grunted, focused more on nailing the other end of the tapestry to the wall. With a breath, he rocked back, stumbling slightly before he caught his balance and admired his work. She may have been a hippy but you know? This didn't look half bad. He tossed a grin over his shoulder at her when she began to chuckle. "Need a hand?"

And it was clear from his next expression he didn't, not that it stopped her from offering a hand. Which, surprisingly, he elected to take.

"It's not bad," he told her after they'd both admired the finished product from the floor.

"I can find you-"

"I'm good," she bit back a laugh, slapping his shoulder rough. He nearly stumbled, and the next look he gave her was both shocked and pleased. "So, uh. Did you wanna. Err, watch the game with me?"

"Only if you can put up with me. I'm known to get particularly vicious when my team is down."

"You. Like sports?" Her next slap definitely fumbled him forward a few steps.

"Step-padre plays ball, pops. I practically had no choice. Err... you gonna be ok?"

"'m fine!" He sniffled, rubbing at his eyes. "Just. Bless that man."


	2. And then school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's so much in the process of readying herself for school...
> 
>  
> 
> Mostly smoking and doing everything in her power to not get ready for school until the last possible second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The backpack is also mine. It used to be my smoking pack for the only two years of college i actually attended. You're damn right I still have it.
> 
>  Hey, so if you could either forgive my mistakes or point them out? That'd be great.

A truck. That salty sea dog had gotten her a fucking truck. She might actually start crying. It was old and big as fuck and faded-red, just a few shades off from the rime of rust that lined a few hundred places all over the ancient beast. You know, scratch that, she was totally tearing up right now. This was just scrumptious.

Truly, truly scrumptious.

"I'ma name her Truly." Charlie and Billy both snorted, Jacob shot her a smile that told a fine tale of confusion. She simply nodded to herself, turning to pop Charlie's spine to a minimal degree. She then moved over to Billy and leaned down to seize his shoulders in a tight squeeze. Jacob was a different story- he picked her up off the ground with a grunt and a little laugh, one she echoed as she crushed his ribs as best she could in return.

"Seriously, you guys," she was looking at all her men right now, beaming after finding her feet on the ground once again. "This is fucking amazing!"

Jacob laughed and scratched at the back of his head, his delightfully tan skin darkening upon his high cheekbones. Billy chuckled and shook his head, but smiled right back. Charlie quietly reprimanded her language, but grinned and nodded in return, face flush as well. A surprise, he'd said. He coulda said he was literally the greatest person in the world instead. That would have been less of an understatement.

"Glad you like it."

"I don't like it," her voice took on a sharp edge as she rounded on her father. Which it immediately lost when she continued with, "I LOVE it!" Awww he was such an adorable dad. She was going to spoil him _rotten_.

"Ahh, shouldn't you be getting ready for school?" his voice was all gruff and rumbly, even as his cheeks were a ruddy beacon of embarrassment. She snickered but bowed out, waving for Jake to follow after her. Which he immediately did, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, as it were.

"My dude, when did you become a bean pole?" She waited only until they'd passed the threshold of the front door. He huffed at her back, and she turned her head just enough for him to catch her teasing grin.

"Puberty, baby! Like a whole new world-"

"Don't you dare close your eyes?"

"Something like that." He snorted. It _had_ pretty much felt like he just woke up one day towering over everyone. He was even starting to fill out his frame. A little. He hesitated at first to follow her up the stairs, but then he realized she was already dressed so going to her room couldn't be very scandalous. He walked in just in time to watch her shove a fist full of candy in her mouth.

Catching him out of the corner of her eye, she turned to him with puffed cheeks and what was supposed to be a grin. She added two thumbs up to further express her point. He just laughed.

"Isn't it a little early for candy?"

"Mmffher phrryrrr."

"Hey I'm not even eighteen, so technically I'm still a snot-nosed kid and therefore it's never too early for me. What's your excuse?"

"Mmmphrrscfrrr."

"Bullshit." She finally swallowed her candy, gasping dramatically for air, and upon filling her lungs grinned like the looniest toon. She turned around to snatch something off her computer desk, then with surprising speed twisted back around and threw it at his face.

"Bullseye," she countered while he bent to retrieve the packet of what appeared to be sour gummy worms. She waited only long enough for him to turn the packet over in his hands and read the front. He swore, almost under his breath but she definitely heard, stepping closer to snatch the packet back. "It's neato as fuck, right?" A bark of laughter erupted from him.

"Excuse me, 'neato as fuck'?"

"Um, chyeah, loser. Talk like a cool kid, why dontcha?" He snorted. And then, "So do ya wanna try one?"

"Dude what?"

"A gummy? Would you like to try one?"

"Uhh..."

" _Bells!_ " Her brows rose up as she watched Jacob fidget. Continued to watch him even as she turned her head to holler back,

"YAH?"

" _Hurry it up young lady!_ "

"I'M NOT A LADY OLD MAN!" She finally moved back to the desk, putting the gummies away. "Hey man, no pressure you know? If you ever want a safe place to try em with a person that ain't sketchy, I'm your fuckin gril, ya feel?" He finally relaxed, grinning and nodding, even as he blushed and hurried to explain himself.

"Yeah it's just my dad and I've got school and-"

"My dude!" She laughed, clapping him on the shoulder as she made it back to him. "It's chill, man! I totally understand." It was then, smiling affectionately at each other, close, touching, that Charlie stormed in.

"I'll have you know I'm not-" he stops and stares, mouth hanging open. It clicks shut and his eyes narrow. "Jacob, my boy, shouldn't you be getting ready for school as well?"

"You go to Forks high?" Her head whipped around so fast it gave her whiplash, huge smile in place, only to be immediately disappointed.

"Pfft, nah. I go to school on the rez. Starts an hour later than yours."

"That's lame as shit, but dad's right. I do gotta finish getting ready..." as she spoke she stepped away from him, over towards her nightstand. Her hat was on top of the lamp there. One of the few pieces of furniture still from her girlhood. She grabbed it, pulling it on her head (declaring, "Aaand done." Much to the amusement of Jacob) and adjusting its tilt just so the morning sun on her commute wouldn't...

Oh. Ah. Right. This. This is Forks. Far, far away from Phoenix. That blinding sunshine on her morning and evening drives won't be a problem anymore. Haha, and that, that was good! Perfect, even. She could, uh, just wear it backwards.

"Cool hat," Jacob was hesitating in the doorway, despite Charlie's disapproving, discouraging stare.

"Neato as fuck, eh?"

"Bella!"

"Charlie!" Their stare down was ruined by Charlie's triumphant smile when he heard Jacob close the front door and blaze a trail out front to his own father. "Eww dad. Come on are you serious? He's like, twelve!" Charlie laughed, but it was sheepish.

"Yeah, well he doesn't look at you like he's twelve."

"That's only because I haven't ruined him yet."

"Excuse me?"

"Welp it's about time for school, I better get going!"

* * *

So she was considering taking some recreational visits to Mary Jane's plain of existence.

See, the problem was that she liked the act of smoking. In fact, she lived for the act of smoking. Hell, back in Phoenix, mum used to join her for a weekly Saturday morning blunt on the back porch. It was a slightly weird but definitely delightful bonding experience that had made her cherish her somewhat screw-loose mother to the degree that she did now - yearning for her company even now, like a needy puppy.

And, if she were to be honest, a good lot of her personal development happened on that back porch, sharing her innermost thoughts and feelings with her mother. And her mother, of course, returning that favor. She'd love to share something similar with Charlie, but she also knew better than to hold her breath for that one. She didn't blame him and wouldn't be or act upset about it, but she might wish upon a few stars about it.

Regardless of that, those special experiences had endeared her to the magical herb and. Damnit, she wanted to smoke! She wanted to taste ash on her tongue she wanted to feel the burn of smoke in her lungs. She wanted that pungent aroma to seep itself into her every article of clothing, wanted the cab of her truck to reek like the stankiest skunk. She wanted it, she'd even go as far as to say she _needed_ it.

So she'd have to find a safe place to do it. She was heavily considering the young Jacob Black. He seemed malleable and slightly interested. At the very least he hadn't given a downright no. That was basically yes. Well. Ok. So it wasn't yes by any means whatsoever. But he hadn't said _no_ yet. So it would be incredibly wrong to pressure him, but maybe they could hang out more and she could ask later?

All else failed, she'd just make sure he was ok with her smoking, whether he did join in on it or not.

All these things and more ran through her mind as she drove to school. The more, for the most part, revolving around the music in her ears. Her radio was as ancient as the car so she'd made a bad decision to put her ear buds in her ears to blast some solid tunes directly into her brain. Dangerous? Yes absolutely. Stupid? Incredibly so! But how else would she get her daily dose of trap music?

She was actually kinda hoping that she'd get lost and, oh darn, wouldn't make it to the school on time - or like, at all maybe - and that would be a terribly horrible no good thing. Diggity darnit, whatever would she do then?

Hehe, oh ahhh, ok but Charlie would possibly shit an elephant when she did that - not if, when; even she knew better than to skip the first day completely. And driving through miniscule neighborhoods could only take up so much time, so with a sigh and multiple drawn out grumblings, she headed in the direction for school.

Yeah she'd never been there but this town is the Webster's dictionary definition of fucking bumfuck-nowhere-small. It's easy to find and even taking her time to get there hadn't completely cleared the parking lot. She wanted to complain that there was absolutely nowhere to park. Coming practically late and all. But uh, this place wasn't bumfuck for no reason.

Even 'filled' with cars, there were spaces everywhere. She wondered if the fine folk that built the school had predicted larger amounts of people going to it or if the laughably, comparatively huge parking lot was just for shits and giggles... hmm, the world may never know.

So she put Truly in park and turned her sweet love muffin off, popping out one of the ear buds to listen to the happy, exhausted groan the engine gave out when it finally was shut off. This poor, ferocious monster was on its last legs. What a tough beauty she was.

"Don't worry, Truly," she leaned forward to pat the dash. "I'll love you til your last breath, may that time come none-too-soon." And until then, she'd make sure to honor the rusted red giant by filling her with smoke and vapors. The latter of which she could take care of now.

The backpack she'd brought from Phoenix was her backpack from first grade. Half the teeth on the zipper were fucked all to Hell, crooked and broken like an addict's mouth. The inside seam was busted, fraying fluffs of string often getting caught in those mangled teeth. She'd spilled beer in here, she'd left it buried in the woods for two weeks, she'd crushed it, crumpled it, fell and stomped on it. She'd kicked it and cursed it and done everything to kill it, but still it lived.

Maybe to spite her, not that she was feeling particularly spited. If anything, it had proven itself to be the perfect smoking companion, and she had grown to respect it. Now she cursed it only when it brought it upon itself for being a fucking dick. Which, right now, it wasn't. It was cooperating in opening its unfortunate maw for her to extract her vape pen from its guts.

Twas a good boy, this pen of hers. The rubber detailing - or was it silicon? Meh - was a bright, glaring orange. Or it had been once. She'd since smudged and dirtied and muddled the color with ash and, well, dirt. So it was softer on the eyes now. She pushed the button that would kick it to life a few times, holding it down on the last until she could hear the hiss of oil meeting heat. And then puffed. A little at first, get it running.

And then deep draws on it, until her throat burned and her lungs shrieked and she could do nothing but pull the pen from her mouth and reel back, bumping the headrest and jostling her snapback from her head. She closed her eyes, inhaling as much air as she could. Her lungs might just burst. She should treat them nicer.

The vapor bursts out of her in a fit of coughs. Aching, choking, dying from lung cancer sorta coughs. The kind that made spittle fly from her lips and bile tickle at the back of her throat. There was an incredible chance she might actually get sick if she kept coughing like this. She fumbled for her bag, pulling out her water bottle and flipping up the straw thingy to take quick mouthfuls of water in between gasps for air and her bone rattling coughs.

And with the help of water she was well again. Err, well enough. She could take in enough oxygen to suck at her pen, but a bit more delicately, at least. So with one hand she continued to do just that. The other ran through her hair, before dropping to her side and snatching up her hat, pulling it back onto her head. The insignificant weight, the fit of the band around her skull, it was familiar and comforting.

Like the drooping of her eyelids, the grin curling at her mouth, the fuzzy warmth beginning to fill her limbs and tingle in her ears. Yeah, this was good. Real good. She pulled on the handle to her door as she took one last draw on the pen, kicking the door open and hopping out of the cab with a grunt and vapor puffing out of her nostrils. She grabbed one strap of her bag, slinging it over her shoulder and slamming the door shut behind her. She took the pen from her lips, reaching back to stuff it in the pocket she'd opened, tugging sharply to get it closed.

And then she turned to face the day, grinning. Didn't even let herself flinch when she noticed the open-mouthed stares she was receiving. She wouldn't let it bother her. In fact she'd use this to her advantage and-

_Oh FUCK, this was a great song._

She stuffed her one free-balling ear bud back into her ear, cranking up the volume. So she could have taken this chance to be friendly and endear herself to the people she'd be going to school with for however long but fuck that this song was catchy as Hell. So instead she'd dance and groove her way up to that front office and snatch her schedule. Maybe get sweet on the office folk, 'cause it never hurt to have an in with the office folk.

She threw the door open with unnecessary gusto and was thusly met with shrewd stares. Each stare was returned by a huge, gleaming smile, courtesy of her. And though it did throw them off for a few seconds, soon she was receiving likewise smiles, none noticing her stuffing her ear buds into her shirt.

The terribly bored woman filing her nails at the desk was young.

Not like, early-mid twenties, fresh outta college kinda young. More like early-mid thirties, which wasn't all that young to certain peoples, but considering Phoenix had Grandmama Leatherface manning the front office desk, this face was practically a wee babby. And, bored as she was, this Ms. Cope had a delightful softness to her features that the Crypt Keeper had definitely been lacking.

"Excuse me, young lady, could I get some help?" Cope's brows shot up before her eyes did, meeting Bella's with a stare that was all and only incredulous. "You see I'm new here so I dunno if they let students like yourself help or if I can convince you to grab one of the office folk?"

Ms. Cope cracked a smile, laughed. She rolled her eyes and huffed and snorted and did everything to show she did not take it seriously but the curl of her mouth and the shine in her eyes couldn't be more telling. Abandoning her nail file, she leaned forward,

"That's real sweet, hun, but I'm certainly no student," she snorted and rolled her eyes again. "Clearly I'm no student."

"I mean, how was I supposed to know? A gal can hope the students are all sophisticated and well-dressed as you, can't she?" The laugh that erupted out of Ms. Cope had to come from her soul. It shook her, threw her head back, pinked her cheeks. It took minutes for her to calm, but that was fine by Bella. She'd accomplished her usual daily mission of making a pretty lady smile and laugh her ass off.

"Laying it on a tad thick, aren't you?"

"Not nearly thick enough, I'm afraid. Mind if I keep going?"

"I really don't, but you came here for help remember?"

"Ahh to be beautiful and wise..." Ms. Cope might roll those green eyes right out of her sockets if she kept going at this rate. "But you're right of course. I'm Isabella Swan, I need my schedule please?"

"Absolutely! Gimme just a sec..." She turned to the computer - that looked suspiciously like Old Moana... - and click-clacked away at the keyboard, humming lowly. It was printing off in seconds and in her hands.

"Great! Thanks so much, I... oh. Oooh. Oh jeez. Ok, so, is it like, possible to any extent of the educational system, for me to change this?" She gestured to the still warm sheet in one hand, waving it for emphasis.

"Err, I'm not-"

"I just- see I took these classes already. Biology, the maths, that English, the history. And my gym is all wrong, who wants to end the day in sweat when starting strong is so much better!?"

"I don't think-"

"It's just that if I'm going to go to school I do genuinely want to learn, ya know? But how can I do that by repeating courses I've excelled in already? I can't, see. So if I could change my schedule now before I start things and waste anybody's time, I would be eternally grateful."

Ms. Cope was just shy of peeved, was clear in the way she was tapping her nails against the desk, staring hard up at Bella. But Bella had an awful tendency to bull through a conversation when she was passionate about it, even to the point of excluding other people.

She was aware and she was working on it, wasn't that good enough?

And then Cope heaved a sigh,

"Yeah, alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That schedule bit means she won't meet eddy first. In fact she'll meet him last. So. Uhh you can tell how blazikens I am by how this stuff just hops around. I try to go back and transition from one thought and one scene smoothly into the next but I'm forever a stone.
> 
>  
> 
> HEY LISTEN, thanks for checking out this filth that i put out. You look great, are you doing something new with your hair? Awesome, stay sweet sugar babies!


	3. Not so subtle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were worse things than high school gym. Like. Working in a office cubicle. Cleaning up shit from a stranger. 
> 
>  
> 
> Being the history teacher to two disruptive vampires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad foreshadowing? You bet! Dumb vampires?? You fucking know it! Herro prease ladies and gents to another installment of - I'M HIGH WHEN I WRITE THIS SHIT AND NEVER WRITE IT ALL IN ONE SITTING.
> 
> I'm your host, Starr!!!! I'm a garbage can, nice to meet you. You know I'll actually continue a thing if I get at least three chapters into it. Well, you don't know that. And I'm not making promises WHO ARE YOU GET OUT.

She loved gym. Oh, oh my yes she'd actually said that- in fact she _loves_ gym, always and forever. Once she started on her, err, medication and started to eat and do more, one thing she'd found was peace in perspiration. Laying in the sun alongside mum, baking in absolutely more than one sense had given her the few shades of tan that did nothing to hide the body-covering freckles the sun had really been trying to bestow upon her since her birth. Running in the heat had given her strong legs and a love in the rhythm of feet on pavement. Hitting the gym with Phil had toned up her shoulders, her arms, her back...

And all the fatty, greasy, snacky foods she ate gave her the soft belly she was currently making bagels with in the locker room where she was _supposed_ to be getting dressed in her gym clothes. Maybe if she gave a shit what people thought, she'd be dressed and flushed and shying away in the corner by now, hoping nobody had seen her soft stomach. But she didn't. So she was making bagels and laughing like a lunatic. Because a love of sweat and feeling strong hadn't rid her of her love for extremely, supremely bad fat foods.

So what was a little softness? She wouldn't have the abs she might otherwise have that could impress everybody? OooooOOOOH noooo! Whatever would she doooOOOOoo? Seriously fuck that shit. She was so glad natural herb remedies had cured her of her fear of the judgmental eyes of her peers. She might even be in an English she'd already completed if that had still been the case! Thank log.

"Uhh," there was a pretty brunette getting increasingly distracted by her delicious bagels. "You, um, ok?"

"Dude yeah!" She pulled her hands away from her stomach, planting them on her hips instead. "I'm amazing! But most peeps call me Bella. Take your pick, eh?" She was winking like a fiend. The girl was caught off guard but smiled nonetheless. In the way that wondered if she was crazy. (She so was.)

"Right," she intoned. "Sure. So you gonna get dressed or what?"

"I mean eventually, yah," Bella shrugged. Then she was squinting, stepping closer to the girl. "Hey this might sound random but... do'ya ever sing? Miss..."

"Jessica, my name's Jessica. And no, I don't."

"You might try it. I'll bet you've got some killer pipes, girlie girl!"

"I guess?"

"Come on, you've gotta at least sing in the shower, right?"

"Could you maybe put your clothes on?" Bella looked down, noticing she was indeed still missing a shirt. Good thing she always brought extra clothes with her everywhere, otherwise she woulda had to go bra-less for this class. She definitely should start wearing bras more often if she'd have gym most days. No need to scare the sensitive sensibilities of the fine folk of Forks. The generic, gray _Forks Spartans_ shirt the coach had given her was on the bench right next to her, ready to soak up her sweat.

"Do I intimidate you?" She was joking, winking and grinning even as she flexed.

"Are you high?" Jessica had meant it to come out harsher than it actually does. She's, quite unfortunately, half-amused by this and she's trying not to be.

"Oh incredibly high. I'm so stoned I might be Jesus!" People here had impeccable gasping fish impressions, really they did. "Whoops, sorry. Err, I meant that. Jesus would say that I am not without sin?" Was that right?

Meh.

"Are you- wait, do you own a red truck?"

"Fuck yeah and I named her Truly!"

"Holy crap, you're the girl that was smoking this morning!"

"Yeah no. No I wasn't smoking."

"But I saw-"

"That was vaping thank you very much." The look she receives screams that those two are the same thing. So she responds, defensive, "They're different!" but it sounds like she's whining. She might be. But Jessica smiles. It's a tiny smile and she's rolling her eyes so hard - Bella might be pouting now, thinking only, _Why does everyone here roll their eyes at me!?_ \- she might injure her optic nerves, but she's still smiling and a rush of pleased warmth suffuses Bella.

She should make a smoking game over how many pretty girls she can get to smile at her antics. Bong tokes or bowls? Maybe just hits, she doesn't wanna get too crazy...

"Ok, so you, uhh, get high? Isn't that a little dangerous?"

"Actually it's very healthy for your brain! I mean, why should the human brain have CBD receptors if it's not supposed to interact with CBDs? It wouldn't, obviously. But it does, so it should, and who am I to tell my brain no? My brain's pretty smart ya know."

"I meant because of your dad..." She says this like it should be obvious.

"How do you know my dad? Eww, EW, please tell me you're not like, dating him?!"

"What? Gross! No, I meant," she huffs or maybe sighs, only then noticing the huge teasing grin Bella wears. And she swears she doesn't want to, but she grins back. "I meant, he's the Chief of Police?"

"I mean yeah, but it's not illegal here," did it sound weird to mention the prescription? She'd told Jake to be certain, but that was different; she'd known him since he was a wee babby and she wanted to stone with him. And this Jessica girl, pretty as she was (she'd yet to walk away, so double plus!) hadn't really indicated she entirely approved of the marijuanas. It might be best to keep the prescription bit on the DL for now.

"You've got some balls," and the cutie did sound slightly impressed by that, striking a power stance to consider Bella with a tilt to her head and a squinting of her eyes. After a few seconds she seemed to come to a conclusion or decision or some shit. She smiled and extended a hand, "It's nice to meet you Bella, _legal stoner._ I am Jessica, as you know. And I'm the self-appointed gossip queen here."

Bella took her hand, but delicately and carefully, leaning down to breath a kiss over her knuckles, winking,

"Charmed."

* * *

"So Jess," for a warm-up they were running around the gym. Jessica was huffing and puffing and red-faced with the exertion. Bella was keeping a pace to match hers, which was pretty fucking easy to be honest. Most high school students were not in the best of health, Jessica included. "Who's the professional football player?" She was indicating the huge, brutish, colossus that was across the gym from them, in the midst of lapping the rest of the class for the fourth time.

"Bitch," burst from her lips. "I can't... talk... while... RUNNING!"

"Well I told you you should sing with me, but you said NooOOOooo, now didn't you?" An exhausted, breathless groan comes from her completely un-amused partner. "And come'on, Big Poppa's gotta have a name, right? Is it Norman? 'cause that name sucks. He'd make a much better Tiny."

"Hey girl," Bella turned her grin from Jessica onto the mountain of man running quiet as a whisper at her side. She could see him moving, see it very clearly, but he did it _so_ quietly. How the fuck! "You tryna talk shit?"

And when had he caught up? Hmmm...

"So what if I was? Gimme your best shot, wimp!" It was at this time that the coach finally blew her whistle. Jessica's next groan was louder, even more breathless, but full of relief. She practically collapsed in a heap on the floor. "Err, on second thought, fight me after I kiss the girl back to life." She turned to Jessica, waggling her brows and puckering her lips.

"Do it... and... I'll kill you!"

"Awww come on babe, don't tell me you'd rid the world of such supreme hotness as my own!" She chuckled, glancing back at mammoth man who was looking a bit rejected at this point, pouting and petulant. "Excuse her, she doesn't yet know she's madly in love with me, we just need to duet." A strangled sound came from the panting Jessica. Laughter.

"Uh huh," he nodded slowly, looking from Jessica to Bella and back again. Happier to be noticed and acknowledged. He'd been watching the new girl. The way everyone gravitated towards her, whether they realized it or not. He felt the pull himself, and never one to let curiosity kill his cat without satisfaction bringing it back, he'd investigated. It was stronger still to stand next to it.

"So... wanna be friends?" The way she smiled, in fact everything about her demeanor, was incredibly laid back. Even the way she spoke had a certain lilt to it. Like the words were strung together, dripping from her mouth at their own pace, but never stilted.

"Fuck yes! I'm Emmett, by the way," he stuck his hand out for a handshake but Bella slapped it away with surprising force and a dark glare.

"The fuck is that shit?" She growled. Smiling suddenly and swooping in for a hug the probably hurt her more than it squeezed him. "I'm all 'bout that hug life!"

"Hug life chose you, huh?" He squeezed her back, in fact lifting her feet off the floor for a second.

"Umm, Bella?" Jessica's voice was tight, cracking slightly as she spoke the girl's name. Emmett was almost entirely certain it was because of him. He, and really his kind, did have that effect on people. But when he set Bella back on her feet and the both of them turned to face the little human, Jessica wasn't admiring him with big, glossy googly eyes and drool falling from her lips. She was scowling. She was. She was _glaring_ at him. Hell, she grabbed Bella to turn her around, away from him!

"Come on, you're my gym partner." And she smiled, smug as could be over Bella's shoulder aimed right at Emmett, when she said this and started to pull Bella away.

"Only if you'll sing with me," Bella teased as Jessica led them far, far away from him... or as far as the gym allowed at the very least.

"Maybe. If you're good."

"No promises." And then she laughed and it was really just too bad Bella wasn't paying attention or she might have watched Jessica (and most people in their immediate vicinity) swoon a little.

Whoa.

WHOA.

This girl, this Bella. She was something else. How did she do that? No answers were forthcoming, but Bella did crane her head around to wink and mouth the words, _What did I tell ya?_ at him. He wondered, and briefly, if everyone could smell how amazing her scent was and maybe that's what drew them in and made them react like that? Now that he was bothering to take note of the behavior of the sheeple, a lot of the brats in gym were going out of their way to shoot glares in his direction and then look longingly after Bella.

Even more people were going out of their way to shoot glares at Jessica, especially when she linked one of her arms with one of Bella's. Pulling his phone out discreetly, he sent off a quick text to his siblings.

* * *

"Have you seen this?" They had both been alive during whatever human conflict the instructor was droning on about - it was either the Korean or Vietnam wars and she just didn't care enough to glance at the board and check - so there was really no need to pay attention to the lesson. It was like the hundreds of other lessons they'd taken before, and likely to be entirely similar to the thousands more they'd attend in the future. Same shit, hardly a new way to spin it, whatthefuckever anyway.

"Hmm what?" Alice definitely wasn't paying attention. She was über focused on her work, leaning over a notebook page, adding finishing touches to her hyper-realistic drawing of a dickbutt.

"This mass text Em sent to us. You read it yet?"

"Nope. I just knew you'd do it for me!" She spared a moment to throw a wink and winning smile Rosalie's way. Rosalie sneered back but only in jest.

"It reads, and I quote, 'Yo yo bakery bros, thought you should know I found a confectionary treat on two feet y'all just might meet and she's pretty fucking sweet.'" Even reading it and smiling like she was couldn't hide the disbelief in her tone.

"You brought him into this world." Alice told her sagely.

"God I did. Remind me why I did that?"

"Hmm, too soft-hearted, I think," Of course the balls had to be hairy, it just wouldn't be perfect without the pubic hair. "Now if you'll excuse me..."

"INSTRUCTOR!" Alice shot up from her seat, hand raised in the air. The teacher, even in the middle of his lesson, had long since grown used to these kinds of interruptions. So he simply sighed, taking off the spectacles he wore to rub at the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, Miss Cullen?"

"I have something of utmost importance to show you!" she was fierce and determined, striding strong to the front of the classroom, her drawing clutched in her hands. Rosalie had long since dropped her face in her hands. Not really in despair. She was trying not to let everybody else hear her laughing.

"What might that be, Miss Cullen?"

"THIS!" She turned, holding up her drawing for everyone to see, and then presented it to the teacher. He shook his head, sighing.

"You're staying after class, Miss Cullen." Rosalie gave up, just putting her head down on the desk, shaking but with silent laughter. Too low for human ears to hear, she demands,

" _What the actual fuck, Alice!?_ "

" _Trust me, it's necessary!_ "

" _You're the one who insisted we take Home Ec this year, and yet you keep missing it. You'll get removed or some shit at this rate!_ "

" _Don't worry I know what I'm doing._ " She wore a smile full of secrets, the kind that Rosalie never liked. Surprises from the seer were almost exclusively to fuck with her. So Rosalie glared back, whispering harmless threats of severe bodily harm were anything to go awry next block. Alice only smiled in return, giggling to herself. It was all just a big joke apparently. Most things for her were.

Which, really, that was unfair and unkind. So she started making decisions to burn clothes in Alice's closet, imagined dancing around the flames and grunting and singing. She especially focused on this imaginary scene, waiting for the flames to die down so she could rub the ashes on her face and laugh. A glance in Alice's direction showed the tiny seer was fit to burst. Either into tears or into a screaming banshee.

"Fine," she bit out, huffing, crossing her arms. Glaring grumbling growling. Sneering and snarling. She didn't like to have her fun ruined. Oh poo, and now Rosalie felt _SoooOOooOo_ bad. Hah! Little bitch got what she deserved. "New girl's in our next class. Things go better if I'm not there."

Rosalie says noting but her cocked brow and expectant expression demand more information.

"We have an even number of students, newbie makes it odd. If I'm not there she gets paired with us and-"

"That's fucking negligent," Rosalie barks, loud enough to draw attention from the poor, hassled history teacher. He doesn't even glare at her as he stops his lesson, just staring zombie-like at her. Vacant, a little like he wants to break her skull open. Even she had the grace to feel guilty. "Ahh, the military leaders that led these men to their collective deaths by being so negligent as to leave captured territory completely unguarded so that the enemy forces they'd just obliterated could sneak back in."

He keeps staring. Even she can admit it's unnerving. Then he says, "Quite true." Turning back to the rest of the class, "It doesn't help that the atrocities committed by American soldiers against the locals inspired nothing but fear, so-"

" _What is wrong with you! Why, what,_ " she hisses under her breath, whipping her head back to face Alice. " _The living breathing fuck could possibly possess you to make you believe pairing a human with us would be a good idea?_ "

" _That text from Emmett?_ "

"He was talking about the new girl?" Rosalie and her incredulous questions nearly loud enough to draw attention again. Alice's expression dropped.

" _No,_ " she intoned. " _Em finally worked up the courage to approach Lauren Mallory- of COURSE it was about the new girl!_ " Rosalie and Emmett were certainly a pair. Closer in physical age to their 'parents', the both of them could be particularly petulant children about most affairs and simultaneously serious. "Just trust me, you'll like her. I know it."

"Oh yeah?" She cocks her head, eyes narrowing. "Try and make me." Rosalie was one of the few always willing to bet against Alice. 'Cause fuck Alice, she was a cheating cunt.

"Don't have to," she really did hate Alice wearing smug smiles. They looked most unpleasant on her.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Alice only smiled wider.

"Oh ye of little faith, I won't tell you anymore!" If looks could kill Rosie would be a serial murderer. "And don't even think about touching my clothes. I'll smash every car in that garage _except_ the Volvo."

"Cheating slut."

"Attention whore."

"Miss Cullen, Miss Hale?" They should be nicer to Mr. Burns. He was really tired of their bull shit. Poor boy. "Do I need to separate you two or do _you_ ," he was eyeing Rosalie, "Need to stay after class as well?" Alice could NOT smile wider. Rosalie ducked her head.

"No sir!" Alice chirped, knowing Rosalie was staying silent. "We'll be good!" The Burninator snorted, rolling his eyes as he turned back to the board.

" _I'm so fucking sure,_ " he grumbled under his breath, only sighing when he heard Alice laugh. At least she _tried_ to cover it up with a cough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, seriously thanks for checking this out. It's ridiculous and dumb and silly but to be honest I'm tired af and life is heavy ya know? just wanted to make something that'd make me roll my eyes and laugh.
> 
>  Ok so I don't even low-key love Anna Kendrick. I practically worship her. She's itty-bitty but she got the most soulful big girl voice. I fucking noticed her in the movie, THINK I WOULDN'T?! So yeah, all the questions about, Whoa Jessica do you sing?, are in fact alluding to Miss Kendrick.
> 
>  
> 
> ANYwho, hope y'all enjoyed it, stay beautiful star babies!


	4. Hot people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ya know what sucks? Making a total fuck of yourself to get a hot people to notice you. Hot person? People? Celestial beings descended from on high to cream the underwear of unsuspecting youths?
> 
> Meh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> News - most of this was written while I was drinking throughout the past four days.
> 
> Also what are you doing here? Didn't I tell you not to read this? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE

The Home Ec teacher was a lovely red head that looked entirely too tired and fed up with her career choice. She smiled as the students filed in, she called delicately scolding reminders of projects coming up, she knew them all by name and called them out on any shit they were doing that they shouldn't be. And the bruise-colored flesh just beneath her eyes attested to long sleepless nights. The kind Bella understood all too well.

There was a time when her favorite joke to make had been, "Sleep, who sleeps? Sleep is for the weak!"

Because finding the strength to admit when you're feeling weak isn't always easy or fun.

So she did feel a dash of concern. A dash that tugged at her mouth, pulling a frown into place where her usually smirky-smirk grin should go. It was irrational, of course, to feel so much for a stranger but. Damnit, she did! Probably still high from early.

No.

No wait...

...

Yup, _definitely_ still high from early. Higher, if anything. A light attempt to get her blood pumping and snagging a number from the pretty brunette that'd been her gym partner - Jessica was such a basic bitch name but, and this would sound absolutely terrible, she was cute and deliciously short so the severe-alkaline-level of bitch issue was not _even_ an issue - had helped that high run wild through her body and warm her to the tips of her hair.

She could fucking taste purple right now, it was no wonder she was so struck by that exhausted but decidedly warm smile aimed her way as she finally moved outta the doorway. She'd been getting strange looks from people shuffling in but fuck 'em. They were a bunch of wussy ass high school kids, the fuck were they gonna do, bully her? Shit, she wish a mother fucker would.

Daddy was a cop and step daddy was an athlete. She'd well and learned how to defend herself.

"Helloooo beautiful teacher lady!" Bella crowed, jumping just slightly as she came to a stop before the woman. "And, forgive me for being so annoyingly bright, but on this beautiful sunny day I must say it is quite simply, absitively posolutely wonderful to meet you!" The woman stuttered, sputtered, laughed and shook her head.

"My goodness well I wouldn't call it a sunny day, but you're certainly trying your best to make it so!" She laughed again at Bella's unnecessarily exuberant nodding, grin comically wide practically splitting her face in two. "But who, exactly, are you?"

"Why," she took a step back, fluttering a hand to rest over her heart, exclaiming, "I am the most illustrious Bella of clan Swan!" Now she gestured grandly with the same hand she'd lain over her heart, continuing, "And you, fine lady, are to be my instructor from this day forth! I can only beg of you to be kindly in putting up with all of my unnecessary dramatics."

"Right ok. Sure. So. Care to tell _what_ are you on?"

"Gettin' real sick of these finely worded accusations from everybody..." Bella grumbled crossly, shoulders hunching as she stuffed her hands into her pockets and kicked a foot at the linoleum. "Maybe I'm a good girl that's not on anything illegal!"

"Yeah sure," Bella stuck her tongue out then, pouting when all it earned her was laughter. In the stoner part of her brain she notes that's another pretty lady bong toke to take. "Right, well Bella, you joined our class at kinda a bad time. See everyone's already paired up and..." She trails off, staring at a spot over Bella's shoulder.

A quick twist of her head shows Bella an empty table. She swivels her head back around, tempted to snap her fingers in front of her teacher's face. Instead she prompts,

"And?"

"Ah, my apologies I was just struck with genius," she grinned and clapped once, starting, "So! I have a pair of students that can hardly ever seem to both be here at once. I'm going to shove you off on them."

"Miss Teacher Ma'am, that hardly sounds fair if they're not prone to showing up."

"Amelia Walters, well, Mrs. Walters to you but I digress. That's where the genius happens; if they have another partner, one outside of the family, it'll guilt them into showing up so they won't ruin your GPA!"

"And if that doesn't happen?"

"Then I'm terribly sorry, I've made a huge mistake and I'll, I dunno, I'll buy you a muffin?"

"This all sounds terribly risky," she scratches at the side of her head, just beneath the band of her hat. Looking down, she hums and haws and scuffs the toe of a sneak against the linoleum again. And then looking up through her lashes, "What _kind_ of muffin?"

* * *

She stops just outside of the room. Nearly late, thanks to a very stern talking-to courtesy of Burns; but even so, time ticking audibly away on the clock Walters refuses to update to a digital just inside the classroom, she stops and stands in the hallway. The door has a small rectangular window, cross-hatched metal wiring interrupting the thick glass, and through this she watches.

There's a girl at her table. _The_ girl, really. The one she's bound and determined to despise. There's a dullness to her eyes as she holds her head up in one hand, a hat pulled low over her eyes, shadowing her face. She's. She's just...

She's really fucking mundane, considering all the hype.

" _BELLA!_ " Walters pegs the girl - Bella, apparently - with a marker, startling life back into her. " _It's been thirty seconds, take the hat off I should NOT have to keep repeating myself._ "

" _You didn't say I had to keep it off, just to take it off!"_ And then she grins, sweeping aside her curtain of hair to pop out an earbud so she can better communicate with their instructor. Rosalie scoffs, not recognizing the artist but easily discerning the music to be loud rap. Seriously? Mundane and tasteless?

" _Be a dear and retrieve that marker so I can bounce it off your thick skull again?_ "

" _Aww you don't mean that!_ "

" _I just don't want to throw all my markers,_ " even as she says this, another throw ricochetes off of Bella's butt, out of her seat and bent over to retrieve the requested marker. " _Whoops. Oh darn. Get that one too while you're at it?_ "

" _What was that for?_ " Bella grumbles, pouting and rubbing at her poor abused bottom. Though it didn't hurt physically, her pride was damaged and that mattered too.

" _For the headphones. I warned you. It's the last time I'll be doing so._ "

" _I need my daily dose of trap, ma'am,_ " she sounds incredibly serious and Rosalie rolls her eyes, scoffing again but louder. Having had enough observing, she opens the door stepping into the classroom as Bella delivers the markers back to Mrs. Walters. The class quiets as it tends to do when she initially enters and she scans them all, offering glares and scowls and challenging cocked brows to dissuade the stares they can't honestly help. She ends it all by visibly, obviously sizing up the gaping girl standing frozen in front of the instructor.

And she sneers because she's fucking pissed that this girl with the slack jaw and dilated eyes sizing her up in return smells fucking amazing. She's fresh from gym and human stench not her own clings to her skin but even that can't hide the smell beneath. It's God damn infuriating. She smells so good it hurts. Not her throat or her teeth. More like a bone deep ache. A throbbing, thriving emptiness that cries to be filled.

She wants to throw the girl up against the nearest wall and bury her face in that neck and partake, but not of blood. Just. Just take in the musk of the girl's sweat and the perfume of her warm skin.

This is fucking bull shit. No. More than that. This is fucking _cheating_. And Alice was to blame. Fuck the cars, she was burning Alice's clothes for certain.

"Rosalie! So good to see you, I was almost afraid it'd be another day without you or your sister!" Walters gives up on trying to pry the markers from Bella's clenched fist, stepping around the girl instead to speak with the modelesque blonde. "This here is Bella Swan, she'll be your new partner!" Alarm pushed the scowl off her face, bringing her attention to the instructor.

"What about Alice?"

"Oh forgive me for not elaborating - she's going to make your company a crowd. Let Alice know you've both got a new buddy!"

 _Buddy_ , she says. As if this will reach outside of the classroom. And hadn't she been warned? She shouldn't be so angry as she still is. She shouldn't be getting angrier just thinking about it. Her control is so much finer than this. She bites out,

"Oh, ok." And turns, striding stiffly to her table. Bella makes it over with some convincing and a gentle guiding hand on her back, still mooning. Out of the corner of her eye, Rosalie watches the girl fidget in her seat. Pink appears high on her cheekbones. A flush slowly creeping over her face. She's biting her lip so hard she might break skin soon. Never mind the weird faces she's making or the low hum of discomfort(?). Finally, Rosalie turns to her and hisses, "What's your problem?"

"I've never seen someone even half as gorgeous as you and I'm kinda freaking out," Bella admits in a rush, pulling her hat from her head and running a hand through her hair. A wave of her scent nearly bowls Rosalie over. "I'm usually pretty good at this. I find a beautiful person, I tell them they're beautiful, make some dumb jokes. But you? Jesus Christmas Tree Mouse, I don't think beautiful cuts it. Damnit, I don't think gorgeous cuts it. You've stolen my words, I'll let you keep my heart, but I'll need those words back."

It does take her brain a full second to process the line for what it is, and that flush still colors Bella's face but she's grinning when Rosalie fully turns to face her, expression unreadable. She even winks. As if that should help smooth that line over. Rosalie snorts, turning her cheek. The girl beside her giggles almost uncontrollably, and finally does she take the time to turn off the music that'd been thumping from the dangling ear buds, stuffing the buds into her shirt.

"That was nearly a laugh! Bet I can squeeze a chortle out of you!"

"A chortle?" She's sneering, staring incredulous from the corner of her eye at the grinning brunette, chin in her hand again, leaning way too close for comfort.

"Or a guffaw. Perhaps I'll have you sick and tittering away like a little old lady!"

Mundane wasn't quite correct anymore. God damn annoying was better.

"Can you not jeopardize my grade?" The biting request falls flat; Walters isn't even doing anything, she's gone in fact. She'd had to run out to get something. She'd muttered about copies and budgets, sighing dramatically as she ducked out the door, so Rosalie was safe to fully turn her body to face the girl again.

"I'd like to ask the same thing!"

"Excuse me?"

"You and your, sister was it? Apparently you two skip so much I'm your tie to this classroom now. So. Hi, just call me the old ball and chain," she clicked her tongue, winking and smiling her most winning smile. Shooting finger guns even as Rosalie's brows crawled nearly up to her hairline.

"Is there something wrong with you? Am-am I not thoroughly expressing I couldn't give a shit about you? I don't CARE if you fail!"

"Hmm," that winning smile wilted, crumbled. A pensive look painted her features. The look cleared rather shortly, a grin falling back into place though it was decidedly gentler than any of the previous grins she'd fixed upon Rosalie. "The feeling is mutual."

What.

"I don't really give a shit about me either," Bella laughs. Rosalie can't tell if the laugh is bitter or not but it certainly leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. Some part of her, a rather unfortunately prevalent part of her, feels for this girl only in this moment of eternity. "And for that matter, you really _should_ care about my grade, since it is tied to yours an' all." Now her grin is closer to the previous ones, a little too bright to be comfortable.

Rosalie just sighs, shrugging off the discomfort, ignoring the part of her that's too damn curious for its own good. Mother and Father Figures would be quite displeased were she to ruin one of her grades over something so simple as a girl that smells nice and apparently feels too much.

"I won't let you fail," she grumbles loud enough for Bella to hear. The girl had finally found the strength to stop grinning at her and had turned to a notebook full of doodles instead. She _did_ almost laugh when she saw a dickbutt. Alice would be terribly fond of the girl. "But!" Seeing the shining excitement as Bella turned to her, ready to try playing friendly again, Rosalie was quick to murder that excitement. "I'm not doing it for you. My parents would be upset were I to fail."

"Whatever you say, Sweets," Bella grinned, winking when the name earned her a fierce glare. And that was another thing why was she not cowering beneath Rosalie's ire!? "I just know we'll be fast friends yet!"

"There _must_ be something wrong with you."

"Mhmm!" She nodded her head, flipping to a new page in the notebook. A smile pulled at her mouth and she let it free as she began sketching a pair of eyes. Glancing at Rosalie she told her, and warmly, "There's absolutely something wrong with me but you know? There's something wrong with you too."

She tensed, unnecessary breath catching in her lungs. There was no way she knew. There was _no way._

"There's something wrong with all us, ya know? That's just human. What defines us isn't the wrong with us or the wrongs done unto us, it's how we strive to grow past those wrongs. It's finding the strength to carry us to our rights that show who we really are."

* * *

There were WAY too many pretty people here. Why was a town this small crawling with attractive people? Weren't there rules about shit like that? It wasn't fair, she'd spent the better part of an hour making a complete ass of herself trying to get that breath-taking blonde to do more than glare at her. All she'd ever managed was a startled look when Bella showed her a sketch.

A sketch of her. She'd started on the eyes and filled in the rest as the class had gone on. She'd drawn a picture of Rosalie smiling, handing it over with a hesitant grin. She'd told her,

" _It'll look like that. Think you can manage?_ " And after the shock had warn off she'd gotten the fiercest look. Somewhere between astonished and pissed. And then she'd felt bad because she kept harping on it and maybe Rosalie had had a terrible day, ya know? It was kinda dick-ish to beat a dying horse to death so after that last attempt she'd continued to be her usual polite and charming self but hadn't begged for smiles.

She had forced herself to relax, though she wasn't sure if she'd succeeded. She hadn't even paid attention to the lesson - which was about either taxes or writing checks - so she felt like an even bigger ass than she'd made of herself. She'd missed a whole lesson, mooning and swooning over a pretty girl. She was too old to be acting like a hormonal almost-eighteen-year-old.

...

Or maybe she was exactly old enough to be acting that way, but it was frustrating regardless. She'd had to sneak out to her truck for a quick toke break once the bell had rung, had nearly run Rosalie over in her rush. Seriously that girl had a glare that could melt steel beams. Bella was only lucky she'd had to deal with some shady fucking people in her time otherwise those harmless dagger-eyes just may have maimed her.

She was also lucky this school wasn't big enough for an SRO-rent-a-cop person or she might be in trouble for "skipping" lunch. She definitely wasn't skipping lunch, just making room in her tum for some plentiful amount of vittles. And trying to calm her heart so she could better handle hot people. She had a terrible feeling she'd be dealing with at least a handful of them.

So she vaped like the garbage can she was until she was nice and toasted as fuck then stumbled her way, grinning and giggling, all the way to the cafeteria. There was a back entrance that looped through a choice courtyard, and it was this particular entrance she kicked open with a shout of,

"SPARTA!" It earned her plenty of stares. She met them all with a wave and grin. Until her eyes fell on the table. _That_ table. The one where her love sat, surrounded by people. But she wasn't concerned about them. How could she be when she had eyes only for the girl smiling at something the young man next to her said, laughing at another few words from the pretty gal sitting on her other side.

So, puffing up her chest with a deep intake of breath, she let it out with a loud, piercing eagle-screech. It drew the attention of her love, whom she called to with another screech and a great cry of,

"JESSICA!"

She sprinted across the cafeteria, swerving around students and chairs, leaping over bookbags and one kid that was bent over chasing after some change - that maneuver in particular made her feel like an Olympic athlete - to come to a stop at the table of wide-eyed teenagers and Jessica who was holding her head. After utter silence continued to reign Jessica sighed, glancing at all of her slack-jawed friends.

"Everybody, this is Bella. Bella, meet everybody," she waved vaguely between the two parties, glaring at Bella but not nearly so harsh as the glares she'd been subject to just last block.

"Everybody it's wonderful to meet you I'm sure you'll introduce yourselves- Jess what about that duet you promised me?"

"Oh uhn-uh, I promised nothing. My two stipulations were _maybe_ and _if you were good_. Emphasis on the maybe, thank you," and this felt much better. It felt right. Jessica was already wearing an unwilling but fond smile as Bella hammed it up, huffing and puffing and swinging her fists all while she whined,

"No faaaair I was on my best behavior. I didn't even spank you when you bent over in front of me! I'll have you know that took quite a lot of effort!" Jessica's gaggle of peeps burst into laughter. Err, the male half did. The ladies were busy being fish gaping at her brutal honesty.

"Jessica," the girl who spoke was blonde, and if possible, seemed the most basic bitch in the whole cafeteria. The problem was Bella had an insatiable appetite for bitches regardless of the level of pH they were. "Exactly what did you get up to in gym today?"

"Hot, sweaty, breathless action, baby girl," Bella leaned forward, winking at the bottle blonde. "Next time you should join us." Barbie rolled her eyes. "Hey, if me and Jess are simply too much to handle I can always shove you off on Tiny the linebacker." Bella shrugged, even as she was grinning and winking. Jessica scowled heavily. Not that it got her much attention. At least, not until she audibly scoffed.

"You should stay away from them," Jessica warned. "The Cullen's are no good. Trust me."

"Say what now?"

"The Cullen's? As in, Emmett Cullen?"

"Please call him by his proper name." Bella begged, right back to whining but also managing to sound quite serious. Jessica sighed. Shook her head. Scowled again and immediately smiled afterward,

"Tiny Cullen?"

"Thank," Bella grinned again. Then frowned. "Wait. Stay away from Tiny," under her breath, " _and co._ " Her frown soured into a rather grossly serious scowl. "The fuck is that about?" Everybody was looking over her shoulder, all grave and somber. She twisted around, searching for whatever had everyone's attention. Finding nothing. "I don't-"

And then she caught the frantic, excited waving from a table pushed back from the rest of the cafeteria. Easy to overlook, even despite how beautiful all the people sitting there were. Tiny, waving and grinning, was next to a blonde man that looked like he could use a creamy bong toke, or like, every bottle of Advil ever created. Blondie was in front of some scowling brunette that could really use a hairbrush - Bella fondly remembers the week she didn't brush her hair, just a few months ago in fact - and both Blondie and Brunettie would have looked fucking hot in a dress.

But, it was the two ladies at the table that caught her eye. One being the illustrious Rosalie, bitch extraordinaire. The other being a tiny little waif of a person, with short dark hair spiking about her face and a smile aimed right at her. She was almost absolutely certain that her entire body was flushed cuz. Shit, she had an insatiable appetite for bitches but tiny cuties made her lose all sense of self. Maybe that's why she looked back at Emmett, took a deep breath and bellowed,

"HEY MISTER ARE THOSE YOUR SISTERS!?"

The cafeteria went deathly silent. Emmett looked panicked for half a second when everyone turned their attention on him, the hand he was waving with dropping to his lap. He cleared his throat, she could hear that much in the pin-drop silence.

"Yea," he called back. Bella hummed, spinning on her heel, leaning against the table. Serious mode activate. She was shooting for casual, picking ash out from under her nails as she asked,

"Who's the cinnamon bun next to Rosalie?"

"That's Alice she's-"

"How do you know Rosalie?" Jessica cut off Barbie, earning a nasty look from the faux-blonde.

"Had class with her. She fucking hates me but damn does she look fine doing it," she left out the fact Rosalie was kinda a total icy bitch the whole time. That could be taken as less than a compliment but really it was a huge part of what had her swooning.

"Whatever," Jessica was looking seriously offended though. Which was worrisome. Bella was kinda hoping for a karaoke date in the near future and this bitterness could very well ruin that. "Just, if you know what's good for you, stay away from _them_."

It really was too bad that Bella was so brutally honest,

"Shit," she clicked get tongue. "If ya tryna warn me to stay away cuz Tiny will kick my ass if I flirt with 'em, I'll have you know I'm one hundred percent in my belief that I can wreck his shit. But if ya warnin' me not to try an' date one, you don't have to date 'em to appreciate 'em. And gril, I appreciate the fuck outta _all_ of that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for serious though thanks for dropping by. I'm at work and i snuck away to finish this and edit it to a minimal degree. Let me know if I suck. 
> 
>  
> 
> Just kidding I KNOW I totally suck
> 
>  
> 
> Stay beautiful star babies!


	5. Not too serious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things try to be serious but not really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making ghost noises as I say - MOAR BAD FORESHADOWING.
> 
> Straight up, I based most of those teachers on the instructors of my youth. God rest her soul... my youth I mean. I murdered it with adulthood.
> 
>  
> 
> And I cannot stress this enough, I told you not to read who ARE you people I'm going to call the police soon.

Alice had been having visions of Bella Swan for a little over a year now. The very first had been a peek into a part of Bella's life that few knew of. And of the old friends from Phoenix Bella would one day open up about, only one of them had found out. But only because Bella had thought she was suffering from schizophrenia for a month and had needed to confide in someone.

She felt guilty knowing it. It wasn't knowledge she had earned, and she hadn't wanted it didn't _ask_ for it. It was one of those powerful visions that'd stopped her dead for half a minute. Rare indeed to be so intense. Even as it had been utterly simple and not immediately life-changing.

But that instance she'd witnessed, it _had_ changed the course of her life. It was the first of many instances that'd pushed Bella to leave Phoenix and settle down in their sleepy little rain covered town. And here she was now, minutes, seconds, away from actually getting to meet and greet her. She'd intentionally pissed off the Burninator to give Rosie some alone time with the odd little human, knowing she herself would be entirely too excited to befriend and that would have just ruined any chances of Bella appealing to Rose for many moons.

And that scene Bella caused during lunch had nearly convinced her to go and befriend the human right then and there but still she had persisted and resisted. Mostly due to the ferocious glare from Rosie and the calm from Jazzy. But now nothing stood in her way from the girl that'd called her 'cinnamon bun'.

Humans were so fucking precious and this one promised to be especially so. Just, just fucking look at her with her pokemon hat pulled backwards, toeing the floor with the tip of a sneaker while their art teacher - hired just a month ago, and temporarily, while the usual one was healing from a pretty gruesome car accident - prattled on about the sketches Bella had in her notebook. She was flushed and biting her lip to keep a dopey grin off her face.

Bella Swan wasn't cherished enough. She was the boldest person in any room until you acknowledged how gifted she was and then she was laughing and waving it off. She wasn't terribly serious and struggled to take things seriously except in the comfort and privacy of her own room. Alice knew. She'd seen these things she _knew_.

Bella's heart was fluttering away in her chest like a hummingbird. She loved the praise, even as she pulled her swinging hands behind her back and she managed to tame her want to grin, she still couldn't meet Susan's eyes, her ears pinked and her face was turning redder. But finally, _finally_ Susie took pity on the girl and pointed Bella her way. Alice was entirely certain her grin could power Vegas for a week.

It was time.

She turned away from them before either could notice her staring, pulling out a sketch pad and a pencil. Busying herself with their daily warm-up so she wouldn't seem so desperate and creepy. Bella wouldn't hate her for it but she wouldn't know how to feel and would be more cautious in her approach. Bella liked to think that she had to work to get people to like her, as though who she presented herself to be was this terrible unlikable monstrosity.

That made Alice sad. Horribly sad. But she didn't have to worry about that for too long. A hand came into her immediate vision and she followed it to its source. A grim-faced Bella with ears still quite pink. Alice allowed one of her brows to crawl upwards.

"Ma'am, I'm Bella Swan. I wish to tell you that you are the most adorable cinnamon bun( _Hah! She'd said it again!_ ) I've ever seen in my whole life," Alice's grin could power Vegas indefinitely. The sight of it made Bella grin in return. Soft and shy. "Also you're beautiful and I'd kinda like to be your friend."

"Only because I'm beautiful?"

"Mostly because you have a beautiful smile and I'd kick myself if I did anything to miss out on such a joyous sight to lift my soul."

"Such as not befriending me?"

"Oh precisely. So," she shifted her still outstretched hand. "Care to shake on it?"

"I'd really prefer a hug," Bella literally threw her body across the table, wrapping her arms around Alice's neck. Alice froze, nose pressed full flush against Bella's throat. Bella froze, her face in the (tasteful amount of) cleavage left by Alice's stunning top. Neither moved for a short eternity until Bella whispered,

"In my head this played out so much better." Alice laughed, raising a hand to pat one of her shoulders.

"Oh honey I know the feeling," Bella released her, slithering back enough to put her feet to the floor. She cradled her face between her hands, elbows, and upper body for that matter, still on the table. Alice laughed, copying the pose, but without standing from her chair. Tried to fight her grin. Failed. "So-"

"Why as a matter of fact I planned on coming here quite often," Bella cut in. Clicking her tongue. Winking. Finger guns a-shootin'. Alice stares, fixing her most unimpressed look upon her face.

"Are those your only flirty moves?"

"The other ones are really inappropriate and sexual, so for the moment yes," more tongue clicking and finger guns. Alice finally allowed herself the chance to be overcome by this girl and laugh. From the very depths of her soul she adored this human.

"Why don't you take a seat, ya goof," Alice nodded to the stiff plastic-ish torture contraption beside her own. Bella hummed, considering the option. Straightening up. Stroking her chin. Humming louder. "Is it that hard of a decision?"

"I mean I kinda liked laying across the table..."

"I dunno how Susie's going to feel about that."

"Thought her name was Susan?" Bella was slowly making her way (downtown, walking fast, faces pass and she's chair bound) around the table. Stopping behind her chair and waiting for Alice to speak. She was still stroking her chin, but then she'd drag her hand through the air like- what _was_ she doing?

"It is," Alice told her, face morphing from amused to concerned. "What are you doing?"

"Ever seen Kill Bill?" She was lowering herself into the seat now, but slowly. Ever so slowly. Alice stared. "I _swear_ this has to do with your question."

"Yeah I've seen it," Most people have, to be fair. But she could understand that 'sweet, delicate her' wouldn't seem the type to love over-the-top but nonetheless amazing kung fu movies.

"I'm Pai Mei-ing right now. Stroking my kung fu beard to help me think."

What the fuck. What even- why even- _how_ even does she exist!?

"Umm, ok," Alice said slowly, watching the grinning brunette carefully. "You're doing it wrong. Pai Mei throws his beard he doesn't just stroke it." Bella's eyes light up. They sparkle they gleam- _i_ _s she getting teary-eyed right now?_

"You," Bella breathed, abandoning the stroking of her chin to clasp her hands together beneath it. Voice cracking, "You get my movie references! Is it me you're looking for?"

Alice, trusting her instincts, checked a few paths of fate and future, finding what she ultimately deemed not only the correct answer, but the best answer. At least, it got the craziest reaction out of the human. Smiling, coy as she could, she leaned closer, brushing an errant lock of hair behind her ear and looking up through her lashes,

"I don't think so."

* * *

This was it. This was how she died. It was here in the frigid Forks High art room, smelling faintly of ink and paper and paint, that she would make her peace with the world and fade away. A shade, a shadow, a spirit to wander the paths of this damned planet. Her heart was gone, gone forever. Her brain had crumbled into dust, much like the rest of her flesh. She was but dirt and ash.

She was madly in love with the cutest little button she'd ever met in her life. Her heart had been stolen and thusly was it that she did and currently was fading away. This fucking babe had just made an obscure reference to her concerning a most underrated movie. Clearly they were meant to be. She fell out of her seat, onto the floor. She began bowing and muttering,

"I am not worthy," while the girl - teenager? Young woman? (Alice, her name was Alice!) - laughed and tried to convince her that, yes, she was worthy. And she was going to ruin or dirty one of the very few pairs of jeans she had if she kept on the floor for much longer. It was only Susan - Susie? - catching her that convinced her to crawl back into her seat. And then she found herself struggling with the same urge Sweets had inspired.

Trying not to stare or drool while she began the arduous task of finding ways to make herself look more of a fool than she naturally was. Because she wanted to hear Alice laugh all day. She wanted that joy with her.

"It's really too bad you're so tall," Bella sighed, eyeing her wistfully. A flash of irritation in eyes so gold (and that's another thing! What the living breathing actual fuck with the gold eyes!?)was quickly replaced by dull resignation as Alice waited for what should inevitably be another short joke. "If you were just a little smaller, I could put you on top of a cupcake and you'd be my tiny cupcake princess."

It was clear from her expression that Alice had not expected the sincerity of her statement. Bella was being utterly serious; she could just see it- Alice posed in a ballet move on top of a butter-yellow mound of frosting. Sprinkles had to be garish pink. It would be so perfect.

"Holy shit, you really mean that," Alice was met with a scoff, a huff, and finally a growl of displeasure.

"Uhm der I mean it! You're absolutely fucking precious! Like, like a real life Thumbalina 'cept you're still big enough for fun stuff," if she was anymore excited she'd be bouncing in her seat. She was already starting to wiggle.

"Fun stuff?"

"Yeah! Fun adult stuff, like drinking and smoking and fuckin' around with other peoples genitals!" Alice burst into laughter so loud even lenient, mild-mannered Susan shot them a pretty nasty disapproving glare. Ducking her head, pink as could be, Bella attempted to be a good little student, "Welp, I s'pose we should get to the assignment, yeah?"

"Yeah," Alice was calming, the laughter quieting into the sweetest little giggles Bella had heard in years. "Yeah sounds good, dork."

She pouted. That is to say, she really did _try_ to pout. She tried her hardest and she was rewarded with more laughter, though this round was significantly quieter than the last. Then it took everything in her to bite back a goofy grin. This whole family was fucking cute as shit. God it was so good that this one was nice. And cue the frowns...

She'd really liked Rosalie. That whole standoffish shtick was like a balm for her aching soul, so familiar. Like still being in Phoenix. Except all the familiarity ended at the Bitch 'Tude. This wasn't Phoenix, she'd only ever visit that place again. She'd not... She wouldn't see _her_ bitch. And even if she did things wouldn't ever be the same...

Ah, err, but that was fine! She was fine with that and it didn't hurt to think about. She was happy to be here reconnecting with pops. Making friends with lovely people.

"Hey," She blinked back into focus, smiling at Alice as bright as she could. Ignoring the concern in those eyes because they weren't even close like that (whoops, somebody's a hypocrite aren't they?). "Where'd you go?" She shrugged, her grin tight but still incredibly present.

Alice was cute. Her whole damn family was cute. But cute did not beget such raw honesty so soon. She grabbed her notebook - she'd explained to Susan that she had filled her last sketch pad and was using this notebook until she got her hands on another - and flipped it open. Leafing through the pages for a fresh sheet.

"I'll go first, yeah?" She didn't wait for an answer.

* * *

"Holy fuck," she bit out after furiously fast-walking the fuck out of dodge. She pulled her hat around to shadow her face, yanking it down especially unnecessarily to practically cover her eyes. Who needs to blink anyway? God, fucking. Gravy whore bath, what the fuck was wrong with her!? She was acting God damn bipolar!

She needed to stop thinking about Phoenix like a love sick puppy, this was getting ridiculous. Whatever! Fuck it fuck everything what did it matter what she left behind she was gonna go crazy if she kept letting it butt into her life and upset her. So she wasn't going to let it. She wasn't going to worry. She wasn't going to cry and moan and scream.

She was going to go to her last class and love it and maybe bother dad after school for Billy Black's number so she could start being a terrible influence on young Jacob. Starting with his taste in music. If it wasn't trash she was going to make it so. Because she was just nice like that. And so she wasn't entirely calm, but she was trying to be she really was. Happy thoughts about blunts n such.

Plans for hiking and picnics on days that weren't entirely awful. And more blunts and joints with Jacob. Maybe a date with Jessica here and there... She was calm. She was chill and cool and collected and what the fucking FUCK-

"Oh you've got to be kidding me," she stopped dead in the doorway of her last class of the day - a Speech and Debate course that'd seemed like it would be fun - because here was another one. Another beautiful being. It was pretty boy Blondie that would look yumtastic in a dress. She had stopped listening when what's-her-bitch (wow, her name's Lauren, fucking der) when she'd gone on about the rest of the err... cal-Calvin's? Clemson's?

Shit.

Shit fuck.

Coleman!

No that wasn't right.

"U-uhm." There was a presence at her back. A few of them in fact. Oh. Oh shit she was still standing in the doorway. She should really stop doing that. She ducked her head, muttering an apology as she stepped outta the way.

"Hey you," there was a pleasantly plump woman with the softest smile and curling locks of chocolatey brown hair framing her friendly face coming through the wave of students that'd been stopped in the doorway. The anxiety that crawled in upon sighting another - Clarence? Cohen's? Cameron's? - golden eyed model fled in the presence of this woman. "Tell me you're a new student?"

She fixed her best grin into place, nodding and giving two big unnecessary thumbs up.

"You got it in one!" She laughed. The teacher(?) hissed out a pleased _Yes_ that brought another bright laugh out of her.

"That's quite excellent you see my class is unfortunately small," Bella had the most uncomfortable feeling like this was about to take a turn as she continued, "We've an odd number of students and it's been driving me crazy." Worse feeling. Significantly worse and worsening. "So if you don't mind, I'll be pairing you up with-"

No. No. No. NO.

"-Eric Yorkie."

THIS COULD NOT-... wait what. Oh. Oooh. OH. Oh fuck the Hell yes. She felt hot, she felt woozy. She was soon to be overcome with a serious case of yellow fever. She'd met that little Asian cutie during lunch and mmm-Mmmm-MM he was a precious babby that needed some spoiling. He was too shy to hit on her like his buddies Mike and Tyler had, instead offering her assistance through the most adorable blush and stutter. So with a salute to the teacher, she bounded her way over to his table.

"Well helloooo nurse! Care to check me out?" Tongue clicking was possibly the most powerful weapon in her arsenal of flirt. No one could ever take it seriously because it wasn't meant to be. It was meant to catch one off guard, make them laugh. Show that despite being the smoothest of operators, she was ultimately just trying to entertain.

She was funny and friendly and (lonely God she's desperately lonely please be her friend she can't stand the silence she hears things in the silence) and she smoked mad fucking weed. The kids were into weed right? She wasn't- She-she didn't have a problem she was just fun. It was all in good fun and she'd share, boy howdy would she share if just. Given that _chance_ , all she needed was the chance.

"Bella!" His face flushed that lovely shade of red from the cafeteria. It took every ounce of her strength to not fucking coo at him. But despite the almost indomitable urge, she was able to resist. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know," she shrugged. "Rebuilding a small block engine." Awww this fucking kid right here. "Oi Oi, I'm just joshin' ya my dude! I'm here cuz boss lady teacher says we're partners!"

"My name is Mrs. Evans..." Bella whirled around to face the still smiling brunette with an arm-full of worksheets. Seriously? Worksheets? "Oh don't give me that look!"

"But come on! _Worksheets!?_ "

"It's either work in class or taking work home." Damn. This lady was smart. And then she laughed marvelously at the no-doubt constipated look of frustration that realization etched upon Bella's features. When Bella took her seat, sullen and grumbling, Mrs. Evans finally passed them a sheet, pausing long enough to admire Bella's petulant scowl

"Schadenfreude," Bella grumbled to Eric(smiling maybe a little too fondly at her. Such a sweet thing he was. She was going to ruin him as thoroughly as Jacob). His face pinched at the utterance.

"Uh...?"

"It means 'harm-joy'," Mrs. Evans had the ears of a... not hawk, that was an eye thing. Err, rabbit? Pushing papers into the unwilling hands of other groaning students closer by, she continued, "It refers to deriving pleasure from the misfortune of others." Bella couldn't decide if she was happy someone had understood her or upset that only the teacher had.

"What is that, your word of the day calendar speaking for you?"

Definitely unhappy. She stuck her tongue out in response, blowing the MOST adult raspberry at the entirely too entertained brunette. This earned her grins from her classmates and delighted laughter from the teacher. And then in a startling bout of re-revenging Mrs. Evans stole her hat as she passed back by on her way to the desk.

"Hey!" She burst out of her chair, one hand reflexively grabbing the edge of the seat before her momentum could up-end it, swiping vainly for her hat even as Mrs. Evans danced out of the way and pulled it onto her own head. She glared as mean as she dared, settling slowly back into her seat when Mrs. Evans just gave her _the_ look. Bold as could be, she wasn't stupid.

...

Well. Maybe a _little_ stupid.

"So I'll strike you a deal," Mrs. Evans took pity on her. Or maybe she didn't want to be glared at all block? "If you'll stand up here and introduce yourself, I'll give the hat back."

There was no stopping the chair from hitting the floor this time. She stood, it slammed against the linoleum, and then everything went quiet. Laughing sheepishly, she bent and grabbed a leg, pulling the chair up and leaning it against a shoulder as she squeezed out of the aisles and made her way to the front of the class. She settled the chair carefully upon its feet right in front of Mrs. Evans desk, planting one foot on the seat. She braced an elbow against her knee, sweeping her gaze over the classroom for a second before she threw her head back and bellowed,

"Err'body listen up!" The arm not braced against her leg whips out, pointing towards the back. "I'm talking to you, Cindy! Is your name Cindy? IT IS NOW!" Mrs. Evans had turned her back on the proceedings, clapping a hand over her mouth to keep snorting laughter at bay. "If everyone is done _yapping_ ," she stares at 'Cindy', "I can tell you to keep your applause and questions till the end.

"The name's Bella. Isabella Marie Swan in fact. But I'll warn ya now- even _think_ about using my full name..." She drew her propped leg back and kicked the chair down. "There's literally nothing I can do to stop you! So THANK YOU, for having me!" And then she bowed low, long hair nearly trailing along the ground. Which like, damn she'd need to find a new stylist. Not like she could fly to Phoenix just to stay loyal to her hair. Craning her neck up,

"Err, so anyone know any good stylists around here?"

And then darkness.

"Good job Bella," pats on the back. "Get back to your seat." Bella grinned, reaching up to adjust her hat. Pulling it backwards to let in the light. Then she slowly, ever so slowly, turned to Mrs. Evans and lowered herself into her seat. Mrs. Evans' brows raised. Bella's did the same.

"...Touché."

"HOLY SHIT MRS. EVANS I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE I- oh hey Bella you're in this class too? That's so awesome!" He offered up a wave with one gargantuan ham hock, a charming grin. She returned them both.

"Aw sheeyut, Tiny it's good to see you! Did you know your sisters are hot?" He threw his head back, barking out great peals of laughter.

"Ya don't say. Why I-"

"Emmett Cullen!" Mrs. Evans had a glare like thunderstorms. Dark and grey and menacing. But that didn't stop Bella from jumping back out of her seat.

"CULLEN! Your last name is _Cullen!_! Hahah, YESSSS, I was gonna go crazy if I- err. Uh. Sorry. I'll just uh..." She laughed lamely, ducking to avoid the glare directed her way, grabbing her chair again and taking it back to her shared table with Eric.

"Emmett, what have I TOLD YOU about showing up late to my class?" Emmett cowered and squirmed beneath that thunder cloud, looking as apologetic as any teenager can, kicking a foot at the linoleum. Sounding much smaller and younger than he was, he sounded off,

"If I'm going to be late to your lessons, I better show up with a good story."

"And is today's story a good story?" He nodded frantically. "Alright. Once I get settled, you may proceed."

" _Dude_ ," Bella hissed to Eric as Mrs. Evans grabbed a coffee thermos hidden somewhere behind her desk. " _Dude, what's even happening right now?_ "

" _Oh man. Mrs. Evans is literally the best teacher in the school but all us students have made a pact to tell no one so we can keep her for ourselves,_ " Eric whispered back. By this time Mrs. Evans had poured herself a steaming cup of coffee, settling back in her chair and kicking her feet up onto her desk. " _She's also the advisor for the newspaper so_."

" _That's so awesome._ "

" _Right?_ "

"Emmett Cullen!" Mrs. Evans called out dramatically. "You have shown up late to my class once again! Last time it was due to a strenuous game of hopscotch that went the length of the school walkways. That was an alright story and I was thusly forced to mark you in late. So," she gestured to the front of the class, where Bella had previously introduced herself. "The floor is yours; why were you late today?"

Tiny could not look more excited, rubbing his hands together as he stepped to the front. And with a great flourish, he began,

"OK! So, there I was..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! If ya made it through the heaps of garbage all the way here, thank you so much! I have a lot of fun writing this I hope you have fun reading it and if you don't I beg of you to BEGONE FOUL DEMON or tell me what I'm doing wrong. 
> 
>  
> 
> Seriously, I love you all you're WAY too kind to me i swear this is trash but you guys are being sweet STAAAHP I'll get cavities and dental work is expensive!! (I'm lying I'll put up with cavities all day. Stay sweet star babies!)


	6. The MOST functional stoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She can't help it. It's not her fault that she's just great, ok? So she can't hardly function sober- the IMPORTANT thing is that she's never sober enough to hardly function!
> 
> Err, uh, yeah...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Shadowcub. I see you baby. I FUCKING SEE YOU.
> 
> This chapter features very little foreshadowing. Mostly just Bella being a ridiculous fuckwad, meeting some kids of the Rezzzzz. Originally this was going to be almost serious but then I was like FUUUUQ THAT. Hey, can you find my mistakes? I sure couldn't but I wear glasses so....
> 
>  
> 
> WHO. THE FUCK. LET YOU PEOPLE INTO MY HOUSE. What do you WANT from me?!

She'd forgotten. Completely and totally.

The stress of the day, of wearing that smile and those airs for so many hours scrubbed it from the wrinkles in her brain. She's only so lucky that old habits dying hard had her stopping at the mailbox before she pulled into the driveway. Otherwise that little gift Sober Self had ordered for her so many days ago woulda lain forgotten. Because she had. Even holding the package with her name on it in bold, capital letters, she struggles to remember the source of this all-too-familiar silver packaging.

It rushes like a bat to the back of her skull just as she parks and throws open the door to her truck. She stumbles out of the cab gasping but silently, clutching suddenly desperately at the package she'd tucked under one of her arms. She holds it out in front of her, knowing that the Lion King theme is playing only in her head, she still reenacts the scene.

An ounce of Agent Orange. Mother fucking **yes**.

And her fresh out of rolling papers. Although... She did seem to remember, now that she bothered to try, that there was a bible somewhere with a ton of blank pages. And hey, she was a gay supporting, drug doing, opinionated woman - she'd been assuredly going to Hell since she was eleven, what was rolling a joint(or five) out of blank bible paper gonna do? Get her a first class seat on the train to Hell?

Pssshaw. She was already the conductor.

Or God would notice how awesome she was and want to smoke a fatty with her.

Either way.

She skipped and hopped over the walkway and up the front steps, whistling and humming too happily. Trying not to think too hard or much about the fact that only now did she feel emotion as deeply as she expressed to the world at large. So what if she cared about her meds? She wasn't hurting anyone, she didn't plan to. It was perfectly legal in Washington state and she had the papers to prove it was perfectly legal for her (even though it was purchased illegally...).

If somebody wanted to fight about it, her knuckles were rough with calluses she was fucking ready to rumble.

She throws the front door open, giggling madly as she danced her way inside, kicking the door shut behind her with an exuberant shout. She proceeded to dance and spin around in front of the closed door, howling with joy. Literally howling, intermixed with barks of joyous noise that could've been laughter had it not sounded just shy of insane.

"IIIINVEEEESTMENTS!" She sang to the empty house as her spinning leap ended with very little clumsy grossness from her. That is to say, she stuck the landing and lifted the package above her head to belt out the Lion King theme. Laughter followed that quieted when she realized she'd no one to share her happiness with. Or her very worthwhile investment.

And really that was the only way this illegally purchased marijuana could be caught in a crime - by not sharing it with the world at large. Papa was a police man, she would just feel terrible about committing any crimes while living under his most luxurious roof. So she wouldn't. She'd be the most law abiding citizen and call up her father, retrieve the number of Billy Black and start stalking-err, befriending his son.

Not ruining him in any way though, nope. Just. Broadening his horizons? Yeah. Yeah that.

So she dials up the station, ripping into the package with her teeth as the phone rings. She probably could have just searched the drawers in the kitchen for a knife or even a pair of scissors but... like, her teeth tho'. There's a perky receptionist that answers the phone when she's got a mouthful of wrap to mumble around, and it takes three repetitions for her to get her request for _Chief Swan_ through to the lady.

But once she does,

" _Hello, you've reached-_ "

"DAD!" She doesn't hesitate to spit out the mouthful of packaging when she hears his voice at long last. "My life might just LITERALLY rely on the answer to this question!" She rushes out, waiting only to confirm he's listening before she demands, "I simply _must_ have the number for dear ol' Billy Black."

 _"Bells that wasn't a question._ "

"DaaaaaaAAAAD!" He laughs at her. Laughs! As if he can't sense the need for speed right now. Is she not frantic? Had she not mentioned her own impending DEATH!?

Err. Had she? Shit, she totally had right? She'd been doing this thing lately where she spoke her mind way too much, it was practically developed into Tourette's at this point she could never be certain what she'd thought and what she'd said.

" _I think you'll survive. Don't you have homework anyway?_ "

"Dad that's what free periods are for."

" _So you got it all done?"_

"I didn't say that. I said-"

" _Yeah yeah, free periods,_ " it was her turn to laugh. To herself she thinks, _he said period_. She laughs harder. " _Gonna be ok over there?_ "

"M' fine! So that number?"

" _So that homework?_ "

"Being a real... Dick, about this."

" _Bells I'm not a detective._ "

"That was a brilliant joke and you know it." He snorts, she doesn't need to see his face to know he's rolling his eyes. But, and this is the important part, he does laugh. Which is good because she'd been trying to hold hers in. That joke was fucking AMAZING and her brain had done her a solid thinking it up on the fly like that. She was gonna reward the shit outta her brain with some Agent Orange if he would just _give her the fucking number._

" _Fine, fine. If it means so much to you,_ " she almost breaks out into song when he starts listing off the number. She freaks out, frantically diving for a drawer - lucky that it had some old receipts and a half-dried pen - to write down her precious info. She places a kiss upon the worn paper once her task is complete, blessing it and praising it all at once.

" _So how was school?_ "

Oh yeah, she was still on the phone. Oh shit. Ooh SHIT son, pops would know!

"Father you have betrayed me."

"... _excuse me?_ "

"Why didn't you TELL ME so many attractive students attended the local high school?!"

" _... I'm an adult that doesn't have any interest in a bunch of kids?_ " She laughs, inwardly thankful that'd been his answer. She'd love her pops no matter what but that was a bit creepy. Thank God his moustache was a Dad moustache and not a Creeper moustache.

"Fair point," she concedes. Then, considering the few descriptive options she has, ventures, "Why didn't you tell me there were, ah, attractive assassins?"

" _Bells. WHAT are you talking about?_ " And that struck her as odd. She'd always pegged pops for being the type intuitive and trusting of his instincts. If he had met them, maybe he just hadn't gotten those same vibes. Like the Cavanaugh's were straight deadly, despite the smiles she'd received from half of them.

Shit that wasn't right was it?

Whatever. There was some weird shit with them anyway. They were only lucky she strove to move beyond first impressions, even despite what her instincts told her.

"Ahh nothing. Just me being weird," she would _swear_ she hears a grumble along the lines of, _Oh yeah what else is new?_ but lets it slide. This time. "Anyway, I love you dad. Thank you for giving me my precious knowledge I swear I'll use it only for good."

" _Yeah I bet._ " her eyes narrow.

"You know usually people save this sorta _inspiring_ commentary for when the person in question can't hear it," she remarks, light. Charlie coughs, grumbles but no words are discernable. "See there ya go!"

" _Don't you have someone to bother?_ " She's struck with the urge to stick her tongue out and blow the most mature raspberry she's ever blown in her life. But she resists the urge, knowing only that the joy of doing it to his face would be so very much sweeter.

"Whatever," she flips hair over her shoulder with a flick of her wrist. Trying for snark through her grin. Failing spectacularly. "Love you pops!"

" _Yeah yeah, I'll see you tonight for dinner?_ "

"Of course," she chirps. And again, "Love you!" She's appalled when he hangs up with only a brief, _Ok bye._ That. That jerk hadn't told her he loved her back! Oh, oooh so he lives alone so many years (wonder who LEFT HIM THERE, _hypocrite_ ) and suddenly it's ok to end phone calls to loved ones WITHOUT an I love you? Hell the fuck no. She calls up the station again,

" _Forks Police Department, how can I-_ "

"Hey Tracy! Me again, can you connect me with Chief Swan so I can get an I love you, outta him? Apparently he's too adult to tell his daughter the first time."

* * *

"Who is that?" _There is no God_ , Jacob decides. He almost stops walking but for Quil and Embry flanking him he knows it'd look strange. About as strange as Bella Swan laying across the hood of her truck in the usual afternoon misting of rain, parked out front of his school. She's wearing sunglasses, posing as much to mess with the passersby as she is to chase away her own boredom while she waited, presumably, for him.

Which feels nice. That somebody - somebody cute and slightly older and totally cool but also ridiculous, which is attractive as fuck - would be so desperate for his company as to pick him up from school, after a no-doubt long day of their own. But it's also unfortunately embarrassing when Bella perks up, having caught sight of him from behind her shades.

A smile lights up her face, she moves to leap up or, something. It doesn't happen how she wants it. Her foot slips and when she throws out a hand to catch herself it just slides off the hood and then she tumbles to the ground in a heap. Face first.

"Shit!" He bolts past his bros with little thought, sprinting towards the downed girl. "Bella!" He reaches her as she sits up. One of the lenses is terribly cracked, the frame of the sunglasses is entirely warped so that one of her slightly dazed brown eyes focuses on him over the rim resting against her cheek.

"Dude," she's grinning and then he notices a chip in one of her front teeth and blood around her gums. "Wanna get high?"

"You can't be serious." But she is. Entirely and utterly serious. "Dude you just busted your face! How can you want to smoke? You're bleeding from the mouth as we speak!" She hummed, he could see her running her tongue over her teeth and gums.

"So I am," she agrees, jerking her head to the side to spit out a rather vibrant mouthful of blood. "Bit the fuck outta my tongue." She laughs like it doesn't hurt at all. And she's amazing isn't she? If it were so easy to get over things as Bella made it seem, the world would be a nicer place.

"Yo Jake!" When Bella tilts her head to look around his crouched hulk, the sunglasses fall from her face into a puddle. She doesn't seem to notice, focused on the handsome young bean poles strolling over. "Who's the cutie?" The one that spoke winks at her. Her brows jump up before a grin overtakes her.

"You are possibly the cutest twelve year old I've met today," she picks herself up from the ground (totally ignoring his outstretched hand to help her up, ouch), planting her hands on her hips and leaning forward to continue in her most condescending tone, "And what is your name, little guy?"

And that does make Jacob feel better. Quil visibly deflates, the most forlorn look coloring his features. So as good as he does feel, he also feels kinda guilty.

"This is Quil," he slaps the curly-haired, depressed waste of flesh on the back, successfully pulling him out of his mope. "And this hippy is Embry." He received a rather forceful elbow to the gut for that one.

"Who you calling a hippy?"

"You, ass hole!"

"LADIES YOU'RE BOTH PRETTY!" Quil snorted, coughed, then burst out into wild laughter. "Both of you need haircuts. Stop hugging trees and smoke 'em instead, ya fucking hippies." That quieted Quil and caught the attention of Embry.

"Whadya mean by that?" Quil ventured.

"You didn't even tell your bros about me?" She sniffled, fake-sobbed once, wiping at her eyes for nonexistent tears. "Why Jake, I'm hurt!"

"Err, I mean. That's not really something to discuss with others..." She snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Jake you're, what? Fifteen? What fifteen year old doesn't discuss smoking pot with his buds?"

"Yoooo-"

"Dude, she for reals tho'?"

"I mean, shit-"

"Like, _for reals_ for reals?"

"I straight told yo ass the other day, right-"

"Like, she's not just fuckin' with us?"

"Uhh," she spoke up at last, taking pity on the poor harassed Jacob. " _She_ can speak for herself, bruh." The boys - was it too soon to start calling them her boys? Hmmmm probably - did look quite adorable when they were sheepish. And Jacob's bright, relieved grin lit up his face like the sun breaking through the cover of clouds above. It was fucking touching as shit and it warmed her heart, damnit!

They were SO getting spoiled.

"Y'all two talk a big game, but Jakie baby here was too nervous for me to believe it's more than talk," they began to protest but she waved them off, smiling and kind, "It's ok! Chill babes, I don't care if you're not a toaster, 'Kay? S'aight, I'm a straight Jedi master, ya feel?" Bella had this wonderful habit of confusing the shit out of Jacob with her lingo.

And then he thinks, _Oh my god I just used the word lingo._

"Bella," he pulls her attention back to him, hearing the serious edge in his tone. He must have looked quite grim. He surely did feel it. Stepping forward, he took one of her hands in both of his. "Bella, teach me how to be cool!" And then she. She was crying. Nearly sobbing, in fact. She lurched forward, wrapping strong arms around his ribs and squeezing the breath of him.

"OH GOD, I'm-I'm just, _Soo_ glad this day has come!" He was almost regretting this decision. In fact, by the time he'd realize the can of worms he'd just opened with that demand, it would be well and too late to stop the metamorphosis from happening. He would be cool, cool by her standards. In other words - incredibly lame by the standards of everyone else.

And it. Would. Be. _Glorious_.

* * *

She finds a sanctuary in the old garage behind Jake's house. It's not as big as her foggy memories swear it used to be, which paint a totally false picture of a massive castle-like structure, but it'll suit her fine. It's private property and she's legal and FUCK DA POLICE ANYWAY!

"Sooo," It's Embry who speaks. Though he doesn't continue after that, breaking off into awkward silence after clearing his throat. She glanced at him, her grin perhaps too amused at their expense.

"This, uh...?" Quil tried to pick up, but trailed off when she turned to him with her smirks and laughing eyes. Her brows cock up, then down, then just for fun she wiggled them around, but still the silence persisted.

The boys had all so readily agreed to partake - well Jacob was still nervous and she suspected he didn't want to disappoint his bros but he had better think again if he was gonna try to smoke when he wasn't ready cuz she wasn't going to let that happen - but now they were all slightly hesitant. Clueless on what to do. Bella, striding about like she owned the place, seated herself delicately, gracefully on a cinder block with a most womanly _plop._

"Please, feel free to stand around awkwardly! I'm going to light up this joint and if any o' ya feel like trying it out you just yell, 'Hey bitch!' and I'll pass it right over, hm'kay?" Relief like sunshine, breaking over their faces. She should coin her phrases they were so delightfully fantastic.

She'd stopped at a gas station to pick up some papers, so the pearl she pulled outta her pocket did make her quite proud. Well, so she woulda felt proud no matter what she'd rolled it with, but she felt especially proud that she'd coughed up the coin for some papes instead of ruining her mother's bible.

Hot diggity doom, her morals were all fucked.

Just like her. She was fucking fucked God shit piss ass licking cunt FUCKER-

"I forgot my fucking lighter." Jacob had a look on his face like a man that'd almost gotten kicked in the nuts. "Oi don't look so happy!"

"Whaaat?" He was waving them off, pretty successfully. Embry and Quil were trying to glare but they were all sharing that look.

"This just means I have to go out in the rain to grab some matches from the truck. Problem is I dunno if I trust you nerds with my meds." There was a quality to the three looks she received. Like a try-hard quality. They all were attempting offense but at least two of them were contemplating _something_. Just in case she should bring in a fat nug and her JOBs.

"Whatever Bella," Jacob scoffed."We're not gonna touch your drugs, happy?"

"OH I will be, duder, just need a quick trip to the truck. Should take like, thirty-ish seconds." They all grumble in response, and she finds a fond feeling of fantastic warmth at seeing them. She thinks, _a boy and his friends_ , sighs wistfully to herself and leaves the garage only after depositing her pearl upon her previous pedestal.

"And this is why snapbacks are essential."

Sure the rest of her was getting soaked, but her face was clear and rain free. And that's all that mattered. Like, when she'd find a situation befitting the necessity of makeup, her makeup would stay flawless and fleek with this bad boy. And she did get that squirmy, wormy sensation in her gut that she KNEW such a situation would arise. She trusted her gut, it so rarely led her wrong unless she was drunk.

Drunk Bella was a brilliant fucking idiot that said too much. She was harsh and unrestrained and emotional. She was like, ten times stronger than usual and clumsy as a bag of dicks to boot. Terrible combination. Awful human being. Was oft to hurt others and herself.

Ah, but hey! She wasn't drunk! She was just barely high from hitting her pen boy earlier, and soon to be the mostest toastest fucking stoned ass chill kid on the block! Unless of course the boys decided to partake, then she'd feel obligated to give them major chill points.

"Jeezums," she slams the door shut behind her after leaping into Truly's cab. It was raining like a mother fucker out there! So, like, rain was good and cleansing and blah spiritual deep shit blah mother FUCK it was cold though and wet denim sucked. "Boo hiss it's gonna suck in that garage. Maybe..."

Like, shit, to be honest she kinda didn't wanna smoke with them. They weren't ready. They were curious and she'd just, well, fucking shoved her dick down their throats, basically. It was time to pull out. Not that she was gonna leave or nothin'! Just. Ya know. Roll up and smoke in here real quick.

She'd still go back! With the matches and everything! If they wanted to, straight up she could take some smoke to the face and function like a human being with a startling amount of skill. It'd been thrust upon her, her destiny, to be the MOST functional stoner

"Holy fuck I do not remember rolling this." Oh wait. Hmm. Yup, ok so she'd totally rolled three j-babies earlier. God, it was nice to be just slightly absent-minded. Just enough for her somewhat shoddy memory and mindset to prepare to leave presents for her. The only thing that could make this better would be...

She unlocks her phone, tapping on the only reason she'd ever given up her old flip phone - Spoofy. She paid for that premium so she could listen to music however she liked, wherever and whenever she liked - AKA fucking butt fuck commercials. Her favorite playlist was too good to not smoke to.

And it was good to run to and stuff. Like, and other other stuff. Reading n shit.

_Shuffle, aaaaand oooh, good first song!_

As the singer begins to croon into the mike, she fumbles out a little pack of matches she'd stored with the other joints in the dash, relishing in the sweeter sound of the match coming to life after squeezing it between the lid, staple and strike. That had to be one of her favorite things about smoking, all the sounds.

Water bubbling, herb sizzling, fire hissing. The way music felt in her ears after she'd smoked. _The fuck am I reminiscing for?_

She's quick to grab a joint and quicker to bring glorious flame to the end not stuck between her lips. And then she leans back and lets the music take her as she breathes only smoke. She wonders, as the first song ends and _fuck yes_ a Lo-Fang song starts up (she _did_ make this playlist, of course she'd like every song) why the boys haven't come to check on her yet. They probably realized by now she was just sitting in her truck.

Or maybe they thought she left?

Hmmmm.

_Who the fuck-_

"Oi stop knocking on my door I'm-" she was going to say, _I'm smokin' here!_ but, uh. Obviously the only one smoking here was tall dark and _GORGEOUS_ staring up at her with whiskey eyes and mouth slightly parted. So here she was, door thrown open, hanging in the rain right over the girl and uh. Welp.

"Oh," Beautiful Babe twelve MILLION - _Forks, fucking stop, we get it everyone is hot_ \- breathes. "You're not Jacob." Bella laughs and she swears she's not trying to go all grumbly and husky with her voice, it's just the smoke. Honest.

"If I said I was, would you join me?" And she'll say no, she's got to. Bella can see her nostrils flare, realization dawning. She knows what's up. She'll just-

"Move over." She almost drops the joint in her scramble out of the way. Whiskey Eyes closes the door with a terrific tennis grunt of effort. "Fuck, forgot how heavy that door is." Bella only hums in response, taking a long drag and handing the joint over. God. Dick fucking cheese nipples.

This girl made smoking look like sex and she wasn't even doing anything! Something about smoke billowing out of her mouth, the flush slowly rising in those fabulous cheekbones. She hits it and hits it and it's the next song starting that reminds Bella this is her joint too.

"Listen, you're beautiful an' all but," sweet biscuits this gal was dazzling when she smiled. Clutching, discretely, at the gaping hole her heart was stolen through, she continues valiantly, "I'm afraid you can't have all of that." And then she laughs and where did all the air go Bella would _swear_ she was just breathing that, damnit!

"Sorry," ( _WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING NAME YOU GODDESS_ ) she laughs, handing the joint back. "Let's just say it's been a while and I'm stressed." Bella opens her mouth, more than ready with an, _I'm Bella nice to meet ya stressed_ , when she says, "Well actually I'm Leah." Her brows furrow, nose scrunching, mouth twisting. "But I think I like Beautiful." And then she winked.

She _fucking_ winked.

"I think this is how Jack Black felt when he met What's-Her-Bitch in Nacho Libre." Leah burst out into magnificent peals of laughter.

"W-what are you _talking_ about?!"

"Come ON, Beautiful," Leah's smile was seriously a deadly weapon. "Have you never seen Nacho Libre?" She passed the joint back, watching, enraptured, entranced, as Leah chiefed on it again.

"No?" Bella paused, hand halfway outstretched to retrieve the joint. Her mouth drops open. "What?"

"I might have to kick you outta my truck." God damn, Bella took it back she took it ALL back. Leah pouting was a weapon of mass destruction.

"Oh come oooon, in the rain?" Bella nodded, solemn, coughing and hacking. Nodded again after clearing her throat and wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.

"Right in the rain." She handed the joint over to Leah.

"Won't you give me an umbrella?" Her voice, thick with smoke, might be Bella's new favorite sound associated with the arcane art of stoning.

"You shoulda brought one I guess." She shrugged. Reaching for the joint. Leah pulled back at the last second, putting it right back to her mouth, smiling smug as smoke drifted up into those whiskey eyes. "Oh you sweet pumpkin, think that'll stop me?"

God damn right, mother fucker, gettin' her flirt the fuck ON. She started crawling closer, so thankful for truck seats. Leah, laughter muffled and subdued by the joint, was curling her legs up on the seat trying to turn her back, hunch over the joint to both protect it from harm and keep it from Bella. Seriously, all the more reason to get physical.

Except, _of fucking course_ , it's as Bella lunges at her, wrapping an arm around to try and pluck the joint from her lips, that Jacob pulls the door open and they both fall out in the rain. And so the joint falls from Leah's mouth and into the world's muddiest puddle.

"Uhh," she shouldn't glare at him so, she knows this. She also knows that she would strangle him in this moment if she wasn't pulling Leah from the ground. "Bella, Leah! Uhm. Hey?"

"Hi," Bella bites out. "Miss me?"

"Jake!" Leah lurches forward, hugging him. This must not be a usual thing because he looks mildly terrified. "So glad to see you!"

"U-ummm, yeah uh, this about Sam's car?"

"No! Well yes. Kinda?" This was some bull shit. Not only did he literally dump them into a puddle (if accidentally) but now he had an armful of _her_ goddess. And who the FUCK was Sam. If he liked it he shoulda put a ring on it. "I just." Bella blinked the petty bull shit away, Leah was sounding serious. "Have you, ya know... heard from him?"

Jacob sighed. He looked sad, but not for him. And tired. Like he'd heard this question too many times but hadn't the heart to tell her to just stop asking. He actually hugged her back. Mumbling,

"No. I'm sorry."

But then she pulled back, smiling and shaking her head. And this smile Bella found significantly less dazzling. She laughed but it was a humorless, almost harsh sound.

"Hey no worries! Just, ya know, let me know if you hear from him, ok?"

"I will, I promise."

"You're a good kid, Jake," she moved to ruffle his hair but he ducked out of the way, scowling and complaining. She laughed again and it wasn't so awful on the ears, almost normal. So close. "Anyway, I'd better get outta here, ok?"

"Sure, sure," his head dipped in a nod. Smiling. Bella was real sick of these sad smiles.

"Oi!" Leah looked sheepish, having completely forgotten her in the span of a minute. Ouch. "You should take this." It was a slightly shitty umbrella, one she'd shoved into the floorboard before taking off this morning. One from an old friend that'd stolen it from THEIR old friend. This bastard was practically an heirloom of some kind or another.

"Thought I should have brought my own?"

"Yeah well next time you better bring _my_ own, yeah?"

"Yeah," it was how soft, almost shy, this smile was that made it so dazzling. Like no one had ever given her an umbrella to walk through the rain. "Bye Bella." And with very little struggle managed to convince the umbrella open - Bella had to curse it and it's mother's mother to get it to work - and turned with a little wave.

"Dude," Jacob bumped shoulders with her. "The fuck was that about?"

"Oh you know, smokin' it up with smoking hot chicks."

"I only saw one."

"OH but then you showed up!" He snorted, jostling her with a purposely forceful shoulder bump.

"Fuck you."

"Maybe when you're older," she wound an arm around one of his with a grin and a wink, kicking her door shut. "Come on I've got the matches I wanna see if you nerds faint at the sight of smoke!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I can't member your name I'm a terrible monster- someone was asking bout music - the three songs Bella got to enjoy this chapter in order are Almanac by Volcano Choir. Boris by Lo-Fang. Them That's Not by J-Live.
> 
> But three songs from a playlist I made to help me get into Bella's head because I'm lame and dumb and music means the world to me that's why.
> 
> Also song she danced up to the office to - Dang! by Mac Miller. Song she was listening to when Rosalie walked in WAS going to be a Logic song but Kyle's iSpy is too good, BUT she was listening to Logic's Metropolis when she first got into her bedroom so. OK I'LL SHUT UP
> 
>  
> 
> THAT'S ALL FOLKS lemme know how much I SUUUUUUUCCKKQ I love you all stay sweet star babies!! ;3 :*


	7. Fuckin' weird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alice is an excessive vampire, and Edward is significantly less dramatic than Rosalie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LEAVE. ME. ALONE. Get OUT of my house, I sleep with a steel bat, you freaks. (Seriously I fucking love you nerds, never leave, the couch is very good for sleeping upon I swear it)
> 
> DID SOMEBODY SAY MOAR TERRIBLY BAD FORESHADOWING? No? 
> 
>  
> 
> Shit....
> 
> My hand slipped, I guess.

She knows the exact second she fucks up.

Because as soon as a whisper of Bella's name drifts through her mind a vision explodes in front of her eyes and she sighs. Long and hard and suffering. She even puts her head in her hand, rubs at her suddenly tired eyes. She knows the exact second she fucks it all the Hell up, and so she retreats into her closet and pulls out an instrument she uses only sparingly.

A sweet little stringed baby she'd picked up in France some time ago. An Irish version of a Greek instrument. It's origins amuse her and it's sound is exotic. She doesn't play it nearly often enough but whenever she's going to get into it with a family member she finds that strumming and striking and learning the chords helps calm her and ground her in the now. Also helps end the conversation quicker. Nice things are nice like that.

"Alice." She doesn't look up from the frets, but does hum to let him know she hears him. All of this is purely for show, for the kindness of keeping the rest of the family in the loop. As soon as she blew her cover she'd thought, _Oh well_ , and he'd headed up. So she heads over to her couch, beloved thing that it is. Just huge for no reason and soft enough to swallow her up.

He follows at her heels, finding a fine perch on one of the arms. He watches her tune the thing to the best of her abilities, allows her thoughts to tickle at his awareness. She's not buying time, she's been ready to talk about this for about a year. She wants him to start. Good NIGHT that note she just struck was God awful she'd have to remember that for an interesting song. Hungry. Nervous. _Bella._

"What's that called again?" He's smiling and soft, shifting onto the couch after kicking off his shoes so he can pull his long legs up on the cushions. Futures flash on the backs of her eyelids when she blinks. Once. Twice. Thrice. Ten different conversations. One argument. Three discussions. She smiles at him, though.

"A bouzouki," she tells him, offering the instrument. He declines with a shake of his head, she shrugs, begins strumming. Then, "Ah, I might specify this is an Irish bouzouki." And he laughs,

"I know." And she grins at him suddenly, that special one just for him. She shifts closer to him until she's leaning against his side, and then it's just them and the notes and their thoughts shared between two abilities. Alice closes her eyes and Edward relaxes against her and sighs. It's not about Bella, though Alice does think of her, and it's everything they've needed after a long day at school.

They make a point to do this at least once a week. Getting lost in each other. Sometimes they'll go out to Edward's meadow and watch the earth move through space while they unnecessarily breathe each other's air and swim in each other's minds. They both do the same with Jasper, sometimes together. It's. It's odd and silly and it means the world to Alice, she feels it connects them deeper than the rest. Edward is inclined to agree.

"It's not silly, Alice," he leans his wild head of hair against her equally wild head. Presses a kiss to her skull, "You aren't odd."

"Mmm," she hums, smiling. "I'm definitely odd. She is too. You'd like her."

"Would I?"

"She'll like you too." More images flash against the back of her eyelids, not visions. Memories. False memories not her own, ones she hadn't experienced so much as acted a phantom witness. Bella. Of course it was Bella. Experiences she'd had, a good few of them he'd rather not know. Left a bad taste in the mouth. Like a sick animal. Like old blood.

"Why show me that?" He runs a hand over his face, shaking off the grimace, resisting the urge to spit. The bad taste stayed.

"She thinks she's crazy," Alice sighed, eyes opening but only slightly. She's sullen, glaring at the far wall as if it'd wronged her somehow. He decides he'll ask if the wall had insulted her fashion sense. She snorts and rolls her eyes at this decision. "Be serious." She scolds.

"She's not crazy," it's not quite a question. She answers it as though it were,

"I swear to you she isn't! She's amazing, she's smart, she's fantastically strange, she's," Alice stopped. Still, more memories flash. They end on a disturbing note. He winces and scowls and turns away. Glaring at the wall.

_It must have questioned your taste in music._

He laughs, smiles fondly at Alice. It's a smile she's happy to return.

"Aren't we supposed to be serious?" She shrugs helplessly and he can only sigh and shake his head. But, tapping back into the serious, "She's disturbed."

"Terribly. The things she's done," Alice quiets for a moment. Her fingers fly over the strings, an unrecognizable tune she's pulling out of space filling the air for two and a half long minutes. Her fingers stop. "She's upset the chemical balance in her brain. It's not a good thing."

"I'd say it certainly isn't," a softer tune starts up, the notes dripping from the instrument into existence. She knows the song and so now he does. It's pretty. Calming. Air in and out of the lungs - unnecessary but comforting.

"The way she feels things is amazing," she sighs, wistful. "Jazz told me. I wish..."

_I wish I was like you like him just enough to see her brain know her feel her so much more than I can God I wish I wish_

"Hush," He tells her, receiving an odd look - _I wasn't speaking, Brother_ \- and that does make him laugh. "Regardless, you don't want this. What do you _want_ Alice?"

_So much._

"Tell me, please?"

"What do I want?" She says it slowly, and more to herself than him. It's a request he regrets as thoughts start crowding her mind. Flashes of color and light, broken images. A cacophony of noise that roars at him, throbbing in his temples.

"I want..." It's growing louder and louder, screaming and shrieking as the images blur together into a smear his mind struggles to make sense of. A whole year of secrets kept from him wailing into his very soul. And he swears his skull will split apart, explode if it takes too much more of this-

It stops.

There's a quiet in her mind not unlike after they've bared souls. One that's been sorely missing for a while and he must be a fool to have never noticed. He is a fool, and so much more, to have missed this burden she'd shouldered. She hadn't even told _Jasper_.

"I want you to help me-"

"Always." She glares at him - _Wasn't finished_ \- and he can only offer a shrug and sheepish smile. "Go on then." She takes an unnecessary deep breath to settle herself before continuing,

"I want you to help me pick her brain."

"... I..." She waits, absently plucking a few strings. "I have no words."

"I think, in this situation, 'yes' is always perfectly acceptable."

"Alice that's a bit excessive. Even for, err, us." He, wisely, doesn't specify just her, knowing the argument that would start.

"I concur," Alice and Edward glance up and over to the open door where Rosalie lurks, wearing a most impressive glower. "Alice leave it be."

"You mean _her_?"

"I mean _it_ ," Rosalie took a step forward, eyes narrowed, furious words coming out in a hiss. "Stop making this personal you don't even know her!"

"I do, I saw-"

"YOUR VISIONS DON'T COUNT!" Edward might argue but decides otherwise at the last moment. Rosalie needs to get this out. "You've seen her in visions and think you know her, but you're wrong. You don't even know the first thing about her-"

"And you do?" Edward does take the bouzouki from Alice now, settling it into his lap as she stands, striding forward to meet Rosalie in the middle of the room. "What do you know, Rose, when you hate her what can you possibly know-"

"I know she hates herself!" In the silence that follows the lone string he plucked hums. He plucks another, and another, an Andrew Bird song taking form as he gains momentum. Roma Fade. It is such a fantastic piece.

"In her own words," Rosalie's out of steam, shoulders slumping, eyes sad. If Edward was any less of a practiced musician he might have faltered in his song. "She doesn't give a shit about herself. What can you possibly hope to prove to a sad little human? And why, Alice, _why_ even bother in the first place?"

"I've _seen_ things, Rose," she implored, daring to lay a hand upon Rosalie's arm. "Things I don't understand. Things that don't make sense. Things about her and our future. Yes, that includes _you_. And I need to understand. I need to know."

"So that's it then?" Rosalie shrugs off her hand, angry ever so angry. "She's more important than the safety of your family?"

"Rose you have to know it's not like that. Please don't take it that way, I-"

"So she is right?"

"Rosalie-"

"You've made your choice!" The blonde spat, growling and snarling when Alice tried to lay another placating hand upon her. Her eyes are black with rage, but she's more hurt than angry. So Alice quiets, watches her leave in a huff. Hopes she'll come back but leaves her future alone. She turns to Edward, forlorn, somber.

"OK."

"Hmm?" Alice barely seems to register his presence as she drifts back to the couch, perching on the edge of a cushion. So he scoots closer, bumping her with a shoulder to draw her attention.

"OK Alice. I'll help you." Life enters her eyes, lighting them up. Like star shine. She wraps her arms around him and squeezes until his skin starts to give a little and he begins to wheeze. She presses kisses to his cheek, his forehead, any part of his face she can reach until he pushes her away with a laugh.

"So when can we start?" She takes back her bouzouki when he offers after pushing her as far away as his legs will allow. His brow furrows, frowning just slightly.

"I was thinking tomorrow...?" This is the wrong answer. Even if she doesn't openly protest. Surely... "What? Come on Alice, she won't even be awake right now! Plus, that's super creepy. I'm a gentleman! It's just wrong I can't, I..."

Damn him, he can't stand seeing her upset. Even when he _knows_ he's being played. So he sighs. He groans. He rubs a hand over his face and through his hair. Sighs again. Then,

"Fine." Her squeal of joy is drowned out by the thunderous sound of her launching herself back into his arms. And he sighs some more, grumbles and gripes and groans and pretends he's absolutely annoyed as he squeezes her back and smiles fondly against the crown of her head.

* * *

She'll never be entirely certain how she manages to crawl onto the roof from her window. Some amount of pure willpower and the dumbest luck plus a lot of grunting. But she'd made it. The shingles are damp and they dig into her back through her shirt - also damp, thanks to the shingles (and the shorts she changed into also probably her underwear) - but she folds her arms behind her head and pillows her skull with them.

She's got a joint - one of her three babies from earlier - lit and stuck between her lips and as her eyes rove the sky it burns away. Every breath tastes like fire and the night, wet vegetation and stars. God damn it's fucking beautiful. She should be a poet or some shit. Fuckin', shit, that was like some seriously good imagery right there.

"And pops says I should be a lawyer," she scoffs to the stars, laughing, soft and haughty, to herself. And she supposes it's unnecessary to do the dramatics when it's just her but... they _are_ fun. Even if it reminds her she's alone. She comforts herself, "Just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm lonely!"

Because it doesn't, those two aren't mutually exclusive.

( _But I AM lonely_...)

She left her snapback on the lamp, so instead she adjusts her earbuds. The music filters into her brain louder. Clearer. This album was still in the era before trash, so she feels like less of a hipster garbage can for that vaping today. At least until the next song. Perhaps, if she were less of a basic fish, she'd have a better taste in musics. Alas, she sucks. So she hums along with the song until burning hot ash hits her cheek and makes her drop her joint.

"Shit," she sits up, swiping the ash from her cheek, swiveling her head about in search of the joint. "Fuck." She starts running her hands over her chest, the space in between her legs and the space she'd just occupied. "Shit fuck!" It was gone. It was fucking gone. If she was Sober Bella, she would be SOFA KING pissed right now. High Bella is mildly annoyed. Annoyed enough to change the song a few times amidst self-deprecating grumbles. Like sure, she still has the majority of an ounce left but like.

_Damn that was a good joint tho._

So she sighs one of those overdramatic sighs that don't actually exist outside of movies or tv shows. She slumps back against the shingles, but with her arms by her sides. Fingers tapping out the beat to Vietnow as it blasts into her ears. RATM was good as a mother fuck, they even did that awesome cover of Renegades of Funk, but this was her favorite album by far.

Too bad they'd never come back in this political environment. A gal could always hope, right?

"Bah humbug," she scoffed again. "Hope is for women and the faithful." And then she thinks, _Fighting on their knees_ , and she laughs at that particular imagery. She was a regular poet laureate. Darth Cheeto would sense her presence and demand her talent.

Ok, hopefully none of that, though. Cuz like. Not even if you paid her. Fuck that noise.

She twitches, sitting up suddenly and gazing into the forest. She even pulled out her earbuds, tilting her head to get a better listen. _Get a better listen? The fuck is that mean. WHAT EVEN I can't English somebody ANYBODY find me somebody to love._

There was something wrong she was too dumb to know or really understand. Her eyes narrow and narrow until she's squeezing them shut and screwing her face into the most deliciously constipated look of concentration. And-

"Ah!" Her eyes snap open and she'd sing her joy aloud but she's not as dense as she pretends to be. She hums lowly and moves so that she's laying on her stomach, army crawling to the edge of the roof, right above her window. This is either going to be a very good thing or a very dead thing. And by thing she means herself, but thinking about it objectively makes it slightly less terrifying.

She wasn't afraid to die, per se, just that plummeting face first to her death seems an unpleasant way to go. So she takes a deep breath and lets it out slow, blocking out the panic writhing beneath her skin, turning around and slowly swinging one leg off the edge of the roof, then the other, then her body.

Until she was hanging from the roof dangling a little to the left of where she'd wanted to be. And she might have panicked and frozen up were it not for a greater sense of danger, one that'd been screaming alarm bells in her head up on the roof. One that knew a predator was out there and, more importantly, knew this predator was watching her. So in a fit of finger strength and greater grace the likes of which she'd never been familiar with, she swung hey body forth through the open window.

Her landing was a little loud, but the important thing was that she hadn't maimed herself. And now that all was well,

"How the _fuck_ did I DO that?" She laughed, a bit manic, to herself, running her hands over her body, through her hair. She was alive, she wasn't bleeding or hurting or- what _is_ that? Makes her skin crawl, whatever it is. She pushes herself up from the floor, shaking, breathing too fast. The three steps she takes to the window are the slowest she's ever taken.

But when she peeks one eye out, there's nothing. No eyes glowing red in the trees. No teeth gleaming with slober in the bushes. Nothing is there nothing is wrong except... Except something _is_ there and something _is_ wrong her senses are just too dull to identify what. Well, her most basic senses at least.

Her impeccable instincts were on point, though.

"Man," she clicks her tongue, stepping fully into the weak light from the half-moon filtering in through the window, staring out at the forest. "Way to ruin the night there, fella."

And just like that it's gone. That pressure on her soul, raising the hairs on the back of her neck, recedes. The Predator retreats and she huffs.

_Don't that just beat all?_

"Fucking weird," she rubs at the goosebumps on her arms, trying to sooth them away. Trying to make sense of whatever the fuck that weirdness even was. She'd never quite experienced anything like that before. That raw, animal panic. Such visceral fear comparable only to the time her old d-boi had OD'd in front of her and she spent minutes that might as well have been hours reviving him.

"I was finally starting to feel sleepy," she grumbles to herself. Then sighs and walks over to the sweet new computer poppa Swan had gotten for her. She settled herself into the creaky chair of yesteryear, booting up the baby and making plans to download Steam. "Sleep is for chumps anyway."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else notice I write my vampires in a more serious tone than my stoner? I have. Or my increased usage of baby and boy? The lingo only gets better.
> 
> Err, anywho if you can't forgive my mistakes, fucking shout at me, hmkay? Cool. 
> 
>  
> 
> Stay sweet star babies.


	8. Mother Fuckin' Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because everything is obvious to everyone, but most obvious to a CLEARLY lucid Bella that totally is not fucked all to Hell with sleep deprivation. Nope. Not at all.
> 
>  
> 
> And Charlie breaks the law, kinda hardcore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who the fuck opened the window and let all the serious in here!!? Psssshaw, NO, I didn't do this. Pft. Psh. Fffft. Puh....
> 
>  
> 
> It was totally me but I swear I didn't mean to I just. Outside forces are boring, why not tear my babies down from the inside?
> 
> In other news, my taser is bright pink cuz I'm a strong independent woman who will politely ask you all to leave I don't know how many times I have to tell you not to read this and GET. OUT. OF. MY. BED. you sickos.

" _Jesus_ ," Charlie stops at the bottom of the stairs. It's minutes before six in the morning and Bella sits at the kitchen table, nursing a steaming mug of coffee and staring out the dingy window above the sink. The gray light of another misty Forks morning had not yet even begun to filter through the grime-caked glass, but perhaps that wasn't the point. "Ah, Bells?"

She doesn't flinch and start like he expects. She lifts the mug to her lips, slurps up a mouthful - Lord, is that black? Goodness even he needs a little sugar and a dash of cream! - and turns to him slow. She's tired or thoughtful or maybe both. Then he wonders, _Is she just high?_ because there's a distant, sleepy quality to her bloodshot gaze that seems like that. But also. Also not.

She's distracted and if he's not totally off the mark reading his own flesh and blood, she's sad. But she smiles a smile that doesn't entirely brighten her eyes and offers a mute wave, punctuated with another slurp of coffee. He scratches at his stomach, slow in the steps he takes over to her. And maybe he's unnecessarily gentle in the way he ruffles her hair, but somehow he feels whispers and gentleness are the proper reaction to this.

"Mornin'," he mumbles and leans over to press what's got to be the most awkward kiss on the crown of her head. There's a soft rumble in the back of her throat and coupled with the much-more-genuine smile she shoots him he decides that rumble must be laughter.

"I made a pot. Hope you like yours strong." Her voice has that throaty quality that speaks of hours of silence, but he suspects it's not throaty-sleep voice. She sounds much too exhausted for that. But he hums and offers a quiet _Thanks_ and pours himself a cup with just a _little_ extra cream and sugar. He's _not_ a strong coffee man after all but he does appreciate the gesture.

And so he sits in the chair opposite her own and watches her watch the crawl of dawn through the rarely-washed window, sipping and slurping at coffee. And he gets the distinct impression Bella isn't here right now. She's a million miles away. She's in galaxies only theorized exploring planets unreal. She's distant. Distant like her mother gets.

When she's discontent and restless and her skin itches like it's too tight like her body isn't growing fast enough to keep up with her soul like-

"Bella," he calls to her. She takes another long, slow slurp. Blinks once. Twice. Her jaw cracks open in a terrific yawn that he's not sure how he resists returning and then, as she's smacking her lips and rubbing the heel of a palm into one eye, she finally turns her gaze on him. Her mouth quirks up in a half-hearted grin.

"Charles?" Her voice sounds a little softer. Like it hurts her vocal chords less now she's had some swallows of Human Petrol.

"I, uh," he hesitates to ask what is actually on his mind - _What the Hell are you doing up? How long have you been here? Is everything alright? Are you still frightened of the dark like when you were young?_ \- so he jumps to another subject of great import. "So your medication." Her eyes are still sleepy and half-lidded but there's a spark in them.

She tips her cup back and finishes off the coffee, setting the cup down to the side and folding her hands together on the table. She sits back just slightly and though she's relaxed it feels like she's ready to fight. Maybe it's the squared shoulders or the tight jaw. Maybe it's what he believes to be half desperate fear warping her features.

Maybe he's a bad father. The worst, in fact. In any case, he's officially a dirty cop,

"So you're a little young for your, err, medication," she sits up straighter, opens her mouth to protest but he holds up a hand. She doesn't speak but her eyes burn. Regardless he takes his time to think very carefully about the next words, "Forks is not Phoenix. Laws are different. Figured I should refresh myself on 'em with you living here an' all." Her eyes burn hotter, her lids drop lower. It's the sleepiest glare he's ever received. "And I think something is only truly illegal when you get caught."

He should turn in his badge. Maybe he can find a nice, cozy, stress-free job in a cubicle somewhere? Ah, who's he kidding, cubicles are a fresh Hell all their own.

"I. Don't think I understand." she's not glaring though her eyes still burn. She must have gotten practically zero sleep last night, he knows how sharp she is.

"I talked to your mother last night," he slurps on his own half-full mug, eyeing her over the rim. Her eyes widen but only momentarily. She stays silent though, allowing him the floor. "A long time. An hour maybe. Two?"

"That's," it comes out as a rasp, she pauses to clear her throat, "That's good." It sounds almost like a question.

"She mentioned the initial attempts at more, err, traditional means of medication." Bella liked pills. Bella had an issue with pills involving her like of them. Bella tried to kill herself when she was thirteen by taking a lot of pills. Around four in the morning, after vomiting for six hours, she'd finally worked up the nerve to crawl into her mother's bedroom and wake her.

Bella got that distant look again, spark fading. Shoulders hunched as she drew her hands into her lap. He imagined she must have been twiddling her thumbs beneath the table.

"So as an officer of the law I'm obligated to inform you that I'll have to confiscate any, err, paraphernalia if I find its left out. But uh. What was it you said yesterday?"

He's referring to dinner, when Bella was over the moon about Leah Clearwater. She'd mentioned winking, of all things (he was still confused why the winking thing was important), and smoking and when he'd tried to question it, she'd denied. She'd countered with the fact that she hadn't put it in writing, he hadn't recorded her saying it, so he didn't have proof and therefore it wasn't real.

Her eyes are getting big. Huge, in fact. Her mouth is open again but he doesn't think it's because she wants to interrupt. Not that she can, he's waiting for her to speak, after all.

"I'm," she's a little shaky, running a hand with the smallest of tremors through her hair. "I'm sorry I-I don't quite- are you saying that- I mean. Dad." She's strangely serious. " _Why?_ My, my _whatever_ isn't worth your job!"

"It isn't 'whatever', Bella. It's your life. And your life means _everything_ to me. This _helps_ you. It helps you in every way that I-" Can't. He can't help her he's not a doctor not emotional not her mother he's just a man he's doing his best he's always done his best and damnit it's never been enough it's never never-

"Dad, I," she looks like she might start crying. His own eyes itch with tears but he sniffs them back.

"I know if I took this from you, it being the only thing that helps..." he laughs and it's entirely humorless. "Well you're a smart kid and I'm a smart adult and you wouldn't give up your help, now would you?"

She says nothing. Swipes at her eyes.

"I think, I think I'm... _OK_ with this but. I'd like you to consider therapy." Still nothing. "I'm not going to force you into anything, Bells. I wouldn't do that to you I'd just. I'd feel better." She nods, jerky. She's looking a little overwhelmed. A subject change is in order. "Ahhh, well it is about that time, kiddo. Want some breakfast?"

She smiles; it's watery and weak and it's the best he'll get right now, so he smiles back and grabs some supplies from the fridge and they don't really talk after that but they don't really need to.

* * *

So maybe sleep really is for chumps. In that case she's a fucking chump cuz like. Shit, son, she's so God damn tired she feels a little wobbly. The kind of tired where noises sound different and things are kinda warping in and out of focus. The kind of tired that two cups of coffee almost hurt more than they help. But regardless, when Charlie settles a plate of slightly burnt bacon down with some scrambled eggs, she gets up for another cup.

She feels sweaty and grimy, like she should really shower before school despite the shower she took like two hours ago. But she also knows that's just how she always feels after staying up until the sun decided to rise so she sits her weary ass back down and starts burning all her taste buds off with magma-hot coffee and eggs fresh from the pan. Best part of waking up was tasting rubber for a week.

Bah. Today was going to suck.

And it isn't even her fault, ya know? No, no really though, cuz like. Ok so there was some freaky ass shit going on around here. Something had sent her reeling with a panic attack around three, and right when she'd started falling asleep. Frustrating enough to almost make her cry. 'cept not though, she was too tough, she-

She had shoved a pillow in her face and bit it hard as she could and bound herself in the old afghan her gramma had knitted for her when she was just a baby and found a dark corner of her room to sit and rock in. She thought she'd seen something in the tree outside her widow just after the panic attack started but by that point she was half-mad already. And she wonders anyway,

_How the fuck can black eyes glow? They can't. Don't. Didn't. Was a delusion get OVER it you stupid fuck_

"Are you feeling alright, Bells?" Charlie is a fucking hero. He's the sweetest dad. He's the most desperate dad. This was her fault. Everything was her fault. She really was a stupid fuck.

"Just a little tired!" She laughs and grins and chugs a few more painful mouthfuls of coffee because the awful hurt of it makes her feel better in a weird way. And she avoids his concerned stares and shovels the breakfast into her mouth mechanically until it's all gone. It sits in her stomach and feels like rot but she smiles big and thanks him exuberantly and takes his plate to wash it for him after he finishes.

Because she's a good daughter. She wants to spoil him, she wants him to beat her affection off with a stick he's so damn SICK of her. That's her goal and she'll accomplish it, by God, or she isn't an excellent fucking dumpster! And she does laugh a little, at herself but it's not harsh and that feels nice. Even if she feels a touch loopy.

She was just too sober, was all. Tired and sober and the caffeine hadn't kicked in and she needed to be at a more functional level right now truly that's what was missing!

"Well I'm gonna go get ready for school!" He grunts at her, occupied by his coffee. And she laughs and thinks, _You fucking caveman_ , and is just bold enough to ruffle his already messy bedhead as she passes by him. She takes the stairs two at a time and does a rather terrific job of not busting her fucking head open.

Every step felt like she was falling so logically she had to keep walking in order to catch herself, even if it left her woozy.

It was fine, she was fine this was _FINE_. She'd dealt with worse things than a little exhaustion. This was hardly even a blip on her radar. Hell the panic attack was more worrisome. The most worrisome in fact. They did like to sneak up on her but there were always warnings. This one. It was fucking _unreal_. It. God damn, it was almost like what happened on the roof but impossibly more intense.

It didn't make sense. Nothing was making any sense but hey, sleep deprivation left her a little silly so nothing was really going to make sense today. YaY. Well. One thing would always make sense.

"Oh Mary," she sighed wistfully, leaning her back against her door to shut it as she gazed at the drawer where she was stashing her goodies. "You'll always be my one true friend 'til the end. Never leave me." She needed like, all the gummies in the world right now. And a blunt. White Owl had put out those blue raspberry wraps recently and hot diggity doom that shit tasted like blue icee. Fucking amazing.

Maybe she could hit up that one gas station on the edge of town and grab some before school. Roll up for after school so she could go on a long ride. She seemed to remember an old house she had explored in her youth and she wondered if it was still there. And she was an adult with a car so she could just drive there instead of dragging an upset Jacob through tiring hours of forest through tears and promises that _No, we won't get grounded for this_.

She totally did get grounded but only because she had negotiated for Jacob's freedom with Billy and Charlie for like, an hour. Totally worth it. She never could convince Jacob to trek up the half-rotten stairs and he'd begged her not to go, but now she was an adult and could do whatever she wanted. Like maim herself exploring the ruined guts of childhood haunts.

She had a phone, so long as she didn't lose or break it in the next six to eight hours, she'd be fine. Could always call Charlie or 911 which was basically Charlie anyway so probably just Charlie would be necessary. Man, oh MAN this was exciting. She took it back, today was going to be AWESOME. She just had school to deal with and school was easy so long as-

"Ahhww phuq." She'd finally worked up the will to grab some gummies and shove em into her mouth. "T' Cluphins." Clevin? No that was wrong. God, it felt like they were so important but she could never remember their damn names. S'pose that meant they weren't nearly that important?

No that couldn't be true. She had too damn many classes with most of them for them to be unimportant. And that was the problem, something about them upset her balance. Like, her spirit. That is to say. Hmm, they. They made her panic in a lot of strange ways. There was the whatever-it-was about them that set off **Danger** reactions. It was like.

"Step into my parlor said the spider to the fly," she comments to herself, but quietly. Frustrated beyond all words. So much about them was purely animal. Like only subconscious levels of the brain were activated and understood what was going on around them. The reptilian brain come to life?

And so every reaction felt like she was talking with a dragon. Beautiful and mythical and unbelievable, but still a mother fuckin' dragon that could tear her ass up if the mood so struck them. And couldn't dragons take human form? Holy fuck. Holy-

"Fuck, dude! They're mother fucking Dragons!" Holy shit, that made so much sense now! It was the most logical conclusion to make, honestly. She was pretty sure she'd heard Rosalie growl and she swore she'd seen Alice's eyes change colors to a minimal degree. It would explain why they were so fascinating but felt so deadly. It would explain why they were hard as stone because like, shit, she'd bruised herself on them yesterday.

Only thing it couldn't really account for was the cold skin. They felt like ice. Like dead things. Seriously how was no-one else freaked out by them? It was mostly bitter, petty bull shit about their wealth or the people they chose not to date - which was everyone, apparently - and never about how they were totally like, murderers or some shit.

And to be fair she's making a lot of rude assumptions that she'd never actually share with anyone, thinking things she'd usually push to dark, dusty corners of her mind so it can't hurt her interactions with the murderers in question but like...

They were totally Dragons and they probably ate homeless people in their free time 'n shit.

"I mean, they're like, mostly nice dragons tho. Sheeyt. I mean, so long as they ain't tryna chomp on my bod, who really gives a fuck?"

Not her. She remembers that dragons are wise creatures so she'd actually do good to pursue a friendship. A cautious friendship, perhaps, the kind where she tried not to be alone with one of them without other people around to witness. But a friendship regardless. They could like, teach her how to impress her kingdom and shit. Not that she needs it but. It never hurts(potentially so long as she's not alone around them) to learn, right?

Knowledge is power, baby, and she was half-determined to rule the world.

* * *

"This is great, isn't it, Alice?" If there was one kind thing Alice could say about her elder sister, it was that she looked very pretty no matter what emotion she wore.

Bitingly sweet sarcasm looked fantastic on her. Smug joy was fucking gorgeous. And Alice hated it. So she sat silent in the back of Emmett's Jeep, staring out the window at the rain as it dripped slow like honey from the heavens above. It streaked the window and sloppily bled down the glass and it was MUCH more entertaining than listening to Rosalie.

"Babe..." Emmett was in rare form, frowning at his wife with disapproval.

"So can you tell me how long Eddie will be in Alaska, Alice, hmmmm?" Rosalie easily shrugged his discontent away with a flick of her wrist and flip of her hair. And she looked God damn _great_ doing it. Alice could feel Jasper trying to comfort her through his ability but Rosalie's smug was overpowering and soured her mood regardless of his attempts. And he was a rather intelligent gentleman, so he backed off, though sent her apologetic frowns that she could do nothing with.

"Oh come on, Alice! I thought Ed and her would be thick as thieves! What happened to _that_ future?"

"Will you just shut up!" She finally bit out, whipping out a ferocious glare and settling it upon the blonde in front of her. "You were right, there, happy!?"

"Oh, _SO_ happy you really can't imagine how happy I am-"

"I'm so _glad_ you're feeling good about Edward trying to fucking KILL HER!"

"You just admitted it, Alice. I'm _right_. And she wouldn't have been in any danger to begin with if you had just left it the fuck alone! But _No!_ You had to convince Edward to stalk her bedroom window with you, and, surprise surprise, it was a BAD fucking idea!"

"How was I supposed to kn-"

"You're a GOD DAMN seer! Maybe, I dunno, CHECKING THE FUTURE would have helped?!"

"It was chance, ok! Just a bad swing of chance, a shift in the wind, she forgot to close her window all the way, I'M SORRY!" She was getting upset, genuinely on the verge of tears she would never be able to cry out. "You didn't see it she _knew_ we were there she was so terrified I-I just." She hung her head and buried her face in her hands, "She was crying and screaming into a pillow to keep quiet."

And Rosalie looked hot when she scowled like that, like Alice could tag-team with Emmett and fuck that stupid hot scowl off her dumb gorgeous face, the bitch. She hunched her shoulders and bit her lip to keep the concerned frown from her face and Alice would like to bite her bite the Hell out of her 'til she screamed and struggled and-

"You shouldn't have done it, Alice," Rosalie sounded a lot more exhausted than was physically possibly for her, _them_. "You _know_ better! What if you hadn't been there with him? He would have _ripped her to pieces_ , Alice. That future you saw, of her joining our family, it wouldn't have come to pass."

"How did-"

"I'm not as stupid as I look," and she will never tell Rosalie that she looks so far from stupid because Rosalie already knows that and Rosalie is full of herself enough already. "You've never wanted to get close to a human like this before. Why else except that you saw something you wanted to happen?"

Alice remembers - not that she ever forgot, just that more pressing matters had come up to distract her - then that the rain striping the windows is so very much more interesting than anything Rosalie has to say. Not that Rosalie is wrong, oh no how could _anyone_ ever tell Rose that she was _wrong_? And she's not wrong, ok? It just feels nice to sass her in the safety and quiet of her own mind.

"If it's any consolation, I'm sorry you had to experience that. I don't derive pleasure from knowing that girl was terrified and almost died. I don't like the pain it's causing you now but, DAMNIT, you _do_ know better. And now you will know better and you'll leave her-"

"I visited her last night." Jasper hadn't even moved from his disinterested slouch against the seat, staring out the window opposite Alice's. It could almost be believed he hadn't spoken at all.

"Excuse me?" Rosalie's quiet fury was God damn panty-dropping. It was irritating in every sense of the word.

"I visited her," Jasper turned to face Rosalie's glare head-on, an unimpressed expression painting his facial canvas. One brow cocked up when Rosalie growled out an impatient, _Well?!_ He would answer when he damn well pleased. And he enjoyed rattling her when Alice couldn't. He made sure to send Alice a smug sort of amusement that closed her fish-gape mouth and quirked it into the tiniest little secret grin. "Around twelve or so, few hours before y'all."

He waits _so_ patiently for Rosalie's next irritated, "AND?"

"She knew I was there. I wasn't even as close as you and Edward got," he's speaking more to Alice than Rosalie because it irritates her and amuses Alice. "But she knew when I got close and when I tried to creep in a little closer she nearly killed herself scrambling off the roof. She feels things in an incredibly odd way, even her fear is strange."

"This just goes to show that-"

"When she got into her room, she stepped into the window, into my view, and she said, 'Way to ruin the night there, fella'."

He waits for Rosalie to say something. Or Alice. Or Emmett. And when no-one says anything he continues,

"Beyond that, when she first sighted me in Evans' classroom, a surge of emotion I can only label ' **No!** ' almost knocked me out of my seat. She feels that for all of us to a lesser degree but she knows I'm more dangerous. I think we should keep an eye on her. I think she has the potential to ruin us, if accidentally."

"So you're agreeing with me?" It's not that he liked ruining Rosalie's good time or anything, just that coming to Alice's rescue feels incredible.

"I'm afraid not. I believe it wise to wait for Edward to come back. Learn her brain and keep ourselves safe. We _just_ moved. I'm not a terribly big fan of uprooting ourselves when we can be careful and cautious and learn her, know when she suspects."

And then it's Rosalie that finds the fat drops of rain exploding against the windshield before her so incredibly interesting. More interesting than his opinion. More interesting than the relieved smile Emmett shoots him in the rearview or the very appreciative almost-bedroom-eyes Alice directs his way.

"You make her feel very complicated," he told the irate bombshell filling the air with nauseating black fury mixed with apprehension and an oddly prevalent sense of sorrow. "And if it makes any of you feel better, when she's not stuffed in a small space with me, I _think_ she wants to put me in a dress..."

And the nausea lifts as an unwilling bout of laughter bursts out of the blonde, quickly followed by the rest of his siblings. Barring Edward, of course. But Edward had already known that and he didn't find that quite as amusing. Well, he didn't like the image of himself in a dress he'd fished out of her head in the cafeteria. But he had found Jasper's rather funny. And, Hell, it was funny. So he laughed with his siblings and spared a quieter moment, after they'd calmed, to offer a rare silent prayer that things went alright today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I was waiting ever-so patiently for somebody to be like, "YOU STUPID FUCKING CUCK DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WASHINGTON STATE'S LEGAL MARIJUANA LAWS!?" So Scout4it, thank you for not saying that and actually being super cool and chill and nice about it and like, wow your comment tickled me so fucking pink I can't even believe. You FOOL you should cuss me out I'm a terrible ass you see.
> 
> Gonna be absolutely honest, was really fucking wasted when I wrote this last half. Like. I'm currently wasted in fact and I edited this for mistakes while, uhh, lady-dick deep in beers cuz Lagunitas' Lucky 13 that's why get off my back. But uh yeah be kind about my mistakes??
> 
>  
> 
> You guys are freaky nice and may be stalking me but I swear it makes my heart SING! Thank you THANK YOU SO MUCH, stay tooth-rottingly saccharine you delicate, precious, sweet star babies.


	9. Stability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella's stable she's SO stable she's so damn stable you could park a horse in... Err, well, she's stable. 
> 
> Obviously. 
> 
> No problems whatsoever. 
> 
> Nope. 
> 
> Perfectly fine.
> 
> Edward might be conflicted though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to go super in depth with inner Bella but it's so hard to do that writing from her perspective. So I keep borrowing vampires for those exact purposes.
> 
> Umm, I'm kinda dissatisfied with this but it's literally the fourth version I've written up. When I struggle to get from point A to point B in a story or in dialogue I usually end up scrapping it completely and starting from scratch, this is as good as it gets I'm afraid but hey, complaints can be filed with - I TOLD YOU not to read this, get out of my closet there's a pricy bong in there you could shatter

Bella's emotions were strange things. Painted in pastels and water colors. She felt her emotions and they could be incredibly vivid but they were ghosts, pale imitations of what she should feel. He'd tried to feel them out, seek the core of her emote. And it was most odd for him to come across, for lack of a better word, a stronghold at the center of her being. Like steel, but steel too strong for him to bend and rend and force his way through.

As she pulled her rumbling rusting beast of a truck into the parking lot this morning, he could sense that it was gone. That steel garrison guarding her closely kept feeling, the base of her drama and every bit of flourishing flowery word-garnish, it was free and open to him and he felt a dizzying sense of regret that he'd ever wondered what lay behind it's walls. It was like a gaping wound weeping with emotion, oozing and secreting it. Euphoric bouts of joy followed by deep pits of despair, a bone-aching soul-crushing exhaustion and a loathing so black and poisonous he stumbled, fell. And from where he could see her rolling down a window to hang an arm out she bore it all with a soft, silly smile.

And then she caught sight of him, of his family crowding about to form a protective concerned circle. That animal sensation he could only label **NO** replaced her hurricane of emotion and he found his feet once more, biting out,

"I'm fine!" And refusing to explain the whys and whats of those fifteen odd seconds. Her **NO** was a fiercely protective instinct she was intimately aware of in a way few humans ever were and, in this instance, it proceeded to tint her emotions to a degree he could actually tolerate. He shot Alice a sharp glance and a fraction of a flare of emotion, nodding to the human puffing on. What in the-

"Dude," Emmett and Rosalie weren't blind to the interaction between Jasper and Alice, but only Rosalie was speechless to scene the before them. "She's a total fucking badass!" Referring to her rather blunt nature in, ah, chiefing on a blunt in the middle of public.

"Emmett!" Rosalie wanted to admonish him, tell him otherwise but even she felt oddly impressed by fearlessness of the strange human they were all too enchanted by.

"What?! She totally is," he waved in her direction and Jasper glanced back over at her surge of something. That was the most difficult thing concerning her; she hardly felt one emotion at any time, it was always a Frankenstein's Monster amalgamate that he had to sift through and categorize. **TINY** was the set of feelings she thrust at him anytime she spotted Emmett and this time was no different except, of course, impossibly intense.

It was apprehension and **NO** and tentative tendrils of _friend_ , it was a thorny hope for _home_ and _safe_ and hesitant exuberance and the sweetest sugary little spot of sunny joy. It was sprinkled with easy comfort and _effort-to-relax_ plus a prickle of amusement. And that was just what he could decipher of it. It's level of apprehension and **NO** were slightly skewed at the moment but that didn't stop her from letting out an attention-grabbing vaguely-animal call and waving wildly at Emmett to approach.

Rosalie's jealousy was sharper, stung more than any newborn bite as it whipped uncontrollably out of her. Snake striking from the underbrush. It could have taken his unnecessary breath away any other day but recovering fresh from Bella it felt almost dull. Emmett pressed a fierce kiss to her cheek - because the vultures were watching and they really didn't need the fodder - and demanded she _Play nice, OK?_ before he turned with a grin and jogged (at a human pace) over to Bella's truck.

"He's not going to-"

"Oh he's definitely going to," Alice cut in, looping an arm with his and offering up a grin. "I'm having trouble seeing her today but Em's still the most open book." Rosalie's dark miasma of upset was not as dense as usual. She was, unfortunately, amused by the way things were turning out. (And he _had_ asked her to play nice, hadn't he?) Regardless, she scoffed and turned and strutted towards the school, being followed by the helpless eyes of most people out in the lot.

They did try not to stare but they couldn't really stop themselves. A combination of deeply subconscious animal fear and Rosalie's own attractive features wouldn't let them look away. Alice and himself were much slower in their leisurely stroll towards the double doors, though the disinterest he was generally blanketing the lot in encouraged decidedly fewer stares.

"I could always siphon off some of her fantastically huge reserves of intoxication onto him," he proposed quietly, trying to discreetly eye the truck where his little brother and their current living breathing curiosity resided, sharing a rather fragrant blunt between them. "So she's not wasting her time and product on him."

"She wouldn't call it wasting," Alice pats his arm, cooing at him and reaching to pinch his cheek, "But it's SO sweet you'd be willing to do so."

He rolls his eyes and jerks just enough to not get that patronizing pinch, but not enough to untangle their limbs. And he laughs at her, a quiet rumble in his chest, gazes at her as affectionately as he dares in so public a place. It's as he's tearing his gaze away, lest he get caught up in acts of debauchery - she's in a mood this morning that tickles at him in the most pleasant way - inspired by the ride to school, that his eyes catch on Bella's.

The tsunami that she almost drops him with is mostly **NO** but there's more to it. It's **NO** plus the panic of her roof scramble from last night. Then mixed fine with recognition and resignation. And she tops it all with something not-quite-a-frown, and a serious nod in his direction. He's lucky Alice was walking with him, that she's so deceptively strong as they all are so she can drag him away.

She keeps a smile plastered on her face for the sake of those that begin watching them when he loses the concentration necessary to convince them otherwise, waving at a few classmates that send particularly concerned frowns their way. They whisper, wondering what it is that had made him, who always wears an uncomfortable expression like it's the only thing he owns, look so God awfully sick. They worry they'll witness him vomit. Some make snide comments that they hope he does, so he'll not be so perfect.

These last whisper-ers earn his ire in a dose of just a dash of that poison Bella feels for herself.

"Jazzy, baby," Alice finally gets them out of public eye and pulls him to the ground. Well. She lets him collapse and collapses with him, cradling his face between her palms. "Talk to me, hun. What happened?"

"Bella," he rasps, reaching up to hold her hands to his face. Turning just slightly to kiss one and then the other because despite her worry and panic it grounds him in the here and now. Then she's trying not to feel touched and amused because he's so tender with her and _of course_ it's got to do with Bella.

"What now?" And she fails trying not to sound completely exasperated. She likes Bella but in less than two days she's inadvertently caused a lot of drama and Alice has never been known for patience. Immortality has never tempered that particular quality of hers and he truly doubts it will anytime soon. So, unbidden, he chokes out a laugh and shakes his head and kisses that adorable pout from her lovely mouth, imparting against her lips,

"She knows."

* * *

"You cut a particularly cute figure like that." There are a few thousand things she doesn't say instead of that and not a one of them is very appropriate. Then again, they're immortal God beings that can only truly be destroyed by immolation. Appropriate is a matter of perspective. Namely, are they coming from the human perspective or one more logically sound like their own?

So in the sense that he's feeling vulnerable and miserable and oddly, terribly human, those other comments - the ones about fucking him and getting fucked by him and threesomes, foursomes, a Cullen-Denali orgy because it's been entirely too long since they've all shared such sweet skinship - are inappropriate and he's glad she keeps them as much to herself as she can with his unfortunate, invasive power.

"Don't I just?" He tries to smile, but it's weak and in her mind, cute and boyish and she could kiss him God she could he's just so precious like this- "You suck." He groans, throwing an arm laden with snow across his eyes. She laughs but it is apologetic and seats herself down next to him. Not quite close enough that they're touching, but close enough that they easily can should the situation arise.

"Eddie, I love you very much," _And your tongue_ , she thinks, _and when you use it in tandem with that wicked power of yours._ "But I'm going to need you to hurry up the dramatics and get to the stage of grief where you spill the beans on this one, 'kay?"

He's quiet for a very long time. Maybe hours - _twenty three minutes and forty seven seconds_ \- and, showing just a touch of her centuries on this earth, she waits so patiently for him to speak. The most patiently. Intense and wild as she can be and is, she is kind and fair and absolutely lovely. And so that eternity passes and he mulls over her words and she lets him in peace.

He snorts, letting his arm fall and turning after shaking a little snow from his face to eye her with that usual crooked grin he does wear so very well,

"'Spill the beans?'"

"Don't even play people totally say that, still!" There's a hesitation though, in her tone and in her mind but he bites back on the urge to point that out and just laughs instead. At first she's sour but seeing him laugh and relax after spending hours in the snow staring like the dead thing he is up at the sky, she can't really help joining in. Though subdued. She's terribly worried and he IS acting dramatic. It's touching.

"I almost killed a girl." To his own ears it sounds terrible - and then there's the larger part of him that feels no remorse whatsoever and he feels like he should and - but she doesn't respond beyond a hum as she reaches for one of his hands. She thinks about the things this hand can do, have done, as she plays with his fingers.

"And?" She tries not to sound so callous when she asks. Like in the grand scheme of not just the planet, but the universe as a whole, this girl doesn't matter. Though she doesn't, no one person really does. She tries not to sound like that because Edward is young and kind and sweet and he cares so damn much so she tries she really really tries. By Edward's flinch and wince, she fails fantastically. But he doesn't pull his hand from hers, instead squeezing it.

He doesn't blame her. Appreciates the gesture.

"That's just it," he sighs, running his free hand through his hair, thoroughly messing it up. His fresh frown flees as she abandons his hand to muss his hair all the more. She receives a soft, gracious smile for her efforts. But, ever serious, he continues, "I feel awful for it. In a way I haven't felt awful for it since my first fifty."

His first fifty years, he meant. She'd met him then, he was prudish and egotistical and just slightly controlling, his emotions were all over the place he was constantly furious with everyone else for the private thoughts he was forced to hear. And he'd died a virgin and while that had been rectified a few years back, in those first fifty it made him very uppity and 'pure', at least purer than _them_. Enough reason to think he was better. She didn't begrudge him his vampire childhood.

They all had one and they'd all had issues during them. It was nothing more than hypocritical to call him out on the flaws of his second youth.

"And I thank you for that, but," his face was screwing up in an awful, sad way. "It's. I don't understand it. She's just a _human_."

"Then she must be special," Edward snorts and looks at her rather rudely. She flicks him in the middle of his forehead. "Oi don't look at me like I'm stupid! I'm serious!"

"Ok," he intones. "Please, oh great and wise Tanya Denali, how is the human I almost ripped apart special?"

"Because you felt remorse. You feel terrible now but imagine how you'd feel if you'd actually managed to crush her skull like a grape?"

He winces. He scowls. He grumbles incoherently and looks away from her gaze.

"And therein lies the fact that she's special. Something about her has touched something about you."

"Not to mention my family?"

"The rest of the Cullen Clan are entangled with her? How long has this been going on, Edward?" Her tone was sharp, eyes turning murky. But he kept his calm, didn't jerk his head away from her fingers. She was millennia older than he and he trusted her explicitly. She would hear him out.

"Oh, a whole whopping twenty four hours, give or take?" Her hands had stilled but now they continued massaging his head. She was apologetic for assuming the worst of a Clan so dear to almost be her own, but also confused and concerned( _Volturi..._ ) and tentative to express lest she come across even more accusatory. "No, I find it strange as well. But Alice-"

"Ahhh," Tanya chuckled. "And so the seer doth control all fate."

"Err, that's not entirely-"

"Oh hush," she admonished, lightly, smiling all the while. "Alice has got you all wrapped around her little finger and don't you try to deny it!"

"... I mean I wouldn't say we're wrapped around her little finger..."

"You're right I really shouldn't sugarcoat it, so Alice finger-banged you all into submission then?" She was smiling, the most dazzling smile in fact, and he stared back as passive and unimpressed as he could possibly be. Then his lips twitched. His eyes began to dance and spark and he snorted, the snort became laughter and he was rolling in the snow, ruining the outfit Alice had picked for him quite thoroughly while Tanya watched. He was totally gonna blame it on her too.

"I shouldn't," he sat up, shaking snow from his hair, ruffling it like crazy with generous use of his hands, fighting back a last few chuckles. "I shouldn't like that expression more than the first, but..."

"Hey no worries! This is like that, err, that one gym. Uh. Hmmm, seen a lot of anorexic people going in and out, uhh-"

"Planet F-"

"SssssSSSShhhh," she pressed a finger to his lips to silence them. Pretended not to stroke them because he did have a velvety smooth mouth, while he pretended not to notice because Tanya was very pretty and she was also in a mood that could always be enjoyed by the both of them. Hell, maybe her sisters would join?

Ah, that might actually be a bit much, Kate did tend to go a bit overboard.

"I'm so glad," Tanya sighed, reaching back for the wild head she'd abandoned when he started to roll. He, in fact, moved over to lay it in her lap for easy access.

"Oh? And what has you so glad?"

"Mmm," she hums, stroking fingers through his hair. If he was any less loyal than he so absolutely is, he might be tempted to abandon the Cullen's and become a Denali. Tanya wasn't terrible, in fact none of them were. They were all quite pleasant. "I'm so glad you're not a prude."

 _Anymore_ , but she keeps that to herself. Err. Well she tries and the older he gets the more 'A for effort' feels like it applies to everyone.

"What makes you say that?"

"You were just thinking about sex and it, I dunno, it kinda made me proud."

"And how would you know that?"

"You were making the face you make whenever Kate shocks _almost_ too much."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup." She makes certain to pop the 'p'.

"I'm so glad you're the mind reader now," he snarked, her mocking him the whole time. "And that we're definitely sticking to the subject!"

"This _IS_ sticking to the subject!" He gave her the most incredulous look, brows hidden by the hair she had flopping over his face.

"... Eww, Tanya, she's like, twelve."

"And so were you when I got the craving for a good old fashioned-"

"On top of that, she's human, I'd break her pelvis or, in a much more likely scenario, rip her goddamn throat out!"

"I've been sexing humans up for centuries!"

"I'm just barely older than a century!"

"All the more reason to start learning from the master now!"

"GREAT! Just tell Irina to meet me for lessons-" he broke off with a grunt, courtesy of the hard smack from Tanya which was delivered with a most dignified indignant squawk. Edward laughed and rolled off her lap, leaping to his feet to bolt off into the wilderness with Tanya hot on his heels, shouting expletives at his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEXUALLY ACTIVE EDWARD please tell me no-one saw it coming? I have a lot of strong opinions on the Cullen's that must be and that's one of them. You're tellin me you're a hundred and a God-beast-animal-predator and you DON'T want to fuck despite turning in your teens? Dude, fuck right off you are lying. Purity and humanity are such silly things, THEY'RE FUCKING VAMPIRES. Like, get off that holy dick, son!
> 
> ANYway, so yeah this ended very abruptly as you may have noticed and I apologize for that. And I didn't mention music the whole chapter so I must be dying. Also I barely edited it God I fucking suck.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you all for being so awesome -dude thirteen hundred plus hits like who ARE you people do you need a map are you lost? - please never ever stop. And stay diabetic shock inducing sweet(maybe slightly less sweet than that) star babies!


	10. Observant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because the world needs to understand that Jessica Stanley isn't stupid and isn't blind.
> 
> Also weird things are happening and some vampires are slightly nosy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a lot of effort to get this one out. Seriously, this shit fought me every step of the way. Lots of alcohol and various types of buds went into writing this so if you don't enjoy I literally tell you every chapter to GET OUT OF MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER. Last I posted it was thirteen hundred and now it's seventeen. I don't know who you people are but stop inflating my ego THIS ISN'T DISNEY'S BALLOON FARM, DAMNIT.
> 
> YO! Before I forget - I'm not using any canonical teachers from Twilight because Bella does NOT have the same schedule. Just wanted to say that in case people were wondering. And if you weren't then stop wasting time and read the words of this awful trash produced by a garbage can!(aka, me)

She doesn't even say anything once he hops in the cab, just wordlessly holds out the blunt. He hesitates, stuttering over what's supposed to be him denying any part of the marijuana. She grunts and waves her hand and that's it. Her stunning argument. He glances past her towards his family but Rosalie isn't looking so he takes it delicately between two fingers. The heat from its ember makes him nervous but he puts the unlit end to his mouth and inhaled under Bella's watchful, bloodshot eyes. She has music playing, nothing he recognizes but it's. Kinda downer. Sharp with bitter sarcasm.

He keeps his comments to himself on the choice. She watches him and he wonders if she realizes she's even doing it. He wonders if she even means to; she's got a sort of thousand yard stare that tells him she's not entirely here. And then she croaks,

"You've done this before," and if she didn't drawl it all slow like that it might have sounded almost accusatory. She's sleepy as fuck, he thinks. Too tired to truly care. He tells her the truth,

"I haven't," handing the blunt back and shaking his head. He hasn't. It won't do anything to him so he's never bothered trying it. Alcohol had been a kick until it came back up. Did nothing and he'd vomited blood everywhere. Which, to be honest, hardcore as fuck. He'd scared _SO_ many humans. She cocks her head, squinting at him. Because the squint will help her discern if he's honest, apparently. "I'm serious, I haven't!"

It didn't help he was hitting the blunt again, without coughing. And like, burning that shit down, since the smoke couldn't hurt him. Bella eventually decided she didn't believe him and snorted, head lolling back to rest against the seat. Her slouch couldn't be comfortable, though she didn't seem to notice or mind any discomfort.

"What do dragons eat?"

He pauses reaching for the ever shrinking blunt, staring at her like she's just this side of crazy. And she is. He didn't answer at first, wondering if it was a rhetorical question. Her head rolls on her neck, she's eyeing him sleepy-like, brows raised to heaven. Or at the very least, to her hairline.

"People," he says, reaching the last few inches for the blunt, sucking at it a bit more delicately so he's not wasting it on himself. Then, "An' animals, big ones. Like deer and bears n shit." That went in line with every Knight's story he'd ever read. People and big game were noms for flying lizard monster. When he glances over at her, wondering if this is the answer she sought, she's got her eyes closed, nodding sagely to herself.

"Do dragons sleep?"

Ok. What with the dragons? His brow furrows, face scrunching up. But she's still serious, still watching him expectantly. At least she is when she opens her eyes, all quizzical and waiting on his explanation. And, ok, so like. Why is _he_ the expert on dragons?

"No?" Is that even an answer? She takes it, humming lowly around the blunt. She doesn't pass it back. She hits it a few times then sticks her tongue out, putting the blunt out on it. And he doesn't say anything but he thinks it's bad ass. He wouldn't do it, anyway, so more bad ass than he'd put the effort in for.

"So if dragons live forever, why would they go to school?"

"Ok, what's with all the dragon questions?" She just stares at him. Waiting. Expectant. Always ever expectant. He huffs, "What else would they do? Sit in secret fortresses surrounded by their wealth? Shit would get real old super fast!"

"What-

"If this is another dragon question, I'll leave." She purses her lips, clearly displeased. No der it'd been another dragon question. Instead she sighs, head rolling back into its original position. She's quiet for a long time, he thinks she won't say anything else. Which would suit him just fine. No more weird questions to answer and it was nice to have a person to be silent with. Not that he's expecting her to be that person; they met yesterday they're hardly friends he'd be moving awfully fast to decide right now that she's his comfortable silence partner.

(He already did, though.)

"I keep having this dream..." she says, though her head doesn't roll back around to face him. She doesn't immediately continue. Fiddling with her fingers. Scratching at her cheek. She clears her throat and cocks her head to squint out the window as the slow sprinkle of rain starts to pick up. As an afterthought she cranks up her window before too much rain can get in.

"Yeah?" He provides when the quiet stretches too long.

"Yeah," she breathes. "I think it's important somehow."

"Why's that?"

"Cuz I keep havin' it." He snorts and the tiniest smile twitches up one corner of her mouth.

"So, what's it about?" Here she hums, eyes squinting and squinting until she's squeezed them shut. Then she starts stroking her chin... dragging her hand through the air then flicking her wrist like she's tossing something. (Uhh, okaaay.) Eventually she opens her eyes, but only halfway, and her hands thread together in her lap.

"So I'm in a building. It feels like an office building. Lots of shiny marbled floors and big windows over looking like a valley?" She hums again but shakes her head with a soft grunt, "Anyway, I'm walking with a man. Nondescript, handsome I guess, wearing a suit. We both are. Wearing suits I mean. And then... something happens. An-an alarm or somethin'. We hear glass breaking or... Something alerts us that something is wrong.

"So he's like, 'This way!' And we sprint off and we're always just too late to catch the person. It's a lady. A lady I don't know. Each time I have the dream I see more and more of the building. That hallway I start in is an errant office building hallway, the rest of the building is this, like, amalgamation of the homes of my youth. And that's what makes it important. This person crashing through my hearts, ya know?"

"Do you have any guess who the lady could be?"

"Nah. I never get to see her really, or her face or anything. I'm too late and she's always well out these back doors on the lowest level of the building - cuz we're in like, a basement where we run to anyway - and she's running through a crowd at the bottom of the steps into the valley. I run as hard as I can but I hit the crowd and it's a wall of people just a fuckin' wall an' I push an' I scream but they never budge and then I wake up."

"That's. Weird."

"Yeah."

"And it's always the same?"

"Yup," she pops her 'p's. No wonder Alice loves her so. "It sucks cuz every time I've had it these past few months I realize it's a dream and try to take control. Shit ain't so easy."

"Months?"

"Been having it 'bout a year and a half? Two years maybe?"

"Damn. That _does_ kinda sound important..." he agrees and she hums and nods. Staring out the windshield. He hears the distant sound of a bell, THE bell, really. The one signaling they should be sprinting towards gym right now. But... "Wanna hear my guess on it?" Another twitch of her mouth, but curling it up into a full grin this time as she turns to him. Her eyes spark and dance and it's the most alive she's looked since he got in the car(truck, it's a truck). Hell, she even straightens from her melting slouch.

"Sure, Tiny. Lay it on me!" He'd have to ask about that Tiny thing. Not that he disliked the name - so few people outside of his family were willing to be on that level with him, it was refreshing.

"I think the woman is you," she looked like she wanted to dispute that so he continued quickly with waves of his arms, "Nonononono hear me out on this!" She grinned again, rolling her eyes and making a face immediately afterwards like she'd swallowed bitter medicine (she thinks, _Dear God now I'm rolling my eyes at everything!_ with mounting horror.) but she gestures for him to continue,

"Ok so the woman is you," he repeats, eagerly settling forward hunched over his knees to huddle closer. As if the closeness could better illustrate his point. "See cuz it's the REAL you, right? Like, the person you're afraid to be, the person you are on the inside the-"

"No," she cuts him off with a sigh.

"You're supposed to let me finish," he informs her, spectacularly patient. Not that this is any different from his usual attitude. He has to live with a mind reader an empath and a beautiful scarred goddess, patience is the only virtue he's got left. She huffs, but once again gestures for him to continue. "She might be you. And I might be wrong. You'll figure it out, regardless. Was that so hard?"

She tries to shoot him a glare but she's smiling, informing him,

"Yes, incredibly hard." And then she sighs again, slouching but not to the degree she was previously. "I don't want to school today. Can we sit here and talk about dragons some more?"

"Please don't. We could always talk more about dreams," another bell. They were definitely going to be late. He should tell her...

"Nah, the rest of my dreams are all fucked or jus' regular shit that ends up happening anyway."

"Well I could tell you that we're-"

"Don't care if I'm late, just tell 'em I'm sick I mean I look like a zombo today anyway. So you're just a kid, right?"

"Uhh, what?"

"You. You are just a kid, eh?"

"Older than you-"

"But younger than your _siblings_ , aren't you?" He doesn't say anything. Nothing at all. He's got the most uncomfortable sensation like she'd know if he lied and told her that wasn't true. He's physically older than most of his siblings, but, yes, he's the youngest. He was turned last. It just makes sense with his hulk to play him off as older.

"...Can we go back to dragons?"

"Is your _'mom'_ hot too?"

"Is yours!?"

"Obviously. I mean, like, uhm der, dost thou have eyes? My diddy is a handsome and my muma is a beautimous and together they're Captain Planet- which is me, but minus Heart cuz I ain't no pussy. SO. About your mom..."

* * *

Jessica Stanley decidedly did not like the Cullens. Like, at _all_. And it's strange, at least she thinks it's strange, this dislike. See, Jessica tries to be a better person than the majority of her peers. Now, she _tries_ , ok? Self-appointed gossip queen, sure, but bad person? Not really. She's just a human being with a tendency to be a tad nosy, but she's never malicious or cruel about things. She leaves that to Lauren.

Lauren enjoys making people miserable, Jessica just likes to stay in the know. There's like, so many rumors she's refused to pass on cuz that shit was hella off the mark and just mean. She's _not_ mean, ok? Petty sometimes, like for serious she can be über petty but only about shit that's important. Like, if people try to fuck with Angela. Angela is a saint. Off limits.

But she's not being petty about the Cullens. This isn't some angsty protest against the various rejections she's received from that beautiful family, those she's bothered to try and ask out. Those rejections had never stopped her from admiring them from afar. The Cullen Clan - was it ok to say that? Like, ok, but like it just _fit_ , right? - were easy to admire and so she knew it wasn't her being petty about that.

Like they were all super hot and she was a girl enough to usually feel self-conscious and jealous of shit like that - she was petty about important shit, yeah, but she wasn't a _saint_ (once again, that was all Angela; was it any wonder why her name meant angel?) - but something about them... It was like admiring Nicki Minaj for her ass or boobs, they were in your face like DAYUM but they were fake. Not to say the Cullens were fake just.

Something about them was entirely unreal.

So yeah she wasn't being petty about their beauty. It wasn't the rejections. It wasn't even that unnameable(like, was that even a word?) creepy quality of theirs that tempered every affection she might otherwise harbor for them. When you got right down to it and boiled out the 'what ifs', this dislike, this hot tight feeling in her chest as Emmett Cullen strolled into gym late, was due entirely to the brunette slumping in beside him.

It was difficult, being attracted to women. She swore she'd not always been. Or maybe she'd just never paid attention until that one confusing wet dream involving Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale. There's no telling when it started but it did and she'd worked through it. With the help of Angela - it cannot be stated enough that Angela is all that is good in life, like, she's the daughter of a holy man and she'd NEVER told Jessica she was going to Hell for her confusing feelings - because everyone needs a shoulder to cry on and an ear to talk to that won't be likely to spill your secrets (cough, Lauren, cough, cough).

So it wasn't entirely new, finding another female attractive just.

It was fucking weird. And it was fucking off topic. She was trying to convince herself she wasn't a bad person for hating the Cullens. Because she was a lot of things but she wasn't hateful and she _despised_ them. It felt like poison in her veins. And it was sudden and new and she couldn't help it. The wash of rage at their entry had overtaken her and the thought had roared through her head,

**_I fucking HATE you._ **

It made her feel slightly sick. Nauseas. She didn't like hatred. She didn't like how strong it was and how it tried to convince her to go make a fool of herself, because despite what people wanted to think of her she wasn't stupid. She was smart and observant and-

If Emmett didn't step the fuck away from Bella she might start shrieking uncontrollably.

"Hey!" This was casual. This was SO causal. "Hey Bella!" This smile was natural and fit comfortably on her face. Well, it did fit quite a lot more comfortable when the brunette in question swiveled her head about with a huge smile of her own and waved.

"Yo!" She turned and started jogging over, a hand flashing up to keep her snapback from flying off her head. Jessica noticed, with not the smallest amount of nearly orgasmic smug joy, how disappointed Emmett looked. And then Coach Ornell showed up to chew him a new ass hole. The smile she wore was turning a little too pleased.

_So much for being above petty bullshit..._

"Jeeeeeeesssssicaaaaaaa!" Bella smashed into her, squeezing her into a fierce hug that lifted her off her feet, even spinning her around until she shrieked with laughter and demanded to be put down. "What's wrong baby? Don't ya love my embrace?"

_Yes God yes if I could explain how much I loved it I-_

Jessica flicks her hat up, trying for an unimpressed expression.

"Oi!" Bella's indignant squawk breaks a smile over her face, however. "So mean! And here I thought you missed me, maybe I should just go back..." She didn't say who or where to, but the glance in Emmett's direction made it pretty clear. Jessica had a cat, all black except for the white tip of her tail. Her name was Jett. She was almost entirely certain all the hairs on her body had stood up - that is to say, her hackles rose and she had _never_ felt more of a need to hiss and spit like a pissed off feline.

"Nah, fuck that," she was doing a remarkable job sounding chill and entirely unruffled. This definitely didn't bother her. Nope. Not at all. "I wanted to keep you for myself today."

"Oh yeah?" The grin that spread over Bella's features as she turned back to Jessica couldn't possibly be more pleased.

"Yeah. A little fairy told me you're a fan of trap music?" And there it was.

Bella had this something about her, something similar to the Cullens. Not in that creepy, uncomfortable, plastic-ish fake sense or the danger sense ( _danger? Did I say danger?_ ) - No, it was something. Something else. Something other. Something- _SOMETHING_ that called and crooned and drew her in. Some animal something that was, altogether, strangely-

"Why Jessica," Bella breathed, drawing nearer. "Are you trying to seduce me?" That sounded about right. Something _seductive_. She couldn't tell if it was intentional. She couldn't tell if she was crazy but Bella- "I think you are, you awful minx. Do you even know any rappers?"

Jessica huffed, then scoffed. Crossed her arms and struck a power stance, chin lifting eyes flashing in challenge. How dare Bella insinuate she was lying! She'd done nothing to prove herself anything other than a perfectly honest person. Well, sure she didn't look like the type taken with rap, but she'd dated Tyler when they were in middle school and while that'd never panned out, they were still friends and influenced each other's musical tastes.

And, ok, so how could Bella know that when it was only her second day? She couldn't. It was still rude to assume though.

"How 'bout... Kevin Gates, Brother Ali, J. Cole, MF Doom, aaaand Immortal Technique?" That was pretty diverse. Bella's eyes lit up, her mouth first dropping open in shock before closing and twisting into a smirk.

 _Yeah,_ Jessica decided as Bella did that thing where she somehow slid closer but without it feeling like she was crowding, _definitely seductive_. And her eyes were smouldering like _crazy_ and-

"Goddamn do I respect the shit outta you, kid," Bella bumped her chin with a knuckle, quickly breaking that weird tension she herself had started. And like that Jessica felt the oddest wave of cold. Like someone had shoved a blanket in a freezer for an hour then draped it over her shoulders. Like all the blood in her extremities had left after the most dizzying dead sprint through a snow drift.

Bella didn't notice, her cheeks flush and looking super pleased, like she'd just gotten a good fuc-

"So listen, cutie, I gotta go get dressed but then I'll be back to finish up this conversation. So don't forget." She nodded dumbly, mute. And Bella walked away and. Something. Something weird had just happened and she. She needed to. Uhh.

... what? She was. Worrying about something. Something important...

Something Bella...

_Man, all this running is tiring me out._

Good thing she'd have Bella to run with soon. She was a great partner. Cute and funny. Maybe not as nice as Angela but still super sweet.

* * *

She leaves gym like, ten thousand times better than she went in. She theorizes it's cuz she totally almost kissed Jessica. Right on her enticing mouth. It'd been a sudden urge that had come after the sassy brunette had listed off a few of Bella's favorite rappers with little prompting and like, they weren't particularly mainstream either.

Eww. Oh God Eww. That statement was so heavy and hipster it weighed exactly one instagram.

Guh-ross.

But yeah, flirting yo. It _always_ gives her energy. She certainly didn't feel the strain of a sleepless night anymore but hey, she was young and indestructible right? Nothing could stop her, nope. She was-

_I was wrong. I was soooo wrong._

She was so far from indestructible. She was, at this exact moment, about as strong as a wet tissue. She was. She was.

She was sitting between Alice Cohen and Rosalie err, Hayden. (God damn it)

She'd forgotten, ok? Yesterday Alice had been absent, and it'd only been briefly mentioned and honestly after having (getting?) to deal with Rosalie just by herself yesterday, her brain could not logically understand more stress. So, totally not an excuse right now, her brain had considered the information of the second partner unimportant and discarded it. Yup. That's not really forgetting. That's an unforgiving autopilot feature of her super duper smart brain.

Yay.

"You know," she was proud that she didn't jump and flinch and yelp when she is pushed forward. Though gently, which, like, fuck yeah that was super nice. "I didn't really pay attention in the teacher's lounge when they were gossiping about your door-lurking habits..."

"Holy cheese, if it isn't the famed," she paused to gasp dramatically as she spun on her heel, throwing her arms out in a grand gesture. "Amelia Walters! So glad I ran into you-err, well you into me I suppose."

"I must say I return that sentiment. You really gotta work on that whole door stalking routine, hon. God forbid I'd been late!" Ahh, err. Well yeah ok that was fair. She had been barring like two thirds of the class entry. The Coleman's were captivating like that. In that dragony sense of, 'Absolutely do not take your eyes off me if you wanna live'. And she'd forgotten she sat between two of them. And maybe if she said that a few more times it wouldn't feel so surreal and dreamy. But not good dreamy. Dreamy like, too fucked to make sense kinda dreamy.

On the bright side, at least she's not partners with the Perpetual Wince in Evans. That mother fucker knew where she lived n shit and like, so he hadn't tried to approach her like whatever she was starting to believe hadn't actually been her imagination, but. Still. The others set off danger senses like crazy, but he set off whole palaces and forts and garrisons of danger sense. Like. Shit man. Jus fuckin'...

"Whoops," she hears herself say, blinking back into her conversation. "Yeah I'm pretty bad about that. Workin' on it, though! Err, so I had a question- well, more of a request, really."

And the fine lady doth regard her rather suspiciously. It's a good thing she does, she absolutely should - from the way her eyes bounce between Bella and the Dragon Sisters, she even seems to understand what this request will be about. So she slides in close, not so close to be inappropriate but close enough to hiss,

" _Don't you back out on me Bella. They're both here, do you even understand how rare that is!?_ "

And if Mrs. Walters only knew they were dragons, like Bella did, she would understand that no amount of hissing whispers could keep what she said from their ears. Two sets of gold eyes turn to them and Bella gives 'em a look over Mrs Walters shoulder. Her brows crawl up and her hands find her hips and it's the kind of look you give a person that really shouldn't be eavesdropping but you know they will probably continue to do so.

Rosalie, fucking wowzers, ROSALIE had enough grace to turn her face in shame to pretend she's not listening. It's Alice that meets her stare. Challenging. And, ok, so challenging a Dragon to a staring contest sounds like a bad idea but.

Fuck it, whatever, everybody's gotta die somehow, right? Not like she's looking to live forever.

"Not tryna back out," Bella says. She's supposed to be telling this to the teacher but it feels like she's saying it to them. Rosalie watches from the corner of her eye. "'m just lookin' for a little extra to sweeten the deal."

"Oh," Mrs. Walters is confused. Incredibly. "Well. I guess that's fine. But, extra what?"

"Oh I just want the muffins regardless of a failing grade. Like, I mean, let's be real. I'm kinda deserving of it. I'm doin' all the hard work here." Nobody else was risking their skin to tame dragons. And to be perfectly fair, no one was forcing or even asking her to... but fuck that shit, she wanted some homemade cranberry muffins just for showing up!

"It's only your second day to be getting so demanding," she broke eye contact with Scales and Tails, grinning at the unimpressed redhead.

"Well behaved women rarely get what they want." Slightly impressed. Well, maybe not impressed. Definitely amused though.

"I don't think that's the way the quote goes..."

"I was free-styling." Mrs. Walters snorted, rolling her eyes. She turns away from Bella, moving over to her desk to set down a pile of papers. "So is that a no...?"

"That's a, _Get to your seat_ , Miss Swan," she doesn't even turn around to deliver this final blow. Busy pretending to look busy so Bella won't see her wicked grin when the brunette in question starts to whine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got through TWO classes yo! It might not take four chapters for this school day to end like last time!!!! Which is good I have other things I want to do with this. School is a pain to write when you're in it never mind when you haven't been in a handful of years.
> 
>  
> 
> Seriously I am fucking this all up I really can't Thank y'all enough for sticking with me on this. Did you guys see all the awful foreshadowing? So so bad. I love you all, stay wonderful star babies.


	11. Various states of limbo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange things are afoot in Forks High. People aren't dead, just existing on separate plains of reality.
> 
>  
> 
> OR
> 
> Forgetful vampires and Bella reveals her super duper top secret info to the vampires in question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what you're thinking: Surely Starr can't get worse with foreshadowing?
> 
> WRONG!
> 
>  
> 
> Have i yet mentioned how much of a pain it is writing high schoolers in high school when i haven't been in any type of school system for like three years or more, nevermind the last time i stepped foot in a high school?
> 
> If I am dumb and stupid and made mistakes, please yell at me like so: FUCKING IMIHHGUFDDCYNKJHJHGGFYDYBINOHDSSSQWERFGzHJKKIIHMN FUCK

This was new.

Ok, so like. Today was weird, firstly. Life, it seemed, had this funny -  _HILARIOUS,_ really - joke of fucking around with her but never in entirely direct ways. Well. Usually anyway.

In her life, short and dirty though it be, she'd had one major... let's call it attraction. This...  _attraction,_  this entity, this person that had been.  _Important_. To her, had made her body react in strange ways she'd never before experienced. The kind of girl that was rad, rad as Hell, so cool so beautiful inside as well and, God oh God how she-

_OK STOP. Back away bitch, deep breaths, focus on why this is important._

That, attraction, had made her skin buzz. Lounging against each other on a couch, everywhere they touched the nerves felt alive, like, live wire sparking with voltage fucking ALIVE! Like her skin was hot and cold and needed to be touched and touched and fucking-

Her sides were going  _crazy_  right now. Like. Ok, so it was kind of dizzying. And, dog on a log, she felt like she was in an ice box AND hurtling into the sun. And it was wrong, this was all wrong something was-

"Ok, judge me," she growled and, seriously this was not her what foul demon was speaking with her mouth and her buried thoughts, "But if you're gonna eye fuck me, take me to dinner first, 'kay?" Well. So maybe it was her, but she'd promised herself she wouldn't talk to them, ok!? She'd made enough of an ass of herself yesterday, thank you very much.

Silence. The stares let up in intensity and that was fucking awesome, for reals. Then the fantastic fire-breathing bitch scoffed,

"We're not-"

"Then let up with the threats, I'm sofa king sorry 'bout embarrassing myself yesterday hop OFF my dick!"

More silence. Mrs. Walters was gonna notice none of them were listening to instructions. Then Alice,

"We're not-"

Now Bella scoffed. Eyes rolling. Surely she was possessed, for how could she roll her eyes when she  _swore_  she wouldn't? Demons and witchcraft. SATAAAAAN.

"Hate liars," she muttered to herself, but still loud enough for them to hear, "I mean, I'm a-  _whatever_ , lying to me is worthless. What would I, of all people, gain from your truths? As much as I'd gain from the lies - the blackest, most metal gift of all, that's what!"

"...And what's that?" Alice bites this question out, but a glance shows how her eyes burn with curiosity and, oh, poor sweet baby. Bella grins and it's a little wild, telling her, telling both of them,

"Absolutely nothing!" And then, beyond all measure of what is fair and right in this world, quiet laughter. But not from her surprisingly, unusually quiet cinnamon bun, no no. She knows she gives herself whiplash from the harsh jerk of her head snapping up to face Rosalie's equally surprised gaze. Is. Is that a smug smile she feels sneaking upon her face? "Told ya I'd get a laugh."

Rosalie's quieter scoff and rolling eyes are immediately followed by a scowl that brings to mind one highly important thing-

"Wait, you laughed at a Metalocalypse joke." Rosalie doesn't get embarrassed, apparently. Not that Bella expected her to, Metalocalypse is fucking brilliant but. It's just. She looks slightly embarrassed or just, hand-in-the-cookie-jar, sorta. But she doesn't blush. Which, like shit dude, that could totally be due to the scales.

The scales might also contain their inner fire, making them remarkably cold to the touch. Right?...

She shoulda asked Tiny more questions.

But seriously, no blush! Now that she thinks of it, Tiny hadn't even pinked when she'd shouted at him in the mess... This was scientific evidence of Dragonkind, surely.

"I have television too," What? Oh, oh right. She was peopleing(people-ing?) right now, having full conversation n sich.

"I mean yeah, but you just don't seem the type to..." Jimmy cracked skulls and one was hers; she was obviously delusional with a mild concussion and losing her mind there was NO WAY she'd gotten Rosalie to laugh  _and_  smile in less than five minutes. Ok, so yeah the smile was predatory and haughty but. Smile is as smile does err whatever.

"Think I can't handle blood?" There's an unspoken patronizing ' _sweetheart_ ' in there somewhere, she just knows it.

"We're both woman, darlin', we've been handling blood since puberty." Yup. All that sleep she didn't get last night was finally catching up to her. Rosalie was outright grinning at her and she was. Welp, she was really wishing right about now that she had some scales. Blush game too strong. Seriously, she's pretty sure her heart skipped a beat.

_Dargon likey blood. Me likey dargon._

" _'m so fucked_." And it just slips out under her breath but two real-fake lizard peeps hear it cuz, fuck her and life isn't fair. "Jesus, what'd I say about the eye-fucking?" She was just a girl, damnit! This attention was making her head go dumb... or, ok and this was actually a big possibility, she was just dumb to begin with and they used Dragon magic to make her dumber. Like. Uh. Like some Pern-ass Dragon mind magic.

And there were five of them... Did that make Rosalie the golden queen? Did that make Tiny her bronze mate!?... damn, they'd make amazing eggs though. Maybe she could be a rider!

"Dude can I ride your egg babies?" She should stop talking so much. She honestly couldn't control the words coming out of her mouth on a good day. Never mind the days like these. Was it appropriate to think of this as word vomit? "Geez n crackers, that sounded much more sane in my brain."

"... egg babies..." Alice, by the rain gods blessing this haven-like town, spoke for this first time since she'd seated herself. Err. Well, second time actually( _Third time, you fantastic fucking retard_ ). And it still barely counted as speaking with her.

"Just don' worry 'bout it, hmmkay?" She shot the dark haired little Dragon an easy smile. The one she received for her efforts was tense, strained in a way that showed a very clear  _something_  had come between them. The kind of uneasy smile you give to the guy with a knife in his hands and crazy in his eyes. And first off-

WHAT THE FUCK! Alice doesn't even  _know_  her like that, like for serious they've known each other for like a total of three hours? If even? And, come the fuck ON, Alice had been the one tryna get closer to  _her_  yesterday, not the other fuckin way around!

Secondly - FUCK YOU ALICE YOU'RE A FUCKING DRAGON YOU HAVE STRAIGHT MURDERED PEOPLE.

Does she even need to say she lost her smile almost as soon as she got wary-face from Alice? She has to bite into the furious words that tickle at her tongue, bite until they bleed and die and she can swallow them back. She turns to face the teach cuz like, yeah she's totally a good student. Tried not to notice the dirty looks Rosalie is shooting Alice "discreetly".

And yes the irony is not lost on her.

"Uh, Bella," oh Rosalie, sweet Rosalie. How did twenty four hours change her so hard? Hesitant AND speaking to her of her own volition. Seriously. "I wanted to apologize for the way I acted yesterday."

This was a strange sensation. Like, a rush of blood to the head but also that release of pressure after an airplane ride. Sound and clarity and confusion and a blur of what was real and was that her life flashing before her eyes? She might actually, actively be dying right now. Fucking Christ, she'd only had two cups of coffee this morning! She-she hadn't had her grubby fingers on hardcore drugs in  _months._

She tried to not obviously reach up and rub her thumb beneath her nose, disguised the maneuver as itching at her nose. And, no, there wasn't any blood or brain matter leaking out.

Aneurysm? Wait would that make her nose bleed or...?

"-and so I thought it only fit I should apologize." Jesus she'd missed the whole thing. THERE HAD BEEN A WHOLE THING. Dead. She was literally dead. She was dead and this was a death vision-hallucination. Maybe a dream. Hell, she could be in limbo. So that meant.

"This is a test!" It made perfect sense! It was so OBVIOUS, she was clearly stupid for not realizing it earlier. And maybe she shouldn't have brought that thought out into the open air between her and two deadly lizards that may or may not breathe fire.

"... excuse me?" Did her death-vision versions of these two know they weren't real? They probably thought they were real; it would make the experience more genuine. Death-vision Rosalie truly was a vision, a quickly-drawing-closer-to-pissed vision of beauty.

"Ahh," she laughed, sheepish, spearing a hand through her hair and thoroughly mussing it up before leaning forward against their table, bracing her elbows against it and propping her chin on her folded hands. "That probably sounds a little callous but  _this_  is gonna sound a lotta crazy.

"I died last night. Something crashed through my window and popped my head like a grape. Which sucks cuz I realized only afterwards exactly  _what_  you guys are." Here she paused again, hands falling to the cool plastic surface of the table, fingers curling and uncurling while she watched them, suddenly fascinated by what her mind had conjured up.

_So lifelike. It's no wonder I thought this was the real deal._

"But you shouldn't be apologizing. Not to me, not when you did nothing wrong. I'm sure your memories are perfect but I think you're remembering it incorrectly."

And here she looks up, eyes fierce and full of fire, unflinching even in the face of whatever storm is brewing behind Rosalie's darkened eyes. Glittering and creeping closer to fathomless pits of black, lips beginning to peel back in a snarl

"I pressed and pestered and demanded attention from you. Smiles, laughter. I begged and still pouted when I couldn't. But, despite being a Dragon, you're still a  _person_ , ya know? And it's not right to force anything of a person, never mind emotion or emotional connections. I was wrong. You aren't mine because people can't own people and even if they could it'd be terrible and just- no. I shouldn't have continually asked and begged for something you weren't willing to give, especially when you'd already made it clear you had no intentions of giving it.

"So, Rosalie Hale-" HOLY FUCK BRAIN, BRAIN DID IT BRAIN FUCKING REMEMBERED HER NAME, "If you would be willing, I'd only like your forgiveness for my transgressions against you."

* * *

Alice felt the strangest foreign sensation. Memories of her human life are. Muddy is a word that feels like it fits quite well. So they're muddy, muddled things. Flashes of color and muffled, garbled sound. She can't remember more human feelings like nausea or general sickness. She'll never know if she had allergies and how awful those could or couldn't be. She'll never know if cancer ate at her flesh and bones and soul until some blood craving good-Samaritan came upon her hapless plight and took it upon themselves to pardon her from her prison of mortality.

But she would swear this is what it feels like when a human being is about to vomit.

And then her brain, having given up at some point between,  _"...exactly what you guys are"_  and the end of the rather astounding apology from a girl wanting of smiles, it clicks some important key words into place,

"Did," Bella is slow to swing her head back around to Alice. She looks weary and wary but still manages to offer up a smile that feels too warm. Especially considering how Alice had been regarding her since she walked in. "Did you just say Dragon?"

Bella's eyes don't widen, her mouth doesn't drop open in shock. Her smile does smooth away as she turns the rest of her body to fully face Alice. She's thinking. But then, a single, slow nod. Her eyes cut to Rosalie's. She'd watched her blonde covenmate start to lose composure when Bella had stated that she  _KNEW_. Looking at her now, Alice would declare it actually  _is_  possible to fry a vampire's brain without heat or fire of any sort.

"You eat people and/or large game, live forever but grow bored with opulence and loneliness so you attend school, you don't sleep- am I wrong yet?"

"No, but-"

"Alice!" Rosalie hissed, finally snapping back to attention from whatever safe space she'd retreated to in her mind to reboot safely.

"What? She already knows-"

"Yeah but-"

"She. Already.  _Knows_ , Rosalie," as in, shut your big fat (beautiful, lovely) mouth and just  _roll_  with it. Dragons. She thought they were dragons. Jesus tap dancing vampire Christ. Jasper had freaked her out over  _nothing_. She knows, he says. Hah!

"I'm not going to tell anyone, ya know?" They both snap back to Bella, calm cool Bella cradling her chin in her palm, pretending to pay attention even as they forgot themselves, where they were and how they were supposed to act. "It's like I said - I gain nothing from your truths, and besides that they aren't mine to share. You're safe with me. I'll guard you."

"You stupid noble human," and Alice can't be certain it's her who says it or Rosalie. It pulls Bella's mouth into a very amused smirk. She shrugs, casting a warm gaze upon them both. Too warm. She's being serene as-

"You think you're dead," It's Rosalie that barks this out. Bella's smile melts away, face clearing then pinching. Confusion mars her features.

"I  _AM_  dead."

"No. You aren't. Trust me," Rosalie almost looks like she's smiling, but they all know it's anything but. "I would know." And then, finally, a reaction that makes sense - Bella's eyes, those ever drooping eyes of hers, blink rapidly, then go so wide Alice half expects visions of them popping straight out of her sockets. Those visions don't happen, she calms herself and nods, letting out a breath,

"That's fair," her cheeks color, she mutters, " _Glad I could be an even bigger ass today. Mission fucking accomplished._ "

"Don't think about it too much," Rosalie coos at the girl. And, so Alice does understand where Bella's coming from - nobody outside of their family were ever privy to Rosalie's spectacularly soft heart or that delightfully playful side kept alive and young between the combined efforts of Emmett and herself(and to a lesser extent, the other members of the family). Because this is strange and she knows this is strange. Yes, she'd done her damndest to make Rosalie feel bad today but.

" _Rose?_ " Too low for Bella to hear, she hopes. Bella is a strange little duckling, though, so Alice watches her carefully to see that, indeed, she can't and won't hear them now.

"Hmmm?" Bella glances at the blonde by her side from the corner of one eye, finding the lovely lizard lady staring right at her. A brow creeps up. Her face colors again. Rosalie flashes a smile and it widens when that manages to darken the blush on Bella's face, but neither look away from each other.

OK, so trying to whisper with Rosie wasn't gonna go too well right now. How...?

_Uh, der, seer!_

She lets her eyelids droop a little, so it looks like she's lost in thought versus locking up with visions -

"Mrs. Walters?" Alice stands up too quickly, nearly knocking her chair into the floor except for her superior reflexes. "I'm not feeling well, can my sister escort me to-"

"You have five minutes Alice. Take anymore and we'll have issues." It wasn't quite a threat... but it definitely was. She did feel bad for their teachers but it wasn't like they could just,  _Hey thought you should know we're angsty teenage immortals prone to gobbling hemoglobin and sometimes we have very human moments that must be taken privately thank you._

Rosalie sighed, rather unwillingly tearing away from her unspoken staring contest to scowl at her little sister, even as she obediently rose to 'escort' her outside the classroom. Alice took lead, pulling them into the nearest bathroom and locking the door. She doesn't check the stalls, knowing there's no-one in them.

"What's-"

"Are you ok?" Rosalie wants to be annoyed. She really does. But Alice is sincere, rising on her tiptoes to cup one of her cheeks, gentle in turning her face to study her eyes and features. Everything is normal, nothing is wrong but. Sometimes it's easy to forget that Alice really is a sweet little doll. She offers a smile.

"I'm fine Alice," and the littlest Cullen does look skeptical. Rosalie laughs, reaching up to hold Alice's hand against her cheek, threading their fingers. " _Really_ \- what's up?"

"It's just," her face doesn't color, neither of their faces can, but it contorts and Rosalie understands she's embarrassed. "You're. Being nice." One of her brows jumps up, she almost scowls but for the way Alice ducks her head and hunches her shoulders.

"I keep forgetting something," she finds herself saying, squeezing but lightly at their joined hands, still pressed against her cheek. "Something important. About humans."

"Oh?" Alice has relaxed again, allowing a serene, knowing smile to grace her delicate features. Rosalie muses, as she is oft to do, that Alice missed her calling as a fairy.

"Hmm," She nods, a smile splitting her lips to bare her teeth. "We came from them. We were once mortal and foolish and stupid. And we still are now, foolish and stupid at least. And. They're sad things, restless and reckless and. And sometimes they seek death.  _Wish_  for death..." Her smile dwindles, eyes darken. "Sometimes I wish for death."

"But mostly you wish for life, for you know too well what it is to die." The way Alice says it, it's almost a question. Rosalie tries to smile but it's a terrible, sad affair

"This mockery of limbo has some advantages, I suppose," she remarks, that terrible smile twitches towards something more genuine. Somewhat. "If I've known you, if I've known our family, I can at least say that much." This was still odd. Off somehow. A niggling in the back of her brain, like a bug burrowing through her skull, warned that this was still incredibly strange.

The logic was there, full of holes, but there. And. And.

"So does this mean you accept that I was right?" She had something more important to say, she swore she did. This smug smile is. She's. HAH, Rosalie totally forgot she was trying to spite her. It's clear in the flash of true surprise, rapid blinking and settling of her features into something a little harder, closer to annoyed. Their joined hands drop.

"You're always right," it isn't a nice thing, though it sounds harmless enough. She has stopped trying to smile but honestly talking of humans never puts her in the sunniest of moods. Begs the question why she'd been trying in the first place...

_Something is missing._

"Did we forget something? "

"Unlikely."

"No, no I'm certain we've forgotten something." She pulled her fingers from Rosalie's, only to laugh and hold her hand out once more when that proved to upset Rosalie. She could be so sweet and needy sometimes. ( _Usually only when she was reminiscing but we didn't come here to..._ ) "We ARE forgetting something. I know we are I can  _feel_  it in my teeth we -"

The bell wails out the end of this class period.

"...we were only supposed to be gone five minutes."

"Yeah. Yeeaaah."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bells was going to call herself a liar in the first half of this chapter. Cuz. Ya know. 
> 
> Err, jeez I swear i had a thousand things to address here but never remember til later then get too lazy and forget and
> 
> WE'RE MEETING ESME NEXT CHAPTER STARR BABIES!!!! and possibly a Denali sister. Err. Welp anywhozzle, y'all stay fluffy n sweet like a decadent cake, hmmkay? Let me know how much I SUUUUUUUCK!!


	12. But there ARE worse ways to meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams can be important but are they really? 
> 
> Featuring: the barest hint of Denali, a pinch of Esme, and a few dashes of Edward Cullen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOOOAAAAA WHAT'S UP FUCKERS. Hiii i see you babies i see how thirsty y'all are for my special brand of trash. GET OUT OF MY DUMPSTER YOU CREEPY JERKS
> 
>  
> 
> Holy shit I'm so sorry this took this long I'm hoping the next won't i just got stuck i cannot express how many times i rewrote this one but it was SO MUCH. Finally this happened and I'm like, what, twelve chapters in? I figured it was time to start touching on plot, or what exists of it ;3
> 
> Yo, so the music Bella listens to this chapter is the Screaming Females. I fucking love them I'm going to a concert of theirs in a few months and I'm so hype (all their albums rock but Rose Mountain was the first one I listened to hashtag would recommend)

It's somewhere between admiring fine marble flooring and taking long lingering glances out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the positively stunning view outside that she realizes she's there again. Having the dream. She's dressed smartly in a dark blue suit and there's plain, handsome Joe McEveryman walking at her side. He's talking but it sounds a lot like the Peanuts parents. Warbling noise, syllables and sounds.

This part was an office building her mother had worked at in her youth. Office work had never suited mum and her stint with the company hadn't lasted very long at all, though she remembers the times she'd walked into the building well. Mostly because of that view and the overpowering stench of lavender that reminded her of a dentist's office.

And then, like clockwork, the distant sound of glass breaking. An alarm starts blaring, everything colored in shades of red as emergency lights kick on. Joe starts, and she thinks he should really be ready for these things as often as he's gone through them with her, but he's genuinely shocked. Then serious as he turns to her, so very serious. Grim.

"Come on," they're the first truly discernible words he says. They almost always are. "This way!" He waves at her in a sort of short, frantic way. Takes off running down the hall the exact direction they'd been meandering in and. And this is the part where she follows him. This is the part where she runs after him but it feels like she just can't run as fast as she knows she can. The part where they run and are inevitably too late. The part whe-

"No," She hears the word. Knows she's the one speaking, but she starts at the sound of her own voice regardless. This voice that is hers is different. Sounds like a recording. Sounds far away. "No!" Her brows furrow and her teeth grit and she might actually, actively be snarling at the back of the retreating McEveryman. "I know this building,  _better than you_ , and you're wrong!"

He doesn't slow or stop or check behind him to see if she's following, so he misses the middle finger she throws at him. Not that she waits to see his reaction, she turns on her heel and bolts the other direction. A nondescript steel door leads her to a stairwell she runs down like a woman possessed. She jumps the last five steps at the bottom, nearly twists her ankle, throws open the exit door-

The air outside is warm. Humid in a way that Arizona never was, though where she is now is very reminiscent of the back walkway from her old middle school back in Phoenix. So she'd bypassed everything she'd, she'd.

_Did I do it?_

There's a crowd down below, at the bottom of another staircase(another few staircases).  _The crowd_. But no movement, no running. No woman of mysterious origin.

_Did I miss her?_

Head on a swivel, she starts a cautious, slow trip down the first set of stairs and-

" _STOP RIGHT THERE!_ "

Her body responds before her brain can demand of it and she's sprinting. At the bottom of the landing in front of her the woman streaks past, all but a blur of dark hair and tanned skin. And for the first time in literally ever, as she grunts and feels a scream of pure rage building in her throat, when she demands her body to be more swift, it is. She takes those stairs like a champ and she's not quite hot on the woman's heels but she can see her.

Some part of her brain recognizes that the woman is naked and takes issue with this fact. The greater part of her is concerned with trying to run faster still just to catch up closer to her. As she throws out a hand she'd swear she feels the silk of the woman's hair brushing over her fingertips. Like smoke through her hands, grasping at it just makes it slip away and-

Panic.

They're drawing closer to the crowd now. The low murmur of people all talking over each other at once - or making a damn good effort to - growing louder and louder and her jaw cracks open to let out that shout building building building up in her throat. It comes out as a half-inhuman roar as she lunges forward. Silk over fingers, tickling her palms, she squeezes.

And she slams into the wall of bodies.

_No._

The woman is sliding through effortlessly, and maybe it's a trick of the dream but she would swear she can hear the sultry sounds of laughter from a beautiful naked woman, escaping once again.

_No no no._

She starts shoving and grunting and trying to follow, to squeeze in after the woman but all her pushing is for naught and all she truly manages is to yank her arm out from the cacophonous, shifting crowd.

_No no no no no no._

The panic is strangling her, She's trying to yell and make demands but she's choking on her words, just growling and grunting uncontrollably. It's unintelligible noise, wordless angry cries growing more and more hysteric as the slow shift of the crowd indicates the woman getting farther and farther away.

_No no no NO NO NO **NO NO NO!**_

And she's seized very suddenly, overcome by this force of will that is absolutely unwilling to watch this go down again. The panic swelling her throat, gargling her words eases and she sucks in a lungful of air to scream at the top of her voice,

"POLICE! I'M A POLICE OFFICER, GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY!"

And they do. Miracle of miracles, the crowd parts. She'd like to stand and gape at the sight of it, of them parting like some biblical scene, but more pressing matters are at hand and so she's off. Racing blindly after a woman for reasons she's not very certain of beyond that she needs to. That it's important. That it's the first time she's ever been  _able_  to.

And she lost sight of the woman in a city that's starting to look reminiscent of the streets of King's Landing. But there's an urgency in her, and a knowing, in her and in her brain. It's less of a voice and more of an urging sensation that begs she go in whatever direction it bids. And so she does and when she stops, it's on the inside of a completely dark building.

And apparently she really is a police officer. This dark blue suit had a nice shiny belt with pretty, convenient things strapped to it, one being a wicked flashlight she'd be able to club a person with as effectively as she could light a room with. And so this is her weapon of choice to check out the cavernous space. Immediately she's assaulted by the opulence of the place, the walls gilded and golden and absurdly extravagant.

There are finely woven drapes hanging over windows that must have been designed by masters and crafted over years of slaving effort. It's a ballroom or some bastardization of one. Everything about this room, from its plush indigo carpets covering the hard marble of one elegant, winding staircase to its vaulted ceilings depicting angels and evils, could be gaudy imitations of regal houses she'd seen in history books.

It must be.

It's her own mind, isn't it?

She prowls up the stairs to a grand set of doors, gilded or pure gold like everything in this place, and shoulders one open. The room beyond is lacking any windows at all, draped in reds and silks and full of a thick, cloying scent like powerful incense. She thinks now, as she steps inside, that this could be wrong. A dead end.

But the circle of light she sweeps over couches smothered in half-translucent drapery catch feet tucking themselves up out of sight on one particular cushion.

"Police," she grounds out, coming closer. There's no shifting of the shadowy form behind the curtain. "It'd be easier if you just came out..." It's still and silent. She creeps closer. Hand balling around a bit of curtain, "Last chance!" She warns and receives her only answer thus far in the form of quiet laughter. She yanks the curtain back-

Eyes like opals and a mouthful of teeth that can't be called a smile greet her from a face that is startlingly familiar. The woman, and she is naked, carries nothing in the hands she throws up in a placating gesture.

"Where is-"

There is no warning, no tensing muscles or animal snarls before she's on her back and one of those innocent, placating hands had been shoved into her abdomen. The nails on the woman's hands are sharper than anything so the initial slice is as nothing to the agony of her burrowing through organs and tissues to grab hold of her heart. She can't even scream. Goes to suck in a breath to belt one out but it's not air filling her lungs.

Just blood.

She gurgles, chokes and growls and watches the eerily smiling woman with eyes that can't decide on any one color as she leans closer, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

"I'll take it," she informs, lowly. Just barely discernible over the sounds of Bella drowning slowly, painfully. "I'm remarkable at it." She laughs again and Bella chokes again. "Taking!"

She wants to ask who the woman is, why why WHY she's doing this. She chokes out a gurgle that fills her mouth with the taste of hot pennies.

"I'll take everything," she reiterates and  _squeezes_. "I'll burn the world." She tugs and Bella gasps. Coughs. Blood dribbles down her chin - she can feel the heat of her life as it crawls over her skin to soak into the rug beneath them - and the edges of her vision start to go black. "And I'll give it all to _you._ "

The woman tugs again, harder, harder and there's a pressure in her as something resists, tears and finally gives. Bella's back bows as the woman, the woman that had wreaked such havoc through the amalgamation of her homes and hearts, rips out her heart. The woman sits back on Bella's hips and there is no pain, but the black edging her vision starts to creep faster still. She's laughing again, the sound as familiar as her face, bringing the organ to her mouth to tear off a chunk with her teeth.

Blood pinking her teeth and staining her lips, she smiles at Bella. Reaches out a hand to stroke a thumb over Bella's cheek, where a single tear has escaped. She's nothing but a pinprick at the last edge of Bella's consciousness by the time she's leaned herself back down, brushing bloodied lips over that same cheek, to coo in her ear,

" _Because I love you._ "

* * *

It was misty, so fucking misty. The air is humid and maybe that's just nature's way of laughing at her, teasing her. The Universe at large knows she's stuck in her head space and it thinks that's funny. It thinks she should stay in there, wrapped in thoughts like she'd been wrapping herself in the old afghan.

_Nightmares suck. Donkey balls._

But running? Running had always been a special thing to her. And maybe she didn't quite have the sun beating down on her shoulders and sweet, near-unbearable hot air filling her lungs but. Well, the watery, dappled light of weak sun Forks had been kind enough to grace her with on this Friday was still a thing to treasure. And the heavy air tasted like wet earth and leaves and that was intoxicating in its own sense.

Foggy memories of chasing Jake through these trees, down overgrown walking paths and crashing graceless through undergrowth tickle at her mind, flash like grainy film against the back of her eyelids when she blinks sweat out of her eyes. And that's better, that's the best thing. She likes watching those, thinking about that, about the burn in her calves because she can finally finally run as fast and hard as she wants.

_What the fuck happened today?_

A breathless puff of air only she knows is laughter - well, her and the trees and the half-muddy, leaf littered forest floor - warms her lips and and she wants to mock herself. And so she does.

_Everyone started smoking weed, genius. What do you THINK happened today?_

Nightmares aside, she'd woken up and had an existential crisis upon brushing her teeth and finding something wrong with her face. Err. Right? Ah. Her tooth wasn't chipped. And it had been such a minimal thing in the first place, just a slight jagged ridge on the edge of it, but. But her fucking tooth had been chipped when she went to bed last night and this morning it fucking wasn't. When she ran her tongue over it, it was smooth calcium. Just undamaged bone.

But, she'd tried to convince herself, maybe she was just crazy. That fentanyl binge had been months ago but she'd still catch sight of moving shadows and not-there people out of the corner of her eyes now... So maybe she was just crazy! She'd wreaked havoc on her brain and body for the past four years and the repercussions would continue until death. She was just crazy.

_Even though Jake was the one to point it out in the first place..._

Fuck. Fuck and then school... Gawd, she didn't want to think about it, didn't want to think about anything anymore. Just wanted to feel and run and sweat and exist on the most basic level. Just wanted to lose herself in Marissa Paternoster's excellent vibrato and sweet fucking guitar licks.

That last one is much easier done than thought, cranking up the volume in her earbuds until it feels like the females are screaming right into her very soul. Her lips move, form the lyrics she's too out of breath to mutter to herself and the forest. Her eyes close and sweat trickles down the ridge of her nose and-

"JesusFUCK!" And maybe running with her eyes closed in a beautiful, dank forest was stupid. Things like uneven ground or, oooh say,  _roots_  happen to exist naturally in such a setting. This dirt tasted like mushrooms. Or maybe mushrooms taste like dirt?

_Probs chipped my tooth again, and wouldn't that just beat all?_

"Unless it fixes itself again?" She pushes herself up with a quiet sigh, pulling the other earbud from her ear. The right one had yanked itself out in her most spectacular trip and tumble, quite painfully in fact. She had it wrapped around the shell of her ear and- "Well I'm not bleeding, so that's something." Only sweat greets the fingers she rubs cautiously over her abused ear.

She sighs again, but a very unnecessarily dramatic loud sort as she shifts off her knees and settles her butt against the slightly damp ground. Her phone isn't broken. Headphones aren't. No chipped teeth no bleeding besides a nasty looking gash on her knee but it was all clogged with dirt anyway so that hardly mattered. She shuffles back, no doubt smearing mud on her comfy running shorts - the ones she'd stolen from mum when she was like, twelve - but she didn't stop until tree bark pressed itself against her spine through her already stained t-shirt.

And then she sagged against the wonder of nature and let her head tilt back as much as the knot of hair she'd twisted into a tight bun on the back of her head allowed. There was so much green above, like a curtain, a roof. Like a God damn rainforest canopy. She'd be surprised ( _But maybe not actually, ya know_ ) if there weren't undiscovered species here. And then she laughs and her own eyes close and she sees golden eyes,

"Here thar be dragons!"

So who knows, maybe dire wolves still lived, and in these very woods! She'd been binging GOT too much, clearly. S'probably why that part of her dream happened in-

"But what if it wasn't King's Landing?" And, oh man, and what if it  _literally did not fucking matter because it was a fucking DREAM!_  "I need marijuana."

Fanny packs were the truest hero's. Like an underdog, like a dark horse. Rising out of the shadows to be the most useful, most helpful. She shifts her trusty purple boy from its position on her hip to right below her belly, unzipping it and-

"Oh sweet biscuits, you're not hurt!" It was a little bent but her trusty bleezy was still intact. The flick of a lighter and smoke tickles the inside of her lungs. She plays the Dragon game by herself - _and what ELSE is new?_ \- as the tension in her shoulders releases and so her mind drifts, back to dragons as it is wont to do.

They'd skipped school today, missed all the drama, and she resented the shit out of that. She'd traded numbers with Alice in art and they'd flirted like a couple of goofs the whole time and some semblance of normalcy had returned to the chaotic spiral that had been her life for years (but especially in the last half a week, like yeesh what was even happening anymore?) and then today...

"I bet one of those scaly fuckers can see the future," she sucks her teeth, eyes cracking open and mouth twisting itself into a scowl that feels way too at home. She closes her eyes again, blows out a low hiss of a sigh and forces a small smile. Forces herself to relax back against the tree.

Today had been weird, super fucking weird, but ya know? Maybe it was a good thing the Ca- err... The Dragon's had high- _tailed_  (hehe) it the fuck outta dodge today. Maybe things would have been worse with them there. Maybe. Maybe. Just maybe-

"If they'd been there it would have been bearable!" She grumps, growling through her teeth as her eyelids split enough for the annoyed slivers of her eyes to glare at the leaves above. "Like, what the fuck!"

People had been weird all fuckin' day. Watching her like REALLY watching her and ya know when she was playing the role she usually did that wasn't unusual but the way they'd been watching. Like, it NEVER stopped. No blinking and when she'd tried to talk to Jessica and everyone they'd all just, like, flipped out! Not like yelling or whatever just. Stuttering rambling talking over each other at her, laughing too much trying overly hard to please and validate and-

Okay so she was sad and needy and hurting always hurting but this? This attention this this  _smothering_  she'd experienced today? All it did was make her lips curl, collect a bitter taste on the back of her tongue like a pool of bile. She liked attention, she loved and craved it and-

This was so much more. So much worse and. And even a few teachers had.

"Fuck," she pulls the blunt from her mouth and starts hacking on a harsh, heavy lungful of smoke. "Fuck fuck  _fuck_."

_I wish I'd just skipped today..._

She almost had. The nightmare the tooth. She'd already had a gut churning bad feeling in the pit of her stomach about going to school but it was her first fucking week, right? She was already a fuck up, already all fucked up in the head and putting it all on Pops because she couldn't stand putting it on her amazing, wonderful mom and her equally wonderful new husband anymore. She didn't want to start skipping.

Not this soon, at least.

She wanted, she  _needed_  Pops to trust her, to. To not shoot such tight-eyed smiles and worried, not-so-subtle glances at her over breakfast or dinner, when he thought she wasn't looking. She was a depressed stoner, not blind. He was a worried, police chief father, not blind.

They pretended not to notice noticing each other.

"I'm a shit daughter."

This weed was not helping.

Clearly she just needed music. Music and. Well she had forgotten to grab a bottle of anything to sip, so music was kinda it.

* * *

Edward can't see the future.

Can't feel the emotions of others.

Isn't particularly strong or soul-achingly beautiful.

He doesn't possess control unlike literally any conceivable other.

He doesn't possess a well of patience and love that spillith over every cup.

He's fast. And he reads minds.

And so it is that he is fast as he can be in whipping out a phone and calling frantically for the only person he knows is absolutely available. He can't see the future so he doesn't know for certain they anyone else is. He can't feel the emotions of others so he doesn't know what the feelings that drive his millennia old cousins to veer sharply off course and start moving so quickly even he struggles to keep up.

He's not strong, so the way he's struck across the jaw is an awful source of discomfort that makes colors flash behind his eyelids and his skin crack, almost crumble. He's not beautiful so when he cries out and calls for them they do not answer. He had no control and so the hurt is replaced by fury and Esme had answered his call but he crushes the phone in his hand with a snarl. He lacks patience and is wanting of love and so he lets out a roar.

He is not his siblings. He is not his 'mother', not his 'father'. He is Edward Mason Cullen. He is fast and he read minds and he is  _upset_.

Irina gets a swift kick to the jaw from behind.

Were he in any proper state of mind he might marvel to have caught the Elder off guard. Were he in any state of mind to think and breathe and use that wonderful logic he was so capable of when he wasn't angry and hurt and smelling something so sweet it makes his skin tingle and bones shiver, he might think about the fact the Kate doesn't even try to shock him when he tackles her and snarls in her pretty face and tears after her coven leader. Were he not Edward Mason Cullen, he might have thought better.

He might have spoken to Esme for a few seconds. Might have called Alice. Might have might have might have might have  _might have_

He  _is_  Edward Mason Cullen, however. And so he crashes into Tanya Denali like a freight train and with all the ruckus of such, full of rage and hunger and mere feet from Isabella Marie Swan.

Only the part of him that is conscious - and that part is always conscious, that portion of his brain dedicated to playing radio DJ to the constant stream of thoughts he's always receiving - can note Bella's thoughts. The way they shift and move and speak in a thousand voices about a million things and all at once,

 _"Well that just figures,"_  and the taste of smoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a lot has changed in my life. A new job, a birthday, other shit! I wrote the last nearly two an a half thousand words in the past three hours while drinking SOFA KING much. I haven't drank in forever so it's nice an, well i hope it didna spoil the story!!
> 
>  
> 
> It snowed tonight and they booted me outta work after an hour and a half lawl i know it's the South and not everyone lived two years in a snowy mountain town but come on like damn no one on my level!!!
> 
> Seriously though i cannot thank everyone enough for the support, the views comments all that shit y'all make my heart swell in the best way. Please stay sweet and warm and absolutely amazing Starr babies.
> 
> (Holy FUCK is that THE ONE AND ONLY WolfDragonGod I've admired for years noticing me?? Hiii senpai!)


	13. And this is why we can't have nice fings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First impressions are great but second impressions are OW-FUCK
> 
> Or,
> 
>  
> 
> The author laughed so hard at her own chapter title she couldn't possibly fathom explaining it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *And forty years later the author came back with the pack of smokes in hand and said,  
> "Daddy's home, have you missed me?"
> 
> Hi sweets, how are you enjoying camping out in the guest room? Feel free to leave at any time but also stay forever how have none of you gotten bored of waiting yet?!?!? Well it paid off. Ya welcome. ;3
> 
> I'm checking for mistakes but alas i suck please remember to scream at me if i goof!!

Everything slows.

Eyes black like tar and life find her and time is meaningless. This second stretches and the smoke burns in her nostrils, searing her lungs, obscuring everything everything but the sight of bared teeth and twisted features. Nothing moves except maybe she closes her eyes to give herself a moment, savoring the flavor of ash and fire, tobacco leaf and artificially added sweetness as it settles on her tongue.

That  _did_  just beat all, that  _did_  just figure didn't it?

And then her eyes open and everything is moving too fast  _she_  is moving too fast. So fast it should make her dizzy, so fast it's literally impossible. She's on her feet with a fist cocked back and she wails, at the absolute top of her lungs,

"NOT. WITHOUT. MY PERMISSION!"

And she's gotten into fights before. Not serious ones that ultimately led to her getting caught and in trouble, but she's thrown a punch or two in her life. She's decked some decidedly square-jawed Adonis' and walked away with little bruising on her knuckles. But, quite unfortunately, she's never really tried punching a dragon.

Fist meets face and he hits the ground and she's panting through gritted teeth and-

"Fuck!" Oh fuck oh God oh damn oh no oh no no no NO she did not just break her hand she didn't she couldn't- " **FUCK!** "

She cradles her hand to her chest, curling over slightly as dizziness and nausea crowd in and she heaves. Oh God, oh fucking actual Christ. It's broken it's definitely broken it hurts ithurtsithurtsithuuuurts. Her knees are cold, is she on the ground why is she on the ground oh God she can't stop fucking shaking she-

_Stop! Calm down! Breathe._

In.

And out.

Inhale.

And exhale.

Ok. Alright. Oh thank God her blunt is ok. With her good hand she scrambles for it, fitting it to her mouth - forest floor germs? What forest floor germs? - and hastily lights it. She is calm. All is well.

"What  _are_  you?" Oh right, lizard-breath had crashed into her life and tried to lunge at her in front of...  _More_  dragons?

"On the verge of vomiting." she mutters around her blunt as she settles back onto her bum, eyes hard. Dick harder. Legit, if she was not in unimaginable screaming pain, she might actually try to flirt cuz like, damn. This primordial beast crouching over her stricken brethren is super fine. But she  _is_  in pain, and the reptile she'd just introduced to the dirt  _is_  why she's in pain.

So they can both just go fuck right off.

Dad was never going to let her out of his sight. He'd probably try to make her stop smoking. She was going to ask about getting a job, a cat, a dog, and a turtle! She'd be lucky if he let her drive to school on her own anymore! And so with that in mind, she pulls the blunt from her mouth and settles a glare upon the astonished woman.

"Can you take," she gestures with her good hand at the, admittedly, handsome young drake holding his face and staring at her like  _she's_  the one that tried to kill  _him_  twice - yeah, she knows it's him, there's no question now that's he's tried a second time. " _That_ , somewhere? Preferably away from me?"

"I'm sorry," he mumbles and she squints at him, ready to scowl and growl and curse and. Oh wow was his face cracked? No, no that was stupid dragons aren't made of marble!  _Clearly_  those are the seams between his scales and she punched him so hard they shifted so it actually shows.

"You should be! My dad is gonna flip out when I come home with thi- _FUCK!_ " RIGHT right, probably uh, should not wave around smashed hand. "You dick." She whines, glaring but not hotly. More like an upset child that didn't get any cookies for dessert than a young woman on the cusp of adulthood that just shattered some amount of her fingers against his glorious jawline. And-

Goosebumps. Something cold like fear slithering up the spine.

_Shit._

"There are more of you aren't there?"

* * *

What. Have they.  _Done?!_

This this isn't. What kind of.  _How-_

"Nice place," and she doesn't even bite that out, no matter how it feels like bitter oil sliding off her tongue. Hell, she smiles when she says it! Because this place is decidedly, definitely NOT nice.

Well.

Ok, so it is actually very nice. Nice enough to earn the title of Swanky or even Ritzy. But it's just...

They  _ruined_  her remains. That rotting behemoth that she'd held such affection for, with its support beams exposed to the outside air sitting like an open ribcage, with its floors mushy and termite bitten, with its roof a new form of absolute destruction and promised pain should it ever fully collapse, it's all gone. This house is nice and new and clean. Crisp lines and lots of windows.

It's pretty and modern and she can acknowledge those things as being true but. This is not something she loves.

"Thanks," is the quiet, meek little chirp that comes from the youngest lizard monster. "Esme has been working her butt off restoring this property." He's been particularly soft spoken since she punched the shit out of him, not that she minds. The littlest fire breather could use some manners. She's still pissed. She had a right to be.

Her hand had stopped hurting but the fingers shouldn't be splayed out like that, all unnatural angles and bruising purple. She doesn't have the time to fix a smile like diabetic shock on her face and make him flinch, the front door bursts open and she stutters to a stop.

Fuck. Fuck!

"You!" She turns on her heel, leveling a glare upon the three Ancient drakes, planting her hands- " _FUCK!_ " Cradling her hand to her chest, glaring eyes tearing up, "You bag of asses! You're trying to eat me!"

One of them, one that's been eyeing her up like the tastiest meal and just. Well anyway that one laughs.

"If you're offering, I -OW!" The sound of FeMalfoy getting elbowed is incredible and she marvels that scales create such a fantastic racket. The fuck ever though that's not important,

"You brought me to a fucking lion's den! Well I never read the Bible but I'm NOT stupid, aight? Name ain't Daniel either. So thanks for literally nothing, as if I  _needed_  your help to die, I'ma go-"

"Rosalie will be here soon! An-and Alice!" Hah, the FOOL! The Queen of Mean and Lady Cinnamon Bun were lovely, it was true. But she was pissed and in pain and probably should call pops and tell him, err. Uhh. That she. Punched a tree? Damn.  _Damn!_

"Do ether of them have medical know-how? Like. Experience err-"

"Our dad's a doctor." Shit. Well how fan _fuckin_ tastic.

* * *

He's gorgeous. Like model gorgeous. Like silent-movie-era movie star gorgeous. She'd wanted to put young drake and elder young drake into dresses but this guy she'd prefer naked. Not even in a  _huuu-want-that-hot-dick-booooiiiii_  sorta way.

In a purely platonic, fear and awe sort of dealy bop. In the way that seeing this creature walking around in clothing befitting something well below his strength and grand Elder Dragon status was an actual insult and she was half disgusted that he felt the need to prance around dressed like this on a daily basis. She hoped,  _prayed_ , it was his choice to play pretend doctor.

He should be a king. He and his kind should  _rule_.

_Why don't you?_

She dare not ask. She's not the smartest, in fact she'd even say her ass is about as dumb as they come but like. Damn yo damn, she's not  _stupid_... Usually...

"Aren't you a bit old to be playing pretend?" Usually. But he just laughs it off. Even his laugh is pretty. It's like, for every pretty person she'd managed to stumble upon his week, they all squeezed out an amount of their beauty juices and this guy- yup you know what that wasn't gonna come out right she'd just keep that one in the ol' noggin.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean?" How the  _Hell-_

"Right. Cute. You're quite a bit younger than the Bombshell Triad downstairs but you're far older than the rest of your brood, hmm?"  _Usually_ , ok? The glance he pins her with comes from beneath his unfairly long lashes. It's not angry or interested. The smile he settles upon her is polite and little else.

And  _Gawd Dayum_  is it hot.

"Tell me something I don't know?" And that comes out as a genuine question. She didn't even know it could! That phrase is  _meant_  for sarcasm! If she didn't already know he was a dragon this is the moment where she'd question how human he totally definitely was.

Pfft.

"Centipedes scare me." He laughs, not unkindly. And did she mention how pretty his laugh is? She likes love songs and a sappy AF bodice ripper as much as the next horny teenager but like, his shit is  _poetry_. It's like if the way sunlight bursts through clouds had a sound it'd be his laugh.

"Any particular reason why?"

"Uhmm, you tell me one good reason why centipedes need more legs than the average crawler and I'll tell you it's wrong. I don't trust something wth too many legs to count on both hands." It's even prettier this time.  _How?!_  He's the least human of them all and he  _treats people as a doctor_. The people of Forks are practically begging to die.

Birds and feathers yo.

"Your turn," she's smiling and she knows it and she's not mad that she can't help it. He hums and wow, holyfugginshit, surprise surprise even his hum is lyrical. Fuck this guy.

"Your hand has already healed."

"No no, see you're supposed to tell  _me_  something I  _don't_  already know." There's nothing sharp about his smile or his eyes. It's more in the way his head lifts and tilts that tempts her to tremor quake shake and just in general lose her shit.

"You're human?" She will not snap at Elder Dragon. Not now not today not here nope nope nope.

"And you're a Dragon. Are you gonna re-break them or what?"

Honestly she'd noticed her fingers healing the second she sat her not-so-happy ass down on one of their unbelievably lush couches. She'd almost let herself panic and wail then but, ahh how being surrounded by the literal most dangerous predators on the planet really had a way of being way more important than allowing herself to have a  _well deserved_  breakdown.

"It will hurt-"

"Bru- err, dude, uhh,  _sir_. I can promise you it hurt very much breaking them I'll be _ **MOTHERFUCKING**_ -" OOOH. OH FUCKING JEEZ. Holyfuckingsweetjesus. " _Fine_. Oh, that's  _fine_. Ohoohoooo yupyupyup, fine. Finegood. Thank you, kindly sir. May. I have another?"

Had she mentioned how much she hates his stupid pretty laugh? Cuz it's not a lot but she's definitely starting to.

"Perhaps I should have warned-"

"OH REALLY! Ya don't  _say?_ " Stupid beautiful sun laughter. Blessed little - thinks he's  _sooo_  hot just cuz he is! Fuck this guy. No seriously. She wants to vengefully hate-fuck him. He's attractive but she's not necessarily attracted to him and like. It's just a really difficult sort of way to be but if she's not this she might puke right now he  _justbrokeherFUCKINGfingersandshemightreallygetsickshe-_

"So you never," she's still kinda gasping between words trying to reel that pain on in. "Told me something! So. Tell it. And. Keep holding my hand. Feels good."

He doesn't actually laugh this time, miracle of miracles. If he had she might have actually attempted to slap him but oh, broken fingers you silly bears. No he doesn't laugh he just. Kinda considers her? He considers something anyway and after a few long seconds of probably-awkward staring he admits,

"I was a pastor once."

She laughs so hard it makes her fingers throb, makes tears prick at the corners of her eyes. This guy isn't really real. He  _can't_  be.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It blows my fucking MIND how out of nowhere you guys popped up like daisies to remind me how much fun i have writing this silly shit!
> 
> far_from7, low-key, actually no HIGHKEYASFUCK you tickled me the prettiest pink. You're sweet and kind and I'm glad I managed to snag you. And dude I KNOW Bella. I'm mean like. I dunno, out of every story I have she's the least fictional character in them. Well, emotionally and backstory wise at least.
> 
> Hi Scout, hi i see you my child. Yours is the reason this is coming back today instead of tomorrow i was going to work on other things but i saw you after I got off work, laughed, and sat down with a drink and just went for it.
> 
> TheSmellOfBloodAndSand, ummm BADASS fucking name by the by, and you are inspiration. Scout made me finish this chapter, you made me start ;)


	14. A certain sort of charm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charming or bold or stupid, she knows too damn much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooooleeee shit you guys. FIFTEEN comments!?!? The dick is with you fiends!? I'm kind of genuinely concerned, WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!? GET OUT FROM UNDER MY FUCKING BED. 
> 
> That's right I'm talking to you, DemonKnightAlex so you tell your friends astronomeus77 and heiyue to get out too, don't think I didn't notice you TheSmellOfBloodAndSand samraven and Anon3, and i see you trying to hide behind my old keyboard far_from7, so you better tell KShaye Foxipaw olga90005 and Jessica that i see them too, and I SWEAR Klexakru Emjay if you don't tell Gothic_Phoenix to leave my taped up Folgers can alone EVERYONE is in BIG trouble!
> 
> Wooooh ok so now that I've noticed you all, forgive mistakes look forward to more rambling afterwards.
> 
> LAST MINUTE EDIT, that Damn Stacy ur dad comment? I was crying I laughed so hard

"You should probably go hunting," Kate was in charge of the television and she was wielding that power to the greatest of her ability. She'd started two comedy specials on Netflix just to change her mind both times. She'd flipped through some cartoons, all for naught.

She'd settled on that Voltron reboot he'd accidentally sifted through a few heads about. It's. Acceptable. Kinda funny. Kinda fun. Makes it seem like they aren't listening in on Bella in the kitchen chatting up Esme.

"We literally hunted on the way down, 'Ward-" Oh Kate is truly cruel! "Or did you forget?"

"I literally was not talking to you, or did you just assume...?"

"Ooh you're right, silly me how could I- Oh yeah! You actually actively did not use anyone's name."

Shit. She had a point. The grin on her face the smug  _Hah got 'im!_  ringing through her brain lets him know she knows.

"Fair," he concedes with a bob of his head. She's even more smug but her grin falters a little. She'd wanted him to get flustered so she could tease... "Carlisle. You need to hunt." He receives an odd look, a thought not his own drifts through his mind.

"I think I'll be alright," his Coven Leader says and it's slow and half uncertain. He'd hunted three days ago he didn't need blood why he felt, he felt...

_Empty. Starved. Dying of thirst._

"Strange," the man murmurs. He remains calm and cool and perfectly Carlisle on the outside but, Oh, unwillingly trespassing past the confines of his skull... "Well!" He succeeds on a soft smile, polite and well-practiced. "I do believe my boy is correct. If you'll excuse me."

And he rises from his seat to leave to hunt, but pauses.

"Ah, might you join me, son?" And he considers declining. He's not hungry even given their company. Which is strange enough but he's almost afraid to admit to that. But, ah, perhaps his Father deserves the most honesty, deserves to know that, besides the muting of her scent in his nostrils, he's no longer able to really read their fragile friend's thoughts anymore.

"I suppose I could," he offers his own false smile, the crooked sort meant to charm. Only Tanya seems to notice their odd exchange, Irina and Kate are too busy arguing the merit of Alura and Pidge hooking up over Pidge and Shiro. Very important stuff, obviously.

"Still hungry Eddy?" It's teasing and light like her smile, like every ounce of her expression. What she's thinking is,

_You're too calm to suffer by this scent._

"Well, it does call at me always, but I've missed my father you see." And what he means is,  _We need to talk in private, I'll let you know the necessities later._

And she knows. She's no overt powers, not like him Alice Jasper Kate so-many-of-the-Volturi and so-many-more, but she's been around quite a while. She's wise and observant and - her sisters are hardly ignorant slouches but they  _are_  absorbed, they're thoughts floating through so many seasons of a children's show - hardly needs something preternatural to clue in on all things Cullen.

"Naturally," a smile splits her lips and squeezes her eyes half shut it bisects her face so. "Well go on then!" She shoos at them, laughing, "Off you go!"

* * *

She can tell the second they leave. It's not like she's got a sixth sense for this sorta thing. Well, okay so that's not fair to say when five are the least amount of the most basic senses and everyone might really have, like,  _way_  many more but. Nine or twenty or some shit.

But! She wouldn't count this particular sensational knowledge of their position in the most immediate area around her as a sense. Just... Well ok so it's like definitely a sense but, uh.

Whatever! She knows when they leave. Her body unlocks, shoulders dropping just slightly from their tensed lift. The smile she'd plastered on her face for Mother of Dragons becomes something more genuine. And Lady Stormborn seems to warm and melt despite how chilled she unwillingly remains. Poor scaly babe.

"How are you feeling?"

There's still a little kernel of fear in her gut, refusing to digest and burning a hole through her stomach lining it feels like. She's half breathless and the modicum of control she has - plus a little something she likes to call Boner Strength - just allows her to regulate her breathing. So like,

"I'm alright," she shrugs and her head kinda cocks on her neck like it's boneless. She's smiling. It's good, this is good. She lifts her hand and wiggles her fingers and they're only sore not throbbing, screaming like they had been. This makes her heart actually skip a beat.

And like, fucking der Daenerys hears that. Hell the Targaryen Sisters in the living room -  _fuggin shit bruh is that the Voltron theme!?_  - probably heard that. So her smile falls a little and her shoulders bunch back up and-

"So when will the bacon be ready?"

_Bless you, dear._

"I'll know when I know, but basically ten fifteenish minutes." Brown sugar, red pepper flakes, throw it on a baking sheet in the oven, shit's like bacon candy. It's her favorite feel good snack and  _boy_  does she need to feel good. "It's too bad you can't eat it."

She gets a look that isn't quite surprised. The eyebrows quirk up though.

"You like your food a little more, ah,  _fresh_ , right?" And she receives polite laughter half hidden by a hand. She's not sure if this lady going demure is just for show or not but it grates on her way less than The Doctor had. It  _does_  still grate, though.

"You don't-" she sucks her teeth and kinda huffs out a breath, eyes cutting up to meet gold and she feels the way her brows furrow all frustrated. "I mean, this is your home ya know. You don't have to. Do this whole.  _Thing_. Ya know?"

The brows are cocked up again, somewhere high on her forehead and then. And then they drop and she  _really_  melts. Not literally just like. Mom used to burn bacon on the daily but her pancakes were fucking heaven; the way butter melts on a fresh hot cake from the pan, the first cut with a smear of syrup tickling her tongue, that's what the smile she receives feels like.

 _Comfort_.

She could actually strangle herself when she almost cries. Like what the actual fuck. There do NOT need to be tears in her eyes this is ridiculous Jesus fuck right now.

She jerks away to check the bacon not because it needs to be but because she needs to get a fucking handle over herself and whatever this shit is. It smells like bliss, the sound of it sizzling like music to her ears. Ooh in just a few more minutes...

"The same could be said of you..." she blinks and swings back around to the softness, that same softness that is valiantly attempting to injure her in a way only Pixar has paid Tim Allen and Tom Hanks to do. Brutally and emotionally. She quickly averts her eyes, picking at what's either mud or ash under a few fingernails.

"Well," a smile cracks and her teeth are peeking and she's really calm because she really needs to be. And also, "It's not my house, though."

And the Breaker of Chains does not laugh but she won't let that stop her. She chuckles and grins and,

"You're  _safe_  here." There's the brush of a hand over her own, not quite hovering or grabbing or anything.

And she doesn't try to laugh this time. Nerves and a need to keep calm aside, she's so. She's so taken aback by that  _super blatant untruth_. She doesn't want to call it a lie because even she understands how hard it can be to disconnect from who one pretends to be and who one actually is in the comfort and safety of their own home. So it's not a lie cuz she isn't intentionally being dishonest.

But Queen Sleestak is so fucking worried and open AND A FUCKING LIZARD MONSTER that the laughter just kinda bursts out of her without her permission. Body shaking, tears in eyes, gut busting sort of laughter. The fine lizard lady is startled, comforting hand jerking back to her side.

"You," she's catching her breath, coughing and weakly laughing. "You  _can't_  be serious. The three in there are older than you, your patriarch, and your brood combined, not to mention you feast on living flesh. Now, I understand you mean me no harm or whatever,  _for now_ , but  _please_  reconsider your previous statement. I'm as safe here as I am in a drug den."

That is to say, her safety is relative and hardly guaranteed.

"Uh, err, no offense."

* * *

They'd been speaking quietly amongst themselves, nearly inaudibly. They'd waited to do so until Edward and Carlisle were well and far enough away they wouldn't hear. Well,  _really_ , they'd waited until Edward wouldn't hear their thoughts. Kate and Irina, and her for that matter, know how to avoid too much spelunking through their brains.

The boy is polite and tries his best to avoid hearing more than surface thoughts so he'd have to do some deep skull diving to know they were all itching, ready, waiting for the chance to descend like wolves upon that girl. She was pretty-ish. She does smell lovely and she is interesting. About as much as any human can be. So interesting in a fleeting, fragile sort of way.

But those little oddities of hers aren't what have them chomping at the bit, anxious as they hiss whispers waiting for something like an appropriate moment to intervene in Esme's conversation. It's got a bit more to do with her circumstances, why she's here in the first place, how why what she did that had summoned them to her like things possessed.

" _The three in there are older than you, your patriarch, and your brood combined-_ " and that is just  _too_  much. Tanya rises to her feet, throws only a glance to her sisters - a very clear  _Stay here_  - and prowls towards the kitchen. Esme looks to her and oh she must be a sight for the way golden eyes widen.

And Bella, pretty-ish kind-of interesting, knows too much strange little Bella is already locked up with her heart hammering away.

"How do you know that?" She's not even trying to sound as cold as she most certainly does its just. She's a little on edge with this girl. Her heart throbs out an angry beat but her breathing is measured and calm.

"How do I know what?" She's too close for comfort, she knows she is and even if she were somehow unaware of socially acceptable distances between two people, the fact she can feel the heat of the girl's skin...

"My age. How do you know my age?" Finally Bella's head twitches slightly to the side. She can just see one brown eye. Her pupils, well, this pupil is dilated. Sweat is beginning to bead on her brow. She's pale she's.

She seems to be going into shock.

"I don't." And then, as she speaks her heart begins to slow.

"I've never made any claim to know your age." She reaches up, causal as you please, to run a hand through her hair and discreetly mop sweat from her brow.

"But I've made it clear my distaste for you all pretending, haven't I?" Her pupils - and she can see both as Bella fully turns and takes a step back from her - are returning to normal an-

_Wh-what in the world!?_

It's back. That that deep primal something inside. That creeping sensation that summoning call. It's quiet but it's there and her sisters are standing next to her but she hadn't summoned them hadn't even heard them move to enter the kitchen hadn't hadn't-

"It's obvious, isn't it? The way you walk, talk, hold yourself. I can feel it under my very skin. You," and her eyes cut to each Denali sister as she pauses. "You are Ancient. Hundreds and hundreds of years old. Thousands, maybe."

She's different. She's different she's different why is she different what  _is_  this. It's something strange it's something something something almost

 _Familiar_.

"Or am I wrong? Please, I beg you, tell me that I am!" And she laughs and Tanya is only of the right mind to notice that they all lurch forward a touch.

"No," Bella sighs and her arms cross, fingers from one hand tapping against her other forearm. "No I don't suppose you can, can you?" And she smiles and it's. It's fucking  _chilling_. It's the first time in ages and eons she's felt cold.

"What  _are_  you?" She'd, in any other situation, snap this girl's very fragile neck. Like a wet branch or stick. In any other situation the girl would be dead the second she'd spouted off knowledge of their age. But in any other situation her arms wouldn't be shaking with the effort of trying to move, her body wouldn't disobey her commands to  _move move Goddammnit move!_

"I'm just a girl," and this bold little tart steps forward, pats her cheek. "And you're not even the oldest of your kind."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm. An. AUNT! AAAAHHHHH it happened on Monday you guys he's sofa king cute! I don't even like babies like that, I'm a bit of a bumbling brute you see so fragile things like tiny fresh-from-coochy-kingdom humans make me anxious but i fudging LOVE this kid. I wanna hold him but alas even I don't trust me. However I WILL be the weird overbearing relative and I'm so excited for that!!!! 
> 
> Ahem, so about the story... WHOA THAT RESPONSE LAST CHAPTER!!!! Thank you Starr babies sooooo much you blew me away! I wanna say something to everyone but in the interest of not having a note section longer than my actual chapter.... I put my love for smoking into this. I've been smoking for about as long as I've been writing - so like eleven or twelve years - so I've got a tiny bit of experience to use and abuse and it's always bothered me when you'll be reading something and the author CLEARLY does not understand what cannabis does or what it can do or why it does etc etc etc, so this was my effort to put the record straight. I WILL continue this effort, i will improve upon it and I'll provide more knowledge for the less informed.
> 
> I'll be going now, thank you guys and gals again so much for your support you might not know but it means the world to me, stay sweet babies. Stay the sweetest ;3


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